Lately church has been making me feel worse than better. I actually started to watch porn again this weekend and yes I have all the filters like APF in place and sound off.
Just today there was one woman who came up to me last month. She did it again two weeks ago. I thought I could get to know her as she also likes cats. Today it was all for nothing I wanted to talk to her but I saw a wedding ring on her left hand. It made me mentally meltdown after seeing face masks too. I just hope I don't have to meet her husband I think I will just bolt if that happens.
All I know since I been going to church and church groups I been leaving in a worse mood than when I entered. Like the time I thougt I connected to a woman who needed help entering the building for life group. I was talking to her real good then in the group she mentioned a husband. The following week I meet him at church and I had to pretend I liked him. Now he is in lifegroup and talks so much I get a headache. Then I have to hear in group how they meet their spouse and falling in love.
I know it's against God but I don't care. I been having a better mood and spirit after doing yoga. I have good conversations with my teachers and they support me. When I leave I am in a better mood unlike Christianity which puts me in a rotten mood.
Just today there was one woman who came up to me last month. She did it again two weeks ago. I thought I could get to know her as she also likes cats. Today it was all for nothing I wanted to talk to her but I saw a wedding ring on her left hand. It made me mentally meltdown after seeing face masks too. I just hope I don't have to meet her husband I think I will just bolt if that happens.
All I know since I been going to church and church groups I been leaving in a worse mood than when I entered. Like the time I thougt I connected to a woman who needed help entering the building for life group. I was talking to her real good then in the group she mentioned a husband. The following week I meet him at church and I had to pretend I liked him. Now he is in lifegroup and talks so much I get a headache. Then I have to hear in group how they meet their spouse and falling in love.
I know it's against God but I don't care. I been having a better mood and spirit after doing yoga. I have good conversations with my teachers and they support me. When I leave I am in a better mood unlike Christianity which puts me in a rotten mood.