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The last thing that made you laugh

skulls.jpg
 
One from Lee Evans about family that I really like:


Have you noticed whenever you go up to the hospital in an emergency, the Doctors want to know who the immediate family is?

Doctor: "Are you the immediate family?"
Me: "No - I'm not that fast".

Who the heck are the immediate family? Who are they?
Do you invite them around your house for dinner and they go like this:

Immediate Family: [High Speed Voice] "We're-already-here-goodbye-we've-gotta-go-now-we're-the-immediate-family-goodbye!"

Who makes this stuff up?
Cause you have your distant relatives and when you invite them around your house for dinner, they stand at the end of the driveway and shout to you:

Distant Relatives: "HELLO, WE'RE THE DISTANT RELATIVES! WE WON'T BE COMING IN!"

Who makes this up?
Because then there's your cousin, once removed.
Why? What the heck did he do?

Then there's your other cousin, twice removed.
"I told you once! Get out!"
 
I had a roommate whose name was spelled differently but pronounced the same. We had a lot of fun with that, but after two years, it had lost all novelty. Then, I went to visit him at a new job, and asked the receptionist if he was free. "And who shall I say is calling?" I gave my name, and then she asked again. The fourth time, she was shouting "No, Who are YOU??" which finally reminded me that we had a new person to deal with. I apologized, but I'm sure it wasn't funny for a while on her end. I've had many laughs since, but it was the remembrance that got it posted now.
 
Shevek said:
I had a roommate whose name was spelled differently but pronounced the same. We had a lot of fun with that, but after two years, it had lost all novelty. Then, I went to visit him at a new job, and asked the receptionist if he was free. "And who shall I say is calling?" I gave my name, and then she asked again. The fourth time, she was shouting "No, Who are YOU??" which finally reminded me that we had a new person to deal with. I apologized, but I'm sure it wasn't funny for a while on her end. I've had many laughs since, but it was the remembrance that got it posted now.
Click to expand...
This immediately made me think of:

Who's on first?

Only those of us of a certain age will get that one.
 
Another from Lee Evans that I find funny as my Mum uses these phrases:



My wife keeps telling me where she's going. She's "just nipping up to the shops", just "popping up to the toilet"; 'nipping' and 'popping' everywhere, she is.

Women have their own time and dimension that no-one else knows; What's a 'Nip'? What the heck's a 'Pop'?
Is a 'Nip' faster than a 'Pop'?

I wish they'd tell us because my wife does it all the time. We'll be driving through the high street and she just gets out the car and walks off;

Wife: "I'm just nipping in here".
Lee: "Don't be nipping anywhere! I'm on a double-yellow line here - what am I gonna tell the Traffic Warden when she starts 'nipping' out a ticket and 'popping' it on the flaming windscreen?!"
 
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