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Something Good

Yes! I just want to share how much my life and my mental health have improved over the past few years.
I’m in a much better place now than I was in 2017-2019, which I had previously considered the “best” years of my life.

That doesn’t mean I no longer need this forum or anything though, since I still don’t have autism support in my irl life (and it’s not highly likely that I ever will.)
I’ve also made a lot of important connections and friendships here (some of which I’m planning on continuing in person) and I feel a real sense of belonging here, and that’s not going to go away now that things have improved. I came here to get support and to be a support for others as well, so I intend to stay and continue that.
Just thought I’d clarify since some people here move on once their offline lives improve. Not ever likely to be the case for me :)

However, my decade-long journey in therapy is a chapter that I will be closing now, at least until I can afford EMDR separately and move on from my traumatic past once and for all. But I have fully developed a sense of self now, I like who I am, I’m confident in my own skin, and I have learned how to cope with negative emotions and triggers instead of internalizing them and getting depressed. I finally feel that I have gotten back total control of my own life.

I have a lot of the people on this forum, past and present, to significantly thank for helping me with my progress. You have shown me what true kindness and friendship are, and given me a safe place to belong (and thrive.) Your continued presence and support in my life will always be valued and appreciated.
In return, I hope that I will always be a helpful support and a compassionate advocate for you all.

I don’t think I ever actually experienced true joy and happiness until I took my life back into my own hands and started writing my own story.
I am no longer just surviving, I am living.
 
I have finished most of my trip planning for an upcoming trip and have started planning for the next trip after that :)

In other news I think I might have found a way to write my thesis around one of my interests and am very excited about that.
 
I am no longer just surviving, I am living.
Yes!!!!

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My wheelchair might be getting fixed in the next couple of weeks. And that means I will be able to go up into the forest once more, and visit my daughter, a couple counties over.
 
I am learning new styles of weaving, thanks to the help of a wonderful friend, who gifted me a few different kinds of portable looms. I've even started a youtube channel. It's nothing fancy at all. But it's fun to do.
 
I was feeling on the edge of sensory overload since this morning, but this hat that I am wearing is having a really strong effect on me. It is so calming and cozy and covers my ears perfectly so that the sound is muffled, but I am not shut out from the world completely. There’s nothing like the simplicity of the perfect hat to make it a great day. Sometimes there is power in the smallest things.

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I am on cat-nurse duty and we have had good day today.=D

He has eaten food, had some stomach movements, and even had water.=D

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I learned to speed warp my vintage 1955 loom, and I used some of the original heddle strings that are nearly 70 years old.

First time ever.
 

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