julianfoster
Active Member
Hi everyone,
I've been a long time reader of this site and finally gathered up enough courage to post something on here, as I feel that most of you here have great opinions to offer and I could use all the help I can get. I'm 38, officially diagnosed with Aspergers a few years back. I've been in a relationship for the past 5 years with a woman and things have been rocky for the last 2 years. We were engaged and planning to get married in 2011 but unfortunately I got fired from my job and we had to move everything back. During this time, I slipped into severe depression and anxiety. I was having episodes almost twice a week and the anxiety got so bad, I couldn't even talk to the pizza delivery guy. During this time, my fiancee was carrying the weight and working two jobs to help me pay for my medical bills. Through all this, I've developed a bad sense of self confidence and self esteem. For the last two years, I've been unable to perform sexually. I know this is a mental issue because the few times where we attempted sex, I could obtain an erection but couldn't sustain it for more than a few minutes. Because of this, we've not been with each other for almost 10 straight months now. And before that, it was almost 6 months. It's come to the point now that she is even afraid to change in front of me, feeling awkward to be naked. It seems that we have lost connection with each other because of the lack of intimacy and things are getting worse. I want to be with her so bad, but my fear and anxiety of being unable to perform severely cripples me. I know I have to overcome this to save our relationship. The times when I do muster up enough courage to initiate anything, the awkwardness of us not having been with each other for so long now takes over. I haven't even kissed her in the 4 months now. I'm going to lose her if I don't do something, anything, soon. If anyone has any advice or suggestions, I'd really appreciate it.
- Jules
I've been a long time reader of this site and finally gathered up enough courage to post something on here, as I feel that most of you here have great opinions to offer and I could use all the help I can get. I'm 38, officially diagnosed with Aspergers a few years back. I've been in a relationship for the past 5 years with a woman and things have been rocky for the last 2 years. We were engaged and planning to get married in 2011 but unfortunately I got fired from my job and we had to move everything back. During this time, I slipped into severe depression and anxiety. I was having episodes almost twice a week and the anxiety got so bad, I couldn't even talk to the pizza delivery guy. During this time, my fiancee was carrying the weight and working two jobs to help me pay for my medical bills. Through all this, I've developed a bad sense of self confidence and self esteem. For the last two years, I've been unable to perform sexually. I know this is a mental issue because the few times where we attempted sex, I could obtain an erection but couldn't sustain it for more than a few minutes. Because of this, we've not been with each other for almost 10 straight months now. And before that, it was almost 6 months. It's come to the point now that she is even afraid to change in front of me, feeling awkward to be naked. It seems that we have lost connection with each other because of the lack of intimacy and things are getting worse. I want to be with her so bad, but my fear and anxiety of being unable to perform severely cripples me. I know I have to overcome this to save our relationship. The times when I do muster up enough courage to initiate anything, the awkwardness of us not having been with each other for so long now takes over. I haven't even kissed her in the 4 months now. I'm going to lose her if I don't do something, anything, soon. If anyone has any advice or suggestions, I'd really appreciate it.
- Jules