Tone of voice...

[AGXStarseed]

Does anyone else have an issue regarding their tone of voice?
When I was younger (school age), my family used to tease me because I spoke with an unusually 'posh' accent which the rest of my family didn't have. For example, I used to pronounce the word Cottingham (silent 'h') as Cotting-Ham.

As time went on, my accent changed but then people used to complain at me - saying I was mumbling (despite the fact I could hear myself quite clearly). As such, when those occasions occur, I try to raise my voice a bit so I'm not mumbling. However, that then gets complaints as people then tell me to 'stop shouting'.
This is extremely aggravating for me as I can't find this so-called middle ground between mumbling and shouting.
For me, the worse part is when I try and say something several times (with the person I'm talking to not been able to hear me) before giving up and just saying in a genuinely angry voice "it doesn't matter - you can't hear me anyway!"
It's quite rare for me to lose my temper, but that is one of those occasions where I have this metaphorical 'shorter fuse'.

Lastly, I have times where I reply to someone and they claim that I'm been cheeky because of my tone of voice (which is never my intention and I end up apologizing each time). As such, I now have to state every time that I struggle with my tone of voice so not to automatically judge me because of it.

Does anyone else have this issue?

 

[SameStars]

There's a difference between how I speak to strangers and people I know. While I usually speak formally, I'm soft-spoken, higher in pitch, or halted with people I don't know, and sarcastic (whether I intend to be or not) with friends and acquaintances. This causes no problems, only sometimes people seem to think I'm joking when I'm not.

 

[Kari Suttle]

As a kid I was always being told that I was mumbling and others couldn't hear me, so eventually (in my late teens) I learned to just raise my voice when talking to strangers. But even then I can never really tell how much is necessary so I probably end up talking too loudly. Sometimes I'm even myself aware that I accidentally shouted instead of just talking audibly so they could hear me. I think I just talk quietly. I'm hypersensitive to sound so it makes sense to me, at least.

 

[Spiller]

Usually, I'm mumbling, shouting, abrupt or monotone.
I have a strange disapproving/sarcastic tone with my uncle - no-one else - and he's a nice guy, I don't know why this is
I've taken to singing loudly in the car in an attempt to train my voice to express what I want it to..

 

[DogwoodTree]

I have a strange disapproving/sarcastic tone with my uncle - no-one else - and he's a nice guy, I don't know why this is

I'm like this with a couple of people. Usually it's people I really like, but I'm convinced they won't like me, so it's a defense mechanism of sorts...make myself unlikable so it doesn't hurt so much when they don't notice me or care about me.

 

[Spiller]

it's a defense mechanism of sorts

Possibly, the more I want to have an interesting conversation with him, the more, to my own ears, I sound like I couldn't give a t**s about his opinion; I get more anxious to try harder and it just gets worse! I feel like a terrible person!

 

[DogwoodTree]

Possibly, the more I want to have an interesting conversation with him, the more, to my own ears, I sound like I couldn't give a t**s about his opinion; I get more anxious to try harder and it just gets worse! I feel like a terrible person!

Don't beat yourself up--it just makes it worse. Really. There's one person in particular for me...the more I can coach myself on being okay if he doesn't like me or care about me or pay attention to me, the more relaxed I can be with him, and the more he seems to open up to me. It seems that it's my desire for a friendship with this person that makes that friendship more unlikely.

 

[Judge]

I have a monotone voice combined with a slight accent not indigenous to this area. I think at times some folks get exasperated with me, as if I speak with very little emotion or enthusiasm. It isn't true, but people often don't get past the face value of things.

 

[Spiller]

I agree, sometimes I can speak and act.. Mmm fairly relaxed/normal (my 'Edgar Suit'), but when I'm anxious I'm Logical/'Alien Robot'.
What I look like to them, or why they don't talk to me, I do not know!

 

[clg114]

I am a big guy with deep, loud voice. I have been told that this is intimidating. The truth is that I'm just a gentle giant who is not trying to intimidate anyone. It's just my normal voice. Luckily I do not talk a lot and my wife guides me in social situations.

 

[OddGirl]

I tend to speak too loudly. Part of this is that I'm going a little deaf, and I know part of it is anxiety, but most of it seems to be a sensory regulation problem. Also, if I get really angry, I start speaking slower, and with a slight British accent. I'm Canadian, and my family has been in Canada since the Napoleonic wars, so there's no reason I should do this. I have no idea why this happens.

 

[Etzelaire]

I talk a bit slower than average which grants me extra time to wage my words and produce a more accurate response. I also put a lot of emphasis in vocal tone changing to create different sensations. Now that I'm thinking of it, maybe I think too much about everything and need to let it roll as it comes.

 

[epath13]

Apparently I can speak very softly. Most people can't hear what I say. I don't hear that. When I speak louder, to me it sounds like I'm yelling

 

[ExplosiveTMT]

I sometimes mumble words and get asked to repeat what I said.
I also find that sometimes with words, they can come out mispronounced even though I know how to pronounce them. I sometimes need a control over my speech.

 

[Ste11aeres]

Does anyone else have an issue regarding their tone of voice.
When I was younger (school age), my family used to tease me because I spoke with an unusually 'posh' accent which the rest of my family didn't have.

That's so funny, because it was similar for me. Maybe if Americans used the word "posh" they would have said the same thing about me. Instead, people used to say that I had an "English accent". Even recently, people sometimes ask. "Are you from Europe?"

 

[AsheSkyler]

Er, volume, tone, or accent??

While anybody I talk/Skype/Ventrilo/TeamSpeak to online can automatically tell I'm from the South, some of my fellows here have asked me if I'm from the UK or Australia. After one heavy Celtic music binge, my "house" sounds more like "hoos" and drives some of my family nuts. My "about"and "sorry" has turned a wee Canadian too, so that confuses people all the more.

Most have trouble understanding me because I talk quietly and fast. I have a lot of embarrassing memories of "they can hear you" that I've gotten quieter and quieter.

Tone is a real pain, because either I'm way too perky or I have a really scathing overtone. And then sometimes I just sound sarcastic no matter what I say or how I feel.

 

[bentHnau]

I can't recall much trouble with tone (that's been brought to my attention), but I've had people asking me to speak more loudly for as long as I can remember. I then have to begin yelling.

 

[ImAnAspie]

I range from flat to slightly less flat. I don't get excited much but then, we are on Terra at the moment!

 

[Heissonear]

I'm a low volume soft tone talker. And very monotone, with little emotion.

All my life people have asked me to "speak louder" and ask "what did you say"? And many have stated that I'm emotionally always the same.

I have to purposely make myself speak louder when talking in front of others.

 

[Cali Cat]

I have a deeper voice than is typical for a woman. It's certainly monotone and lacks emotion, inflection, etc. The cadence is just flat. I have a very slight Southern drawl and a lazy way of talking that developed sometime in my teens, probably from listening to Arlo Gutherie's "Alice's Restaurant" too many times. Before that, I spoke very distinctly and affected a little bit of an English accent (I've been an Anglophile since birth). I guess I got tired of being teased for it, so I changed my way of speaking during my teens. That was also when I taught myself to use slang. My speech was rather proper as a child. I was considered a "snob" by most other children. I don't think I have much trouble with speaking too softly, but I do speak slowly and somewhat hesitantly. I think this is due to trying to choose my words very carefully. I don't really like to talk much, except when something really pisses me off ... then, look out ... my deep voice carries a long distance.

I remember having a therapist once who used to annoy me by pointing out the fact that my voice was flat and expressed no emotion. For some reason, this constant comment really irritated me and made me self-conscious about my voice. Heck of a therapist, huh? I had more complexes when I left than I had going in.