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Suicide (is) or not.

Roxiee

Roxiee

~ broken but beautiful ~
I just feel like giving up honestly I can't stand people having ago at me, I'm trying my best but then I get used. Why am I even here. Yes, I have my daughter but I wish I never wake up
 
Here's a little vote for a big No on the suicide plans. You're hurting now. This is entirely understandable after what you have been through. In fact, though abuse is never right nor just, the fact that it even bothers you shows that you are not robbed of your human instinct for goodness.

Most thoughts of suicide are really thoughts of wanting all the hurt to stop, and figuring out a way to make something "work." There are other ways but the amount of time it takes to clear yourself up is the part that some folks get worried about.
 
Gerontius said:
Here's a little vote for a big No on the suicide plans. You're hurting now. This is entirely understandable after what you have been through. In fact, though abuse is never right nor just, the fact that it even bothers you shows that you are not robbed of your human instinct for goodness.

Most thoughts of suicide are really thoughts of wanting all the hurt to stop, and figuring out a way to make something "work." There are other ways but the amount of time it takes to clear yourself up is the part that some folks get worried about.
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I didn't ask for a vote! I just was confused.
 
Roxiee said:
I just feel like giving up honestly I can't stand people having ago at me, I'm trying my best but then I get used. Why am I even here. Yes, I have my daughter but I wish I never wake up
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if i had a dime fore every time i thought the same i would be bilonere Roxiee . But im not.
 
Gerontius said:
Here's a little vote for a big No on the suicide plans. You're hurting now. This is entirely understandable after what you have been through. In fact, though abuse is never right nor just, the fact that it even bothers you shows that you are not robbed of your human instinct for goodness.

Most thoughts of suicide are really thoughts of wanting all the hurt to stop, and figuring out a way to make something "work." There are other ways but the amount of time it takes to clear yourself up is the part that some folks get worried about.
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Sorry but thank you for always helping me *hugs!*
 
Roxiee said:
I just feel like giving up honestly I can't stand people having ago at me, I'm trying my best but then I get used. Why am I even here. Yes, I have my daughter but I wish I never wake up
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There are many of us at this site that feel like that. Please power thru and love yourself. Your daughter needs you. My daughter got me thru the darkest times in my life. Also, think about if you need a therapist at this point. It sounds like you have a lot to deal with at such a young age.
 
Aspychata said:
There are many of us at this site that feel like that. Please power thru and love yourself. Your daughter needs you. My daughter got me thru the darkest times in my life. Also, think about if you need a therapist at this point. It sounds like you have a lot to deal with at such a young age.
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Thanks.
 
Aspychata said:
There are many of us at this site that feel like that. Please power thru and love yourself. Your daughter needs you. My daughter got me thru the darkest times in my life. Also, think about if you need a therapist at this point. It sounds like you have a lot to deal with at such a young age.
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Our daughters are amazing, they lift us through our hardest times! I love being a mum!
 
Roxie, I may be the biggest example of a suicide survivor here.

A year ago, I was having one of the worst days of my life, and in the midst of it, I took a big pair of ultra-sharp scissors and sliced my arm open. The gash was maybe 1" and a half away from the veins in my wrist; had I reached over a little more, I wouldn't be typing this right now.

I spent two weeks in the hospital for it. The scar is still there, and every time I look at it, I think of how I survived the whole thing. I call it my Hope Scar, because surviving it gave me hope for the future.

I still have horrible ups and downs, and i'll admit, there are still times where i feel hopeless.

But if I can walk around with a scar on my arm that I put there myself, knowing that people are going to see it on me... Can't we all walk with our scars?
 
Besides, I have a familiar now, that my therapist helped me create, and she's given me more hope than I could get from anything i've created myself.

Aloe is the friend that everyone with Autism needs. She is not to be worshipped, just appreciated.
 
I've lived through hell when my child was a baby. I have been to rock bottom in so many ways. I get it.

But...

I have seen it happen, where if you utter out loud that you want to commit suicide, even if you don't mean to go through with it, and you're just going through post-partum depression, or a divorce, etc, Social Services WILL get involved and threaten to take your child if you don't go to therapy and get on meds. I mean it. Two social workers and a sherriffs deputy will show up at your house. Maybe even same day.

Any court mandated reporter on this site, or out in the community will report you.

I mean it. It sounds harsh, but: Fix your life. Your child will permanently be be so mentally scarred up if you kill yourself.

Imagine her ten or so years in the future, in high school. She'll be cutting her wrists and doing drugs, because she feels unloved and unwanted. A thought might go through her mind "Why should I care about myself? My mom sure didn't. I'm nothing to anyone." or alternately, she'll be bounced from foster parent to foster parent, maybe even staying in motel rooms or getting abused and then thrown out on the street when she's eighteen.

You love that girl more than yourself. You'd give your own life for her. I know it. So seriously, watch your moods, and fix your life, or it'll kill your child.
 
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Roxiee said:
Sorry if I am hurting anyone. Hugs :(
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It sounds like you can use a hug for all you have been through.

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