What do you do when you hurt her feelings?

[DavidS]

Obviously this is an age old question, but add lack of theory of mind and inability to express emotions in an understanding way makes it worse for us aspies involved in NT relationships.
What do you do to show her you love her when you hurt her feelings through a lack of understanding?

 

[Mia]

Tell her you're sorry and didn't mean to. Then do something together.

 

[Major Tom]

Write a letter and be sincere. Don't give her any BS. Just the truth.

 

[Wolfsage]

Think about it. You know her. Think about how she would interpret your gift and what would best represent your truly sorry in her eyes.

 

[OkRad]

You are so sweet even to care. Flowers are always nice. And that awkward explanation of "I don't know what I am doing, but what do you need?" You are a good and decent fellow and I know she will understand!

 

[Aspychata]

Or simply saying, l screw up at times, but at the end of the day, l hope you understand l really care for you.

And one single flower. Followed with a kiss.

Or a backrub or footrub.

Me, l would love a giant bowl of popcorn and watching a cheesy comedy so we could laugh.

 

[ThomasTallis]

I really like John Gray's Venus and Mars books to explain NT men/women and what she expects and what works. He even give the exact phrasing and explains why NT men or women would express themselves like that in the first place. John Gray doesn't address the Aspie/Autistic angle at all, but he does break down into plain English things that she would never even think of to say to even a NT guy.

John Gray's books have helped me in dealing with NT men and women even in non romantic contexts as well and provides usable solutions immediately useful.