Trouble with College Demands

[Sherlock10]

Hello,

A year and a half ago I enrolled in several college correspondence courses and ended with finishing only one of my five classes. I received perfect scores on all my subjects, but I struggled with a phobia of tests and a lack of consuming interest in all but one of my studies. Consequently, I fell into a chasm of depression at the completion of my first semester. My parents wanted me to be hospitalized in fear that I would lose my life, however, the thought of stagnating in a hospital room made me so terrified that I completely refused. As a result I was forced to quit most of my classes and spent the rest of the year playing my violin and completing my Ancient History course. I am now 21 and have been told that I am an Aspie by one of the many doctors I have seen. Although it helps to know why I am this way, I still have not returned to college and have no idea what career I want and feel like I am floundering.

 

[Spinning Compass]

You are not the only one floundering. I too tried college and ended up dropping out. Part of the problem was finances. College is hard enough for someone with Aspergers, hell, it is hard enough for Neurotypicals, without adding the stress of working on top of it. But there weren't any resources for adults with Aspergers back then (1970's) and as far as my parents were concerned I was normal and that was it. Well, not exactly normal, you see, I had enough oddities to make me stand out as not being normal (my peers made sure that I was aware of my status), but I was expected to live as if I was normal and to put all that Special Ed business behind me. So I know what you are going through. I never did get the "career" that I "wanted" (I still don't know what that is; I learned that dreams are foolish things long time ago) but I have a pretty good job. I figure day to day is about all I can handle.

 

[Sherlock10]

I recently read an article which said that the two greatest death bed regrets are having not expressed oneself completely and having not chosen a career based on ones passions. I realize that life is far from the dreams we were taught to believe, but I cannot fathom the idea of working the majority of my life in a profession which ekes out only a salary and a reason to exist. It may just be the aspersers talking; I feel the need to find the importance in my life or risk being consumed by a malignant state of depression.

 

[Geordie]

I can't quite cope with college - in fact, I wonder why am I there, since I'm learning something that doesn't seem to link to my studies.

But there are different types of Aspies. I know another Aspie friend who got a rather high average grade, good for him.

So long as we are doing what we love, and it leads to a real viable career ahead that fits the society and feeds us, it will be all good.

 

[Aalo]

I can't quite cope with college - in fact, I wonder why am I there, since I'm learning something that doesn't seem to link to my studies.

I too have major issues with non relevant courses. And there are few of them every year I'm attending. It doesn't matter how interesting most of courses are, everything seems to get blew because of these some fillers that probably are there just to get credits even. Because of these I've started wanting to simply drop out. (And because sleeping well to wake up early and seeing people is hard, too.)

It's funny that at the age of 20 I thought there's no fuzz to working life just to beg frustrated and wait for pension, but not it seems I'm never graduating, not at least until age of 31, and even if I got employed right away I'd get to be in a working life only for several decades, it seems not worth it. Too little benefit for such a hard work as studying is? I doubt it'll feel like that after few working years, but how to believe it now, uh.

 

[Intemporal_Reverie]

I graduated not long ago, this past May of 2012 and to this day I question if attending college was even worth it. I still do not know. Like others have posted, I didn't exactly agree with classes I was forced to take (certain required courses) and naturally had a more difficult time focusing on those. I did manage to make the dean's list on multiple occasions. At least I got my 4 years in and did very well.

I started college late as well so for those who worry about this, try not to because you are not alone there.

Basically, all I've done in my early 20's aside from waste time with so many of my issues, was work at pointless BS jobs (all of which totally sucked) and held little promise for a real life of total, or close to independence/freedom (in that sense) and a halfway decent future. I am working right now to secure a real career based job and not some pointless throw-away job like all the past jobs I've only known.

 

[umbrellabeach]

I don't know if I want to go to college. It sounds incredibly demanding and time-consuming. My brother is in high school but is also taking college courses online, and whenever we want to do something together we have to plan around his schoolwork (sometimes wait until a certain day) because he usually doesn't have time for anything else. I don't think I'd be able to handle that. I'd be miserable not having time to do anything I actually enjoy or consider worthwhile. Besides, I have no idea what I want to study. I have hobbies and interests, of course, but I think making them into a career would take all the fun out of them.

 

[gregmcph]

But that's what College is. It's something that takes over your life so that you can go have a career, learn something deep, have a wider life.
If it would make you miserable, then definitely don't do it.