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Social cues and jealousy

Neonatal RRT

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
My husband does things his way; he decides without asking someone else. I have wondered if he has without the intention of it hurt his parents with his adult decision making, that they have felt left out. He goes his own way. I think more in we-terms and he thinks in I-terms sometimes.
That is more of an anxiety/control thing,...it may be part of the autism condition,...maybe. It may also be cultural. It has ZERO to do with love or inclusivity. "There are no 2 person jobs.",...that's me 100%. I have built engines, I've remodeled homes, done all my vehicle maintenance,...including a handful of suspension rebuilds on different vehicles, transmission work, computer reprogramming,...I have learned how to weld, I even took the electrician's exam at the county courthouse and licensing bureau,...so I could do my own electrical work on the house. I am pathologically independent, extremely detail oriented,...all about doing a much better job than a professional,...even if it takes me 5X longer to do.

I have asked my wife, "Why do my projects include me only,...and your projects include me, as well? Do your own projects." A lack of perspective on my part, but highlights my bias.

Culturally, there are people that simply do not want other people around them when doing jobs,...others are a distraction that one would rather not deal with,...they would rather not have input from others to confuse the issue or possibly cause resistance,...they would rather make a decision and risk failure than have another's input,...or,...in my case, I've already created a vision in my head, thought it over, made a plan,...and don't want to have anyone else influencing it.

My wife always asks me for input,...and most of the time I just yield to whatever she wants. On the other hand,...I almost never ask her. I just DO.
 
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Gerald Wilgus

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
keep that vital connection alive. I am sometimes with someone who is very nonsexual, which l am fine with, however we hang out, share a movie, relax, joke, and voila, date nite.
That is the best advice I have seen about that. The sharing of experience builds depth in the connection, and if you are heading into intimacy then, the sense of being vulnerable with your partner is delicious and exciting.

I had to make changes recently to reinvigorate our connection and we are enjoying things! It is very good for me too.
 
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Aspychata

Serenity waves, beachy vibes
V.I.P Member
That is the best advice I have seen about that. The sharing of experience builds depth in the connection, and if you are heading into intimacy then, the sense of being vulnerable with your partner is delicious and exciting

Especially with us on the forum that have a hard time connecting. I do this automatically, then later l read about doing this in a relationship article of trying new things to help keep the bond between two people. And it can mean a salsa class, a nite at the comedy club, volunteering at the bird sanctuary, biking together to your favorite breakfast place. Even if you do something every other month. It could mean cooking a new recipe together every other week. That's the beauty of the idea. You try different things with no pressure.
 

Gerald Wilgus

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Especially with us on the forum that have a hard time connecting. I do this automatically, then later l read about doing this in a relationship article of trying new things to help keep the bond between two people. And it can mean a salsa class, a nite at the comedy club, volunteering at the bird sanctuary, biking together to your favorite breakfast place. Even if you do something every other month. It could mean cooking a new recipe together every other week. That's the beauty of the idea. You try different things with no pressure.
In another week my spouse and I will be helping with Frankfort's. sanctioned, Iron Man Marathon. After that we will celebrate helping it be for the benefit of the athletes with a brew and pizza at a local microbrewery. What an odd date, but again, shared experiences. And, the next day there will be a dinner for the volunteers, a twofer.

Damn! in a 30 mile radius we have many microbreweries, at least 3 wineries, one meadery, and three distilleries and a smattering of bars out in the tiny country towns with good simple food. My latest find was Totchos . . . Nachos with carnitas and beer cheese on top of fried tater tots with lots of pickled Jalapeño (In sotto voce, plus your best Statin on the side, please). OH, the HORROR: Choices: CHOICES.
 
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Aspychata

Serenity waves, beachy vibes
V.I.P Member
In another week my spouse and I will be helping with Frankfort's. sanctioned, Iron Man Marathon. After that we will celebrate helping it be for the benefit of the athletes with a brew and pizza at a local microbrewery. What an odd date, but again, shared experiences. And, the next day there will be a dinner for the volunteers, a twofer.

Damn! in a 30 mile radius we have many microbreweries, at least 3 wineries, one meadery, and three distilleries and a smattering of bars out in the tiny country towns with good simple food. My latest find was Totchos . . . Nachos with carnitas and beer cheese on top of fried tater tots with lots of pickled Jalapeño (In sotto voce, plus your best Statin on the side, please). OH, the HORROR: Choices: CHOICES.

That sounds exquisite. I have a recipe for tater tots Poutin in my Food Truck Magazine.
 

Aspychata

Serenity waves, beachy vibes
V.I.P Member
In another week my spouse and I will be helping with Frankfort's. sanctioned, Iron Man Marathon. After that we will celebrate helping it be for the benefit of the athletes with a brew and pizza at a local microbrewery. What an odd date, but again, shared experiences. And, the next day there will be a dinner for the volunteers, a twofer.

Damn! in a 30 mile radius we have many microbreweries, at least 3 wineries, one meadery, and three distilleries and a smattering of bars out in the tiny country towns with good simple food. My latest find was Totchos . . . Nachos with carnitas and beer cheese on top of fried tater tots with lots of pickled Jalapeño (In sotto voce, plus your best Statin on the side, please). OH, the HORROR: Choices: CHOICES.

Oops. It's actually a recipe for Wasabi-Avacado Tots. Wasabi Mayo plus Avacado slices + tater tots. And sprinkle black and or white sesame seeds.

This magazine had Truffle-Aioli Fries , truffle salt+ grated Parmigiano reggiano cheese + fresh parsley on top of Fries. They also have mango- lime shredded chicken tacos, l definitely need to make that.
 

Gerald Wilgus

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
That sounds exquisite. I have a recipe for tater tots Poutin in my Food Truck Magazine.
Sounds like a perfect carnival truck food. I could imagine the taste and textures. The Unami from the gravy with the potato flavor of the tots that carries it through with a mash and gravy flavor interspersed with firm, fresh, Cheese curds to introdce a snap to that first bite into those crispy-soft Tots. A treat, fer sure.
 

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