Strong interests

[Shohei79]

How do you talk with other people about your interests? Since my interest are intense/strong I try to feel if people really are interested. Not always sure that I ”succeed”. I feel good when I can spend time with my interest and share it to others. Whats your thoughts on this? Do you join communities with people with similar interests?

 

[AprilR]

I am not sure, i used to have a friend i had similar interests but we drifted away with time. I don't talk with anyone about my interests anymore.

 

[Kisa the tea]

I'm very similar. I don't bring up my interests until much later after getting to know someone well. Although other than this site I only know 3 other people so It's not like there's a ton of people. I've never joined a community of similar interests due to anxiety and not really having a good place for most of my interests. I prefer forums where you can talk about a variety of things.

Even on here though I often feel too scared to say most of my interests or mention them more than very sparingly for fear of them being seen as childish.

 

[Judge]

It seems a frustrating human dynamic. That the more one is interested in something- anything, that the more likely it repels others. Possibly compounded by petty resentments where some simply show disdain for knowing something in great detail that they don't. A difference between a possible interpretation of enlightenment, and infodumping. As if it's a basic, but unwritten "social taboo" to appear too enthusiastic about well...anything. In everyday life I've seen this a lot. Yet at the same time if you attend much of any aspect of higher education, it's predictably the complete opposite. That you have to maintain that level of interest to succeed.

I did once attend such a group for a few years, but I eventually left. Just felt alone surrounded by people with the same interests. The aspect revolving around the interest (plastic modelling) continue to interest me, but the people and their competitive natures not so much. Where participating in contests superseded a basic interest in plastic modelling. And that people created cliques based on their modelling prowess.

As for my primary special interests, they involve political science and history that most people find inherently revolting. So over the years you learn to simply keep it to yourself, other than bumping into an occasional person with similar interests that are not so easily found beyond the doors of academia.

 

[Qoyote]

Even on here though I often feel too scared to say most of my interests or mention them more than very sparingly for fear of them being seen as childish.

I know EXACTLY what you mean but it's okay here, I promise!

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I have rather mundane interests: canoe building, fossil collecting (Trilobites), but those stem from basic engagement in the world, woodworking, paddle sports, Natural History, that there are people interested in some of it that I could engage with them.

 

[Misery]

I dont speak of them in most situations. What's the point? It accomplishes little.

Even on here, where I'm most open about... everything, there's certain interests where, if I do speak of them, it means my guard was down and I need to pay attention more. So in that case I just hope nobody noticed (or cared).

Though even for the interests I'm willing to mention, there's little point in actually talking about them much on here. But I'll mention them sometimes.

IRL though? Hahahaha no. I dont mention them... any of them... period. If directly asked, I'll always immediately try to redirect the conversation to anything else. No exceptions.

 

[Luca]

I obviously mention my interests a lot on here. But in real life, people find my interests and my level of passion for them very off-putting at best, and childish and cringey at worst, so I rarely go into heavy detail about them unless I’m with like-minded people.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I obviously mention my interests a lot on here. But in real life, people find my interests and my level of passion for them very off-putting at best, and childish and cringey at worst, so I rarely go into heavy detail about them unless I’m with like-minded people.

Your passion for your interests is admirable.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

How do you talk with other people about your interests? Since my interest are intense/strong I try to feel if people really are interested. Not always sure that I ”succeed”. I feel good when I can spend time with my interest and share it to others. Whats your thoughts on this? Do you join communities with people with similar interests?

Like you, I love to talk about whatever special interest I have at the time. Like you, I found it extremely rare to find anyone that interested in the topic to actually "light up" with excitement because they too, have the same interest. Most people, in my experience, are interested in other people, not things. Even neurotypicals that are truly knowledgable experts in their field, and can elaborate with great detail when prompted, still tend to focus more upon their interpersonal relationships during everyday conversations.

I don't know about you, but I have made the mistake of trying to make the conversation transition into some aspect of my special interest,...and then begin an educational monologue on the topic. Most, if not all, people don't appreciate that. They will back out of a conversation as quickly and as politely possible.

Now, as you mentioned, the most logical solution to this would be to join a community, organization, or club with the same special interest as you. However, this often presents another potential barrier for the autistic individual,...to be an "active member", you have to actually participate, even meet the group from time to time. So, I have in the past been "active" in powerlifting organizations and meets, autocross and open track events, respiratory care conferences and organizational meetings, etc. Then there are the other special interests that I have that I have enjoyed myself, freshwater aquariums, bonsai, orchids, aroids, caudiciform plants, rockhounding for various fossils and minerals, etc.

 

[Shohei79]

Like you, I love to talk about whatever special interest I have at the time. Like you, I found it extremely rare to find anyone that interested in the topic to actually "light up" with excitement because they too, have the same interest. Most people, in my experience, are interested in other people, not things. Even neurotypicals that are truly knowledgable experts in their field, and can elaborate with great detail when prompted, still tend to focus more upon their interpersonal relationships during everyday conversations.

I don't know about you, but I have made the mistake of trying to make the conversation transition into some aspect of my special interest,...and then begin an educational monologue on the topic. Most, if not all, people don't appreciate that. They will back out of a conversation as quickly and as politely possible.

Now, as you mentioned, the most logical solution to this would be to join a community, organization, or club with the same special interest as you. However, this often presents another potential barrier for the autistic individual,...to be an "active member", you have to actually participate, even meet the group from time to time. So, I have in the past been "active" in powerlifting organizations and meets, autocross and open track events, respiratory care conferences and organizational meetings, etc. Then there are the other special interests that I have that I have enjoyed myself, freshwater aquariums, bonsai, orchids, aroids, caudiciform plants, rockhounding for various fossils and minerals, etc.

Yeah I recognize myself in what you describe. I think I have this instinct to fight to be just me so sometimes if it is worth I explain and talk to make the other person interested. Sometimes it works sometimes not. Still I ve found the better than not ”revealing” myself. I have small groups of people I meet from time to time but I prefer to be alone with my hobbies. Some things I need other people for like boardgames and similar activities.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

The thing about this site thing is you will find others who share your interests.

 

[AdamG]

As for my primary special interests, they involve political science and history that most people find inherently revolting. So over the years you learn to simply keep it to yourself, other than bumping into an occasional person with similar interests that are not so easily found beyond the doors of academia.

I was never good in History class in grade school. I'm great with numbers, and facts, and linking things together. But the tests were always dates, and I can't wrap my head around dates. So never pursued any history or poli-sci in school.
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But I do read a lot, and I am very interested in cycles, and trends. So I don't know if this is political science or not, but I see what is going on now, and relate it to things which happened in the recent and not so recent past, and find the trends. So I pretty much know what is going on politically, and how things will trend in the future.
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I would love to hear your thoughts on these subjects. Maybe another thread?