Stimming more intense after diagnosis

[Suzanne]

I think my brain is saying: let loose now lol

I have started to sway back and forwards. Not on a constant basis though and hubby noted it.

 

[Progster]

I have always stimmed quite a lot, both before and after diagnosis. I sit and work in a rocking chair, and rock back and forth when concentrating and thinking, but have other stims too. I pick the skin on my lips or at scabs, or fiddle with my hair or a Rubicks cube I have on my desk. I'm surprised I don't get more comments about it, actually. Perhaps they are just used to me doing it.

After my diagnosis, I stopped trying to be social and fit in or trying to appear 'normal' and 'acceptable'. I stopped forcing myself to join in social activities or speak to people when I don't want to and actually I prefer to be by myself. I no longer felt I 'had' to do these things.

 

[Monachopia]

I think official diagnosis does change behaviour a little bit. There's a subconscious drive to 'fit' the stereotype, I know I started doing things a bit more awkwardly too, I stopped trying to appear 'normal' as much, as I had a reason in my head for not "being able to".

I think you need to assess what is normal for you and what you notice as different and if it's something you need to do or you are reacting to the diagnosis alone. Do the new things you do relieve stress? Has the official diagnosis affected you in any way psychologically? Is it a relief? Or is it something more negative? Maybe the anticipation of it all and finally getting that stamp has caused an anxiety and now that there is no more waiting, the energy is being released in other ways?

I know after my own diagnosis I had a period of 'grief' in a way. It was an official stamp that I was "broken" and I can't fix myself. I went to a dark place with it, even though I know ASD is nothing to be ashamed of! This community helped immensely to deal with that.

In a sense the label took my identity away, everything felt harder. Not everyone feels that way, but that's just how it affected me personally. Now, a year later, I feel like I've returned to a more normal pre-diagnosis self. Not completely, but I lessen the things that would cause unnecessary stress now that I know the reasons for it. I guess I stopped thinking that the ASD label defined who I 'should' be and how I 'should' behave. There is some soul searching that needs to take place, but I do believe everything will settle down for you, take your time and process it.

 

[Ken S.]

My legs have been going all my life. Standing or sitting makes no difference. It has been pointed out to me by others all my life but until I found out what stimming was I never had a clue that is what I was doing.
I also have a habit of touching my fingers to my thumb one at a time back and forth. I see no problem with it.

 

[Pats]

It could be the relief and other things you might be feeling causing you to stem more. With myself, it's that I noticed more. I say that because I'd realize how often I do certain things and I'd mention it to my daughter in law and she'd say I've always done that. Could be the same with you - and your husband noticing could be that it's new or that he's been made aware and just noticing it, too - or making the connection.

 

[Judge]

I sway from side to side if I stand still much of anywhere for very long. Especially if it's in front of my tv set. It's what we do. Who we are. And it's all good.

 

[Autistamatic]

I've always been a stimming fiend, though I used to have to hide it. Legs twitching, muscles flexing under my clothes, unusual finger movements that would go largely unnoticed.
Now I've returned to work, openly autistic, I can stim to my heart's content It's tremendously liberating not having to pretend and I think that feeling for me now has similarities to the post diagnosis "letting go" many people experience when diagnosed in adulthood.
It's good to be yourself after a lifetime of pretending to be someone else

 

[Clueless in Canada]

I'm still waiting for my official diagnosis though I am very confidently self-diagnosed at this point. I have been shamed or corrected for many stims most of my life and when I learned that they were natural to an autistic I felt a sort of defiant pride. It is okay to be me. I shouldn't have to hide and work so hard to mask symptoms. I had a former spouse who was embarrassed by me because I was weird, but I got rid of him. Now I am happily weird and probably lots of people aren't even noticing anyhow. Most people are too busy thinking about themselves.

 

[Nervous Rex]

I think I started stimming a little more after I was unofficially diagnosed and then understood what stimming was. I think it was partially because I started to feel more free to do it because it’s an Autism thing and not just a “Rex is weird” thing - I didn’t feel like I had to hide it so much.

It may have also been perception bias because I had a name for the phenomenon and I just became more aware of all the little behaviors that add up to stimming.

I kinda guess it’s just at the normal level now, but it comes and goes with stress (and other emotions) and my current mental energy and capacity. I do take some measures to hide it when I feel like it will be distracting to the conversation or meeting.

 

[Clueless in Canada]

I did not mean to make it sounds like I murdered my spouse. He is still very much alive.

 

[Weezer]

It has probably not changed. You are simply more aware of it now that you are diagnosed and becoming more educated on these behaviors. Only my opinion.

 

[MeghanWithAnH]

I agree with everything everyone said. For me, it's a combination of recognizing it more and letting myself do it more freely. I've also noticed that I act more autistic when I think or read about ASD. Getting diagnosed made me think about it more often, so I felt like stimming more.

It's not a problem; I just have to find ways to make it work in whatever environment I'm in. I can even intentionally stim to deal with stress or a loss of focus, which is a strategy I didn't even know I had before.