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The Tragedie of the Aspies

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Madness Man: No! It is me! I prophesy in my spare time... a man's gotta make money in this world, you know.
 
Jonathan - Money? Of course! Money'll help me get out of this mess alright!

Oh wait....this world....and I'm guessing debit isn't taken here in this...uh, dimension (looks around). Well shucks...but don't worry, I'll....wait, where'd that portal go? Oh man, I'M FREAKING OUT!
 
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Mariasha: What happened here? I totally spaced out and now there are more people and what's this about money?....I have no money.... is this a robbery?!
 
Lady Boubou: Madness Man, I know I you said I'd be fine and enjoy it when you eccentricised me all those years ago, but I'm sick of it now. I want out! I want friends, and I don't want to end up like my sister! Give me a cure! Set me free, why don't you babe?
 
Mariasha: What do you mean you don't want to end up like me Boubou?! I am perfectly fantasticalicious...is that a word?...yes I believe it is.....now where are my sausages....
 
Lady Boubou: I don't want end up as someone who makes up stupid words like fantasticalicious. It's too late for you my dear, the madness has maimed your mind, but I still have a chance, and I'm going to take it!
 
Jonathan -Alright, for those of us who want our sanity back, raise your hands....(gets no response)...OK then, for those of us who want our sanity back AND want to get out of this place, raise your hands...(raises hand)...well, looks like I'm a minority here. Perhaps I should put my amateur engineering skills to use by building a time machine...so, um, anyone got a flux capacitor or two?
 
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Mariasha: Hang on that's not a sausage.....you filthy beast!



*mutters* trying to fob me off with hot dogs, I'm a lady I want real meat!
 
Ming the Maginificent/Merciless: Care to try my sausage? I've got some real meat for a lady over here!

[Reaches into pants, pulls out...a small portable refrigeration unit containing several varieties of delicious sausage]
 
Samuel: Jonathan, I want to get out of this place too, but I just need to gather myself and try to understand exactly what's going on...
 
The Crimson Narwhal: Lady Mariasha, I believe you will much prefer to try my sausage! (Aside to audience: When I say "sausage," I am actually talking about my penis! :biggrin:)
 
Jonathan - @ Crimson - Hey, I'M WORKING OVER HERE!!! (looks away, slightly amused yet disgusted) @ Samuel - Brother, I don't think you'll ever comprehend this place. We've got sausages, lizards, a horny whale, psychopaths...oh I don't think I've even introduced myself yet....@ audience - hello everyone, I'm Jonathan - amateur engineer slash chronic sufferer of back pain slash...(back snaps)...OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY!!!! AARRRGHHHH!!! Make that a flux capacitor AND some Ibuprofen...
 
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Mariasha: Ming do you have any cumberland sausages and perhaps some nice boursin cheese in there too? As for you Crimson, call that a proposal? Not a ring in sight, you do realise I am a LADY, I would never partake in such rude acts unless we were wed.

Jonathan I may have to take you up on that offer of leaving, I don't need to get anything back though, my sanity is perfectly intact over there inside that drawer....don't open it though it bites!
 
Lady Boubou:Crimson, get away from her! She gets so nervous in bed that she spews oysters on every man she sleeps with.

It looks like this place could do with a good Queen and King (points to herself and Crimson) to straighten it out, and Jonathan, you could be our slave of honour! Would you like that?
 
Mariasha: And what exactly is wrong with a slimey, foul smelling bed?....yours is hardly the epitome of cleanliness, 2 weeks worth of filthy underwear I found in there once, half of which wasn't even hers! At least I don't think it was, perhaps I'm wrong, do you wear male undergarments sister?
 
Lady Boubou: (stutters anxiously) umm... bah... haha! You said "half of which wasn't even hers" when you should have said "half of which wasn't even yours". You make grammar errors, so what would you know? Ha! I believe I've won!
 
Mariasha: I was addressing the others in the room, telling THEM that half of the underwear was not yours...I can't help it if mummy and daddy sent you to school and locked me in the attic, I learned words myself...from the feet up and uhm twice removed and I'm damn proud so nah nah nah nah nah

*sticks tongue out*
 
Lady Boubou: Oh, well then, excu-use me! Why do you think they locked you in the attic? Do you know why? It was because I, with my incredible powers, predicted that if they let you go to school, your horrible breath would suffocate all of the little children and this town would have no future.

That's nothing to be proud of sissy! And if you have to shove your fat pride into my porcelain face, you're obviously insecure!

That's enough now, I'm too important to speak to you anymore!
 
Mariasha: So who's for a sing song or a dance? I'm sure I saw a piano in one of the other rooms or maybe it was a black and white sofa.....
 
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