Silly inventions thread

[Mia]

That's what Photoshop is for.

But in real life, so you could go outside

 

[Judge]

But in real life, so you could go outside

So take your laptop with you.

 

[Mia]

So take your laptop with you.

I literally hate laptops, with that stupid flat keyboard and dumb keys in the wrong places. I learned to type on a manual typewriter. No way I'm carting my PC outside with me.

 

[Crossbreed]

..., or your adam's apple too prominent.

How about a choker adorned with baubles of similar size...?

 

[Mia]

How about a choker adorned with baubles of similar size...?

I was thinking more of a turtleneck, and for a small butt you could have pants with a blow up feature.

 

[Judge]

I was thinking more of a turtleneck, and for a small butt you could have pants with a blow up feature.

So just wear camouflage outfits. Hide everything. I mean that's what it was designed for, right?

Though some of Marty McFly's future clothing articles look intriguing. But I don't think I can wait that long for them.

 

[tlc]

My stupid invention would be zero smell sour creme, cottage cheese, and Parm Cheese... Or fortify them with a smell that doesn't already smell like vomit, or some hobo's year old dirty socks... : ) I just gagged a little thinking about it... : )

I seriously thought about that at one time, maybe a year ago. Because I certainly can't be the only who nearly gags at the smell of ketchup, ranch, and other dressings/condiments. Make it look and taste the same, just give it low VOC technology. No loss, it's probably already genetically engineered anyway. I was told almost nobody would buy it.

In the old days it'd be a VHS tape to show you how to set up your VCR. But my father in law at the time got this tool set for Christmas, that required a phillips screwdriver to open.

When I was maybe 4 I thought of turn signals that would come on with the steering wheel. Obviously I had no concept of the rules of the road at that time. But headlights that turn with the wheel, I think did make it on some cars.

When I was a teen in the 90s I saw these cars where half the rear lights flashed with turn signals, and the same lights were brake lights, with other bulbs as nothing but parking lights. I was like why don't they have half brake and half turn (and all parking lights on the dual filament)? Well I learned why, as carmakers started doing it in recent years. It's much more difficult to tell what's going on in that sea of red light.

 

[LucyPurrs]

I want to invent a machine called a burbulator-pisckwellier.

What should it do?

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Cure hiccups
Hiccoughs

 

[Streetwise]

I want to invent a machine called a burbulator-pisckwellier.

What should it do?

allow me to experience relief from trapped wind whenever!!!!! i need it !

 

[LucyPurrs]

allow me to experience relief from trapped wind whenever!!!!! i need it !

what is trapped wind Street? Can't work on that if I don't understand it

 

[Streetwise]

when you digest food the muscles in your small and large intestine move ,its a smooth flowing motion which expels everything including the gas if !!!!the muscles and nerves are damaged the gas becomes trapped and that is trapped wind !!!!!you also can you get that if you eat too quickly as you breathe in too much!!!!!
I have it because of panic disorder and permanently having irritable bowel syndrome .

 

[Gracey]

I want to invent a machine called a burbulator-pisckwellier.

What should it do?

Exploratory diagnostics for the digestive system.

 

[LucyPurrs]

Wow, everyone seems to want a medical device here. I'll have to hire @Bolletje as a consultant,

 

[Progster]

How about a machine to cure migraines? I need one right now.

 

[Gritches]

If we're going for a medical device, it should perform rectal exams without awkwardly apologizing throughout the whole thing.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

I want to invent a machine called a burbulator-pisckwellier.

What should it do?

What did you normally use to burbulate your pisckwelliers before your invention?

And don't you spell it "pisquewellier"?

I'm assuming you mean it's the brother job for a sommelier?
Only with wellies?

Wellington boots for the uninitiated .

Pisque, obviously from old french. Foul,fish smelling.

 

[LucyPurrs]

What did you normally use to burbulate your pisckwelliers before your invention?

And don't you spell it "pisquewellier"? yes, I will agree that is much more elegant a name.

I'm assuming you mean it's the brother job for a sommelier?
Only with wellies?

Wellington boots for the uninitiated .

Pisque, obviously from old french. Foul,fish smelling.

Are you suggesting that it should be a machine, dressed in wellies that takes away smelly fish? Or am I being too literal here.

 

[Streetwise]

What did you normally use to burbulate your pisckwelliers before your invention?

And don't you spell it "pisquewellier"?

I'm assuming you mean it's the brother job for a sommelier?
Only with wellies?

Wellington boots for the uninitiated .

Pisque, obviously from old french. Foul,fish smelling.

definitely a washing machine made by Bosch !The last part of the word sounds Germanic!

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Are you suggesting that it should be a machine, dressed in wellies that takes away smelly fish? Or am I being too literal here.

A sommelier judges wine.
A pisquewellier appraises wellies in a similar manner.