What defines Autism for you?

[nyxjord]

Random question but here I go: what defines ASD for you? Does someone have to have specific experiences, mindset, feeling of being alien, etc in order to be considered on the spectrum?? When you think of someone on the spectrum, what do you think of, as being the common denominator between the two of you (if you are ASD)? For me, I immediately think, 'Well here's someone who also did not get the book of how to act in social situations, is probably socially awkward and also has that mindset of being from another planet, and so set apart from most everyone else)." What about everyone else here?

 

[tachyon]

Definitely the social thing!
Over the years I've built up a toolkit of behaviours & speech that can get me a 'pass' most of the time, but it still takes concentrated effort. If there are new people to meet it's even more difficult and will not be long before I find an excuse to leave early. Fortunately I live alone and usually recover quickly

 

[KinksFan]

My special interests and the way that they colour my personality in a refreshing way is what defines autism for me. If that was taken away from me, I'd be a very grumpy person to be around.

 

[Tom]

Idk. Maybe Ice Fishing?

 

[garnetflower13]

I think that idea about a book for social behavior has haunted me all my life. When someone would get upset with my behavior I would always wonder what book they had read that told them how to respond or not respond to certain things? So yes, that would sum it up for me.

 

[Judge]

For me? Most of all having a constant sense of alienation towards others based largely on one premise. That while I can feel a sense of need for people socially in small doses, I can also feel an opposite need for solitude. Which never changes.

For me it represents a kind of necessary balance, which clearly doesn't mesh well with a Neurotypical world.

It may not make any sense, but it simply is who and what I am. Leaving me for the most part quite alone, for better and for worse.

 

[DogwoodTree]

I agree with the OP. What it boils down to for me is that separateness, and I can remember feeling that way all my life, in every situation I've ever been in.

There are groups where I've been somewhat more successful in managing to read their expectations and accurately predict and perform what's expected of me. But it's always an act. It never feels like the real me. It's always a performance based on what information/guidelines I've managed to collect and build for that particular group. With each new group, I somewhat have to start over.

With each new relationship, I again resort to mirroring the other person as much as possible and becoming whatever role they expect of me. Some of that could be explained by the INTP "chameleon effect", but it doesn't feel "real" to me no matter how good a job I do at it. (It might feel fairly authentic in the moment because I'm so caught up in the process, but sometimes just within a few moments of leaving that person's presence, I look back and can't even recognize the role I was playing as being an expression of who I really am inside.)

There's this utter disconnect between my inner world and the outer world, no matter how much I want to connect. It's not just a matter of learning the social rules better...it's the very fact that I must follow the algorithms in order to interact successfully. It might feel more intuitive at times as I get better at implementing a particular set of algorithms with a particular person (kinda like driving can feel natural once you get enough practice), but it's not a natural expression of myself and requires implementing that externally-derived system of rules in order to be successful on any level.

 

[Warmheart]

If I were to meet someone with ASD, I imagine that they:
would feel that they were different than most people
would need and cherish their solitude to recharge and find their equilibrium
would also have a beautifully complex, compelling, kaleidoscopic autistic mindscape that captivates, draws them in
would have a justifiable sense of stress and confusion in social situations, coupled with a sensitivity to rejection
would have some really neat rituals and routines to set the world in happy order
would have some significant sensory challenges
would have a really cool special interest that they could gab about with passion and enthusiasm
would take a long time to build trust, but eventually would have that famous aspie loyalty
would have some fantastic stims which soothe, self-regulate, and send them into their "happy place"
would love to be appreciated for being who they are, including their autism.

 

[Progster]

When I was a small child in primary school I was bullied. My classmates would take delight in teasing me until I melted down, and I shouted Why? Why? Why? at them. That became my nickname: "Why?" I knew that children who were different got teased, but I could see no reason why I was different... I wasn't fat, I didn't wear glasses. I couldn't understand it. Why? For me, autism is the answer to my question "why?"

It also is the reason why socialising always felt like watching TV, why I often need to be alone and why I hate noise (apart from music)

 

[AsheSkyler]

What autism is at its core, I do not know. It seems to be a conglomeration of a multitude of things that when put together is what people recognize as "autism". So to me, autism is a hamburger comprising of social anxiety, anti-social personality disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, attention deficit (hyperactivity) disorder, and sensory processing disorder (including misophonia, photophobia, dyspraxia, and a host of hyper- or hyposensitive senses). And the little oddballs I do not currently know where they come from like echolalia, perseverance problems, and intense special interests. Might get a fully loaded hamburger with bacon, cheese, and all sorts of good stuff (all the symptoms!), or just a bare-bones basic burger of meat and bread (very few symptoms, lucky dog).

As I am also a glutton, a hamburger sounds very good both as an analogy and as supper. Excuse me while I step into the kitchen and get to cooking!

 

[Structrix]

I think having really intense special interests definitely defines autism for me. That and having a ridiculous level of knowledge regarding your special interests. Yup, that's not normal....LOL

 

[Etzelaire]

In broad terms, individuals that differ from the bulk on their way of experimenting life.