The voice inside my head

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

Does not match the one on the outside?
So the voice I speak when I talk inside my head and soul, does not match the voice that comes out when I talk?
What do you think this could be caused by?
Because it is a puzzle to me?
My voice on the inside is really feminine, gentle and loving and the voice that comes out seems really outgoing and confident and together and a bit pushy
I feel like my voice in the inside is who I really am but I am proud of myself but my inner voice is me.
So I'm not sure why I have this....
Except I have been through a lot of illness and trauma.
I feel like I'm ok but I'm puzzled why those voices do not match

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Mine doesn't match either. I wouldn't give it a second thought.

Also, consider that when you are actually speaking, what you hear is often influenced by bone conduction, so it isn't actually what others hear. If you've ever seen a video of yourself speaking, your voice, as you listen to it, doesn't quite match.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

Thanks. It is so hard to understand, I feel like the voice inside my head is me.
And the one I speak is someone else.
So I hope one day I can find a way to know who I actually am
Because I feel like I am ok. I just do not understand the difference.

 

[Rodafina]

I wonder if it has something to do with confidence and anxiety. The inner voice that you describe sounds confident and comfortable in who you really are and want to be.

How you describe how you sound with your speaking voice sounds like maybe you are compensating for some anxiety. A little bit louder and more “pushy“ than you would like. Sometimes a lack of confidence can make us overreact a little bit and how we portray ourselves. Not sure, just an idea.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

I wonder if it has something to do with confidence and anxiety. The inner voice that you describe sounds confident and comfortable in who you really are and want to be.

How you describe how you sound with your speaking voice sounds like maybe you are compensating for some anxiety. A little bit louder and more “pushy“ than you would like. Sometimes a lack of confidence can make us overreact a little bit and how we portray ourselves. Not sure, just an idea.

I feel like I have to be strong amd have had no choice.
I had to learn how to stand up for myself. I have had trauma and very serious illness.
I.had to survive even when I was crushed. I have to fight. I have no other choices.
And I have experienced trauma and low self esteem and sometimes I need some compassion, some support and a little holiday not more heaped on my back.
If I have low self esteem I should not feel badly because I have been through illness and abuse.

 

[tree]

@lovely_darlingprettybaby

By "voice" do you mean the sound/tone of voice when you speak ?

Or do you mean that what you think and what you say differ?
That you have thoughts that are difficult for you to adequately express?

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

@lovely_darlingprettybaby

By "voice" do you mean the sound/tone of voice when you speak ?

Or do you mean that what you think and what you say differ?
That you have thoughts that are difficult for you to adequately express?

The sound of my voice.
In my head it is really sweet and lovely and just young sounding, when it comes out it sounds really outgoing and confident and a bit demanding and pushy.
So that is a bit confusing. I had to be demanding and pushy because that is the only way I could survive.
And because of trauma and illness I am not really confident.
I am not outgoing but I still love listening to loud music.
But in my head sounds like the real me because I am sweet and shy and often retiring and keep to myself. I just like to mind my own business and just look out for me and have my own beautiful life and sweet lovely worlds.
I like to go to bed with a book and just be in my own world and live my own little feminine and sweet existence
That is why I often say I am a fairy because my inner me is like a little fairy and I love being looked after and given attention to and people being kind to me.

 

[Rodafina]

I feel like I have to be strong amd have had no choice.
I had to learn how to stand up for myself. I have had trauma and very serious illness.
I.had to survive even when I was crushed. I have to fight. I have no other choices.
And I have experienced trauma and low self esteem and sometimes I need some compassion, some support and a little holiday not more heaped on my back.
If I have low self esteem I should not feel badly because I have been through illness and abuse.

No, you should definitely not feel badly about low self-esteem. Quite the opposite – I think you should feel proud for overcoming so much. But maybe it is the strength that you must project because of everything you’ve been through that is coming through in your spoken voice. Your inner voice is more authentically you because you do not have to put on this bravery.

 

[Dagan]

Oh, wow, yes. This used to bother me so much. Coupled with becoming someone who records their voice, too...it took a lot of getting used to. Not just the speaking voice from head voice, but there's also my (anyone's) singing voice and how it differs from all of the speaking and head voices. Then, if that isn't enough to get used to, if you do voice lessons/classes from professionals, you learn that there's technically labeled "head voice" "chest voice" "throat voice" "fry vocals" and so on. Haha. It's so involved.

Definitely pride every single thing you overcome, or even just what you have learned to tolerate. A win is a win, and you are allowed to enjoy it.

 

[Tom]

I think not liking the actual sound of your voice rather common. At least I have heard quite a few mention it. Part may be is that while you hear what you sound like to yourself every day, it's rare you hear what others hear, in some recording. So it sounds strange.

I remember my father being shocked when he heard what he sounded like for the first time. He had no idea he had such a thick New York City irish accent.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

No, you should definitely not feel badly about low self-esteem. Quite the opposite – I think you should feel proud for overcoming so much. But maybe it is the strength that you must project because of everything you’ve been through that is coming through in your spoken voice. Your inner voice is more authentically you because you do not have to put on this bravery.

Thank you for saying it.
Low self esteem is not a sin regardless of how you look.
I used to be a Really big weight and have lost a lot of weight through illness.
I think my weight used to be really quite heavy for a woman so it is not easy to feel confident.
Autistics can be prone to low self esteem and unstable body feelings or image.

 

[NB79]

maybe is because in your inner intimacy you are not defending yourself, and when you speak, you need to be in contact with the outside which is harsh, just an idea.

 

[Lightswitch411]

Does not match the one on the outside?
So the voice I speak when I talk inside my head and soul, does not match the voice that comes out when I talk?
What do you think this could be caused by?
Because it is a puzzle to me?
My voice on the inside is really feminine, gentle and loving and the voice that comes out seems really outgoing and confident and together and a bit pushy
I feel like my voice in the inside is who I really am but I am proud of myself but my inner voice is me.
So I'm not sure why I have this....
Except I have been through a lot of illness and trauma.
I feel like I'm ok but I'm puzzled why those voices do not match

I can't explain why your "inner (thought) voice" doesn't match the one you hear when you actually speak but, I'm guessing, it's similar to why I can read foreign languages fluently until I go to speak them. I have under-developed muscle memory for making non-English sounds.

Maybe you don't have the nuanced muscle control for your vocal voice to match your mental voice?

BTW, you describe your voices as if "feminine, gentle, and loving" can't also be "outgoing, confident, and together". None of these adjectives are mutually exclusive of each other. I'd argue they should go together.

FWIW, I have anauralia...no inner voice...I hear nothing that isn't actually there so you're one up on me.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

maybe is because in your inner intimacy you are not defending yourself, and when you speak, you need to be in contact with the outside which is harsh, just an idea.

You are right I have to fight each day and defend myself so if I have become super aggressive then that is the only way I can survive.
I had to fight for myself and my nature is quite passive.