• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Wait, you said this, but meant that....

I cant remember what I do but i figure it out based on context, like if it's over used and talked about a lot then its probably not true and if it makes more sense for it to be the other one then ita probably that. I dont know why there isnt truth here and I get confused on them sometimes but I've gotten good at figuring them out
 
Just deal with people in jobs that aren't truthful or interested in being helpful, not sure how to deal with them. So l end up ignoring them completely.
 
Aspychata said:
Just deal with people in jobs that aren't truthful or interested in being helpful, not sure how to deal with them. So l end up ignoring them completely.
Click to expand...
I'd probably tell them that what they are doing is wrong and ignore them but I dont know what you should do
 
If the context is right, I explain that I won't understand them unless they say exactly what they mean. Nice people, smart people, people that decide they'd like for me to understand them, or some combination of these kinds of people then adjust their behavior and begin to make sense most of the time.

People who don't make some adjustment and are fond of double-meaning language continue to cause confusion, get frustrated, and blame me as their blood pressure rises and hair turns grey, while I watch in fascination and pity.
 
Aspychata said:
How do you deal with double messages, l feel l don't understand them, and why can't there be truth here?
Click to expand...

Probably because some people are not direct as they have learned over time, or in childhood, not to be. People of a a certain age can be that way, they often have difficulty indicating what they want or giving instructions. They are not 'truthful' because they have learned not to be.

Growing up with controlling or aggressive parents or teachers, some are afraid to be blunt or truthful as it's perceived as aggressive or demanding. So they will soften or convolute the demand, question, response and go about it in a less blunt manner.
 
Last edited:
This is why I prefer working with children. They're so honest and straight-forward!

A student said to me, "Your haircut is so bad I think I should quit piano until it grows back." :eek:
 
Aspychata said:
How do you deal with double messages, l feel l don't understand them, and why can't there be truth here?
Click to expand...

I think some people intentionally try to confuse others either for their own amusement or because they feel they aren't responsible for the outcome if they haven't asked directly. Some people seem to feel they come across as smarter if they are indirect and wordy.

I've gotten to the point where I will openly ask people at times to clarify what they are and aren't saying.

Oh, and I like working with children due to their directness and frankness too :)
 
Cazelle said:
I think some people intentionally try to confuse others either for their own amusement or because they feel they aren't responsible for the outcome if they haven't asked directly. Some people seem to feel they come across as smarter if they are indirect and wordy.

I've gotten to the point where I will openly ask people at times to clarify what they are and aren't saying.

Oh, and I like working with children due to their directness and frankness too :)
Click to expand...
Well that's annoying and stupid for them to do

I've almost gotten their but not yet I dont think

Yeah that's one thing I like about children and they are just more fun and less annoying besides their directness can be insulting or off putting
 
Cazelle said:
I think some people intentionally try to confuse others either for their own amusement or because they feel they aren't responsible for the outcome if they haven't asked directly. Some people seem to feel they come across as smarter if they are indirect and wordy.
Click to expand...

One quote I heard a lot in college: If you can't impress them with your intelligence, baffle them with your BS.
 
You might find this book to be helpful: A Field Guide to Earthlings
[I’m still waiting for an NT to review this book and tell us if this is really how it is for them. If it is, then it should be required reading for all auties as it is very enlightening]
 
Cazelle said:
I think some people intentionally try to confuse others either for their own amusement or because they feel they aren't responsible for the outcome if they haven't asked directly.
Click to expand...
This annoys me and happens a lot.
Especially the person I live with does it for amusement because he knows I have Asperger's and
take what he is saying literally. He thinks it's fun and calls me "burger!"
(His name for us.) Rude.
 
If I'm not sure what the person meant, I ask for clarification. Unfortunately, I'm often unaware that there even was a hidden meaning and a lot of misunderstandings occur because of this. In which case I might say, "(I'm sorry) I misunderstood, I thought you meant...."
 
Progster said:
If I'm not sure what the person meant, I ask for clarification. Unfortunately, I'm often unaware that there even was a hidden meaning and a lot of misunderstandings occur because of this. In which case I might say, "(I'm sorry) I misunderstood, I thought you meant...."
Click to expand...
That's similar to what I do, besides that I dont apologize as formally
 
I don't deal with it. It causes meltdowns and this is a huge trigger point between hubby and me and recently, my brother stayed and understood what my husband was saying and even to the point, saying it was me who had the issue.

Boy, the nt world is hard work.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom