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Qoyote
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  • Sometimes I feel like my family's the only functioning one in America, seems like everyone I know's at least uncomfortable around their parents
    If you're male they see you as a monster, if you're anything else they see you as prey. Two horrible choices. I want out.
    Qoyote
    Qoyote
    No no I mean gender, edited for clarity
    tree
    tree
    It's not really clarified. Who is "they"?
    maycontainthunder
    maycontainthunder
    Speaking as a man my primary prey is anything in the fridge, cookie jar or left unattended where I can get away with eating it.
    r/autism's teens are fun to watch sometimes. They've already declared both Princess Diana and Liz Truss autistic. I am awaiting Britain's autism revolution with bated breath.
    Accepting the fact that I don't have as much energy as other people and that's okay. I think I'm proactive about improving my life and growing as a person. The fact my 100% is other people's 60-70% doesn't change that.
    I finally realized I'm so desperate for other people because I need someone to tell me it's okay to be myself before I can relax. I forgot how to do it on my own. Glad I know they're related now cause "lookin' for love in too many faces" has a new meaning when you're bi...
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    That's amazing! Figuring out something like this is a major step towards a better, more peaceful life. I'm really happy for you.
    Do you think you'll be able to relax now? Or do you still look for other peoples' company or approval?
    Qoyote
    Qoyote
    It'll take time but I got a therapist last week and she's sending me worksheets so now we can get two birds with one stone.
    Me reading comments/social media all the time to feel connected to people is like those Chinese emperors who drank mercury to be immortal.

    This is the only place that's been even kinda healthy for me.
    Luca
    Luca
    I know I shouldn't read YouTube comments because they just make me hate everyone, but it's hard to avoid reading them. I know what you mean. It's morbid curiosity, plus the need to feel connected.
    At times I have felt like this forum has had toxic moments too but I feel cared for here more than I have anywhere else.
    Silhouette Mirage
    Silhouette Mirage
    I love finding that one YT video where all of the comments are positive and then I get to add one on top... and then the OP is like, "You just made my day! I spent 22 hours on this video!"

    Wholesome bromance
    They're having a dance on the lawn outside my dorm, can't go but club music on real speakers is magical
    You can care about people without sacrificing your entire being for them

    People who've never heard of me want more from me than my own family and friends and it's clear nothing less would satisfy them so why bother

    I can barely get up in the morning and yall think I'm capable of that right now

    Sorry I'm not a hero at 20
    Luca
    Luca
    I know how it feels. You can talk to me about this if it helps
    Qoyote
    Qoyote
    Thank you. I'm doing better now but if you'll still let me next time I spiral I might. It means a lot.
    Luca
    Luca
    Of course I'll let you :) People talking to me is not an inconvenience or a burden whatsoever, so please don't feel like it is, and please reach out if you need help.
    I've borrowed so much trauma from random people since I was 12 I think I'm traumatized myself

    Spirals, meltdowns, that time I almost tried to die, scared of anyone who looks like they might have another story that could happen to me or that I feel responsible for, can barely go to the store sometimes
    Qoyote
    Qoyote
    Scared I'll kill myself once I have to get a real job cause I've heard hundreds and hundreds of horror stories and I'm so terrified it's not sane

    I'm kind to the people around me but I cannot be responsible for everyone's justice and I cannot carry a thousand people's bitterness on my back anymore, someone please let me stop
    Raggamuffin
    Raggamuffin
    There's a lot of books out there on trauma. It might help.
    Luca
    Luca
    @Qoyote I don't know what to say, other than that I feel exactly the same a lot of the time. I obviously have a lot of my own trauma and grief but I feel so sad and scared for other people who have gone through horrible things too. I always want to help.
    Went to r/autism, kids going through the same stuff I went through and I just wanna give these poor babies a hug
    I love when people infodump to me online/texting (not irl) cause I'm lonely and it makes me feel connected to them, doesn't matter what it's about
    Yeshuasdaughter
    Yeshuasdaughter
    Agreed! I love it too.
    Luca
    Luca
    Same here! And I also infodump more than I intend to, oops
    Stuttermabolur
    Stuttermabolur
    @Luca you should keep at it, since that makes people feel more connected to you in turn and you get to share your interests. Win/win ;).
    Once again wondering if I'm immature because I can communicate with my partner and with "adults" things are always too "complicated" to communicate (though the couples in my family don't have that problem, imagine that)
    Silhouette Mirage
    Silhouette Mirage
    You might just have a different way of thinking! I like to think that if 'normalcy' is a linear / straight line, being ND is probably more like a slalom
    I know it's silly but I'm accepting the indie artist who defined my music taste and has had such a huge impact on me growing up wouldn't like me much. Not a good feeling.
    Don't like when satire's so busy being bitter it forgets to be funny

    Tom Lehrer vented about when satire you clap for took over satire you actually laugh at, 100% agree
    Can't take it anymore. My cousin's face got scarred by a cop baton shielding someone else, Is it even possible for us all to live together?
    Qoyote
    Qoyote
    i have so many trans friends, trans family, it was all theoretical before but now god i'm scared
    Luca
    Luca
    I know. I feel the same :( I wish there was something I could really do to fix things for everyone. I’m very angry at the world right now.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    This is a very scary time. Hold on if you can, maybe change will come.
    What's the point of having civil court if everyone you'd want to sue just makes you give up the right or else you go hungry
    Rest in peace Technoblade. People say they don't make them like you anymore but they were wrong. You set an example for us.
    I'm glad people are older here, (most) other young people online are so high-strung and they always want to fight. It's stressful.
    maycontainthunder
    maycontainthunder
    What I've found funny is when you won't get into an argument with them. Some throw all their toys out the pram when they realise they have failed to annoy me. BTW Happy Birthday!
    Bosko
    Bosko
    Not all of us are like that. It’s just a few loud mouth clowns who think too highly of themselves or are self conscious and over compensated
    Guess you can't rely on other groups or cultures to protect you. Gotta be your own.
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