Wanna Know what’s fun?

[mysterionz]

Know what’s fun? Thinking of the person you trusted that turned their back on you and backstabbed you. I’m trying to resist the urge to check their artwork. That urge keeps coming after I complete an artwork and it makes me want to quit drawing for good which I don’t want to do.. any advice?

Ex friend is also autistic, but that doesn’t excuse them from being a bad person. Remember, just because somebody is a minority group (LGBTQ, disabled, person of color) doesn’t mean they’re exempt from bad behavior.

 

[MildredHubble]

I'm sorry it sounds like your friend has really let you down :-(

Why do you want to check their artwork? Is it something you usually did but now you want to stop doing it?

Is checking their artwork upsetting? I'm just asking because maybe you could separate the person from the artwork? It's something that people find hard to do when artists or musicians do bad things.

If you still enjoy seeing their artwork, then you can still do so as a fellow artist. Like "shame this person is a prize idiot, but they sure can paint."

Doing this might help you move on as eventually the emotions attached can subside. I guess trying to ignore something can keep it stuck in your mind.

I had a couple of very bad art teachers at school. One was far worse than the other and really badly overstepped their bounds. I should have continued to draw just to spite her. But it felt like all the joy had gone when I did. I should have persevered. It's taken over 20 years for me to take it up again.

What I'm saying is that if I had continued in the first place the negative feelings might have evaporated sooner. I would likely have become desensitized to them.

I hope this makes some sense?

Sorry if I've not been much help.

 

[VictorR]

Unless you're engaged in some sort of competition and are wishing to see how they're doing and what they're up to and whether you need to adapt to that (and even for an art competition, I don't really see that, since everyone should be using their own styles and intrepretations, unless you're entering contests where you are directed to use a certain style), I would suggest just permanently walking away.

It can be hard, since I think an innate part of us wants to know what comes next, or if they may be badmouthing or otherwise making misrepresentations about you, but it's not worth the pain that can come with it.

 

[Rodafina]

to check their artwork

What does this mean?

and it makes me want to quit drawing for good which I don’t want to do.. any advice?

Don’t quit. Your skills and your art are precious and unique. If you quit it won’t exist anywhere else in the universe.

Ex friend is also autistic, but that doesn’t excuse them from being a bad person. Remember, just because somebody is a minority group (LGBTQ, disabled, person of color) doesn’t mean they’re exempt from bad behavior.

Good observation.

 

[Slime_Punk]

Artists tend to get into it. A lot. There's a lot of passion and turbulence in the art world, and honestly you're going to encounter this type of thing time and time again even if you're a total pacifist. Especially the higher you climb in your life as an artist, people will resent you more and more from time to time, and those are just the facts. The same goes for outsiders' critique, which can often be even more brutal because some of them have no idea what it's like to see a project to completion and put it out in the open for everyone to judge.

The best way out (imo) is through. Rather than letting this get you down and leading you to quit making art altogether, you have a choice to channel this into even greater art if you so desire. Using uncomfortable emotions as fuel for creativity dates back as far as dates go, and is likely responsible for most of the amazing artwork that we marvel at today. Often, there's a bright side to our darkest emotions and vice versa. Because if we felt pretty damn amazing all the time, I'm not sure if anybody would even make artwork to begin with. And then what?

Remember that it's part of the process. You can't make it any easier, you have to experience it to become strengthened by it. But as always, you will, and it'll totally be worth it.

PS - The only pitfall is this: never measure your artwork by financial success or comparatively against others' work (I'm sure you know by now that the former isn't really going to pay the bills and the latter won't do you much good at all in terms of personal growth). If you measure your current self against your past self instead, you will see the changes that I'm talking about

 

[Owliet]

Know what’s fun? Thinking of the person you trusted that turned their back on you and backstabbed you. I’m trying to resist the urge to check their artwork. That urge keeps coming after I complete an artwork and it makes me want to quit drawing for good which I don’t want to do.. any advice?

Ex friend is also autistic, but that doesn’t excuse them from being a bad person. Remember, just because somebody is a minority group (LGBTQ, disabled, person of color) doesn’t mean they’re exempt from bad behavior.

This is quite vague. Too vague to give solid advice with. If this person has upset you, why would you check out their artwork? Why would you want to quite your art for good because of this? Unless the person has passed your work as their own, then i dont really understand why you’d want to quit And even then, just keep making art. It eventually becomes clear who is the Original artist…

Some People backstab each other all the time, and this has nothing to do with their race, sexuality, disability, gender. Some people think that this is acceptable behavior. Eventually, they do this to the wrong person and they end up facing consequences for their action. Being ASD, does not mean that you are by default a good person incapable of doing wrong, I knew a guy from university who was such a person.

EDIT: Also just wanted to add that I have been upset from things and Ive learned to just not engage anymore with it. I dont go looking for or look at their social media handles. Even if I had the urge. It is just not worth giving people that type of thought.

had a couple of very bad art teachers at school. One was far worse than the other and really badly overstepped their bounds. I should have continued to draw just to spite her. But it felt like all the joy had gone when I did. I should have persevered. It's taken over 20 years for me to take it up again.

Glad that you took it up again. =)

 

[mysterionz]

Why do you want to check their artwork? Is it something you usually did but now you want to stop doing it?

I have this silly urge to despite the fact I quit instagram almost a year ago. They’re on other sites to, like Twitter and deviant art, as well as youtube but don’t upload often. I have their channel blocked so they can’t interact with me. I’ve considered unblocking them but I’d rather not do that.

 

[mysterionz]

I have this silly urge to despite the fact I quit instagram almost a year ago. They’re on other sites to, like Twitter and deviant art, as well as youtube but don’t upload often. I have their channel blocked so they can’t interact with me. I’ve considered unblocking them but I’d rather not do that.

Is checking their artwork upsetting? I'm just asking because maybe you could separate the person from the artwork? It's something that people find hard to do when artists or musicians do bad things.

to me, kind of, mostly yes. I’m kinda upset that they’ve been able to continue and gain popularity for being mean to other ppl (they even said an artist “could not draw” on a fanart drawing of a popular YouTuber almost three years ago. I unfortunately have the last dm exchange from them in my camera roll (THEY contacted me after our first breakup, not me)

 

[Judge]

Sadly I'm apt to think that betrayal is just another thing we on the spectrum must inevitably deal with.

And no, it never gets any easier.

 

[mysterionz]

Sadly I'm apt to think that betrayal is just another thing we on the spectrum must inevitably deal with.

And no, it never gets any easier.

They had contacted me on insta thru an alt acc saying how “inspired” they were by my art and how they wanted to be friends again. Shouldn’t have taken that offer. My art (circa 2021) attached below

 

[Raggamuffin]

I think as my self confidence grows, I will become more of an art lover.

What I tend to feel when I see artwork is imposter syndrome. I feel ashamed when I see other people's talents, and the inner critic has a field day attempting to compare other people's talents to my own perceived lack of talent.

As for backstabbers and bad friends - it can be hard to let go entirely. I've cut 3 people off in recent months, and I continually feel like a bad friend, especially regarding one. But I know I'm not being a good friend to myself keeping these people in my life.

Ed

 

[mysterionz]

I think as my self confidence grows, I will become more of an art lover.

What I tend to feel when I see artwork is imposter syndrome. I feel ashamed when I see other people's talents, and the inner critic has a field day attempting to compare other people's talents to my own perceived lack of talent.

As for backstabbers and bad friends - it can be hard to let go entirely. I've cut 3 people off in recent months, and I continually feel like a bad friend, especially regarding one. But I know I'm not being a good friend to myself keeping these people in my life.

Ed

I agree with this. I hate imposter syndrome so much.

 

[paloftoon]

One way to help you 'get through' is to seek some positivity to replace or complement the negativity.

https://www.jewelneverbroken.com/I bumped into this forum recently and I think it's a beautiful forum that offers free casual meditation to consider and ways of thinking to help you get through a day better.

Happy to refer you myself if you'd like.
Please ask me to refer you if you decide to try out the website. (PM me your e-mail address and you'll get an invite from a "Simon B".)

 

[MildredHubble]

to me, kind of, mostly yes. I’m kinda upset that they’ve been able to continue and gain popularity for being mean to other ppl (they even said an artist “could not draw” on a fanart drawing of a popular YouTuber almost three years ago. I unfortunately have the last dm exchange from them in my camera roll (THEY contacted me after our first breakup, not me)

Sadly there are two types of people in this world. Those who want to learn and practice and improve their skills, with hard work and dedication. The second type can't be bothered and will tear others down to try to make themselves look better. The second type rarely get better with their skills and lag behind. Unfortunately their arrogance doesn't seem to hinder them and their ego :-(

It sounds like you have given this person enough opportunities to mend their ways. If associating with them brings you down and damages your self esteem then I think it makes sense not to invite them into your life.

Keep going with your brilliant art! Do it for yourself and no one else. Keep pushing forward and never let them bring you down!

 

[mysterionz]

Sadly there are two types of people in this world. Those who want to learn and practice and improve their skills, with hard work and dedication. The second type can't be bothered and will tear others down to try to make themselves look better. The second type rarely get better with their skills and lag behind. Unfortunately their arrogance doesn't seem to hinder them and their ego :-(

It sounds like you have given this person enough opportunities to mend their ways. If associating with them brings you down and damages your self esteem then I think it makes sense not to invite them into your life.

Keep going with your brilliant art! Do it for yourself and no one else. Keep pushing forward and never let them bring you down!

Thank you