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Should I leave the church?

Tony Ramirez

Tony Ramirez

Single. True friend's.
V.I.P Member
Lately church has been making me feel worse than better. I actually started to watch porn again this weekend and yes I have all the filters like APF in place and sound off.

Just today there was one woman who came up to me last month. She did it again two weeks ago. I thought I could get to know her as she also likes cats. Today it was all for nothing I wanted to talk to her but I saw a wedding ring on her left hand. It made me mentally meltdown after seeing face masks too. I just hope I don't have to meet her husband I think I will just bolt if that happens.

All I know since I been going to church and church groups I been leaving in a worse mood than when I entered. Like the time I thougt I connected to a woman who needed help entering the building for life group. I was talking to her real good then in the group she mentioned a husband. The following week I meet him at church and I had to pretend I liked him. Now he is in lifegroup and talks so much I get a headache. Then I have to hear in group how they meet their spouse and falling in love.

I know it's against God but I don't care. I been having a better mood and spirit after doing yoga. I have good conversations with my teachers and they support me. When I leave I am in a better mood unlike Christianity which puts me in a rotten mood.
 
It doesn't sound like you'd be leaving church or 'abandoning God', really,
since it appears your major goal in attending church is to meet a woman
for the purpose of being in a relationship.

It doesn't seem like it's "Christianity" that puts you in a bad mood.
It's what you tell yourself when you encounter people who are living
their lives in ways that you envy.

Your expectations are different when you attend yoga classes.
 
Then how come yoga is putting me in a better mood? One time I meet a married woman there but it did not bother me as much.

Sorry I just read your last sentence. I understand.
 
Tony Ramirez said:
Then how come yoga is putting me in a better mood? One time I meet a married woman there but it did not bother me as much.
Click to expand...


Possibly because at yoga there's not the emphasis on family units
as there is likely to be in a church.

Isn't yoga about developing as an individual?
 
tree said:
Possibly because at yoga there's not the emphasis on family units
as there is likely to be in a church.

Isn't yoga about developing as an individual?
Click to expand...
It is. The teachers usually always say often "The light in me sees the light in you".
 
I won't tell you to leave or stay at church.

It might help to ask how honest you're being with yourself. And I mean that in the sense of caring for yourself--not judging you. If you're so mad that a new acquaintance is taken, then your anger is not over her. It sounds like you're angry over not getting the relationship you want, which this person can't be held responsible for. You also don't have to be nice to these husbands, since being fake will just create more anger. I think being honest about the situation and true to yourself will create a better outcome.
 
Only you can make that decision for yourself, @Tony Ramirez

I know people often do go to church to connect with others in community and friendship apart from the worshipping aspect, but if your primary or perhaps even sole focus is to meet a woman rather than worship, then you might be in the wrong place for that or you might need to realign your purpose and goal for going to church.

Some people claim to see God, hear God, connect with God, feel close to God, feel loved by God, feel heard by God, see God in all things, etc. Other people have literally none of those experiences even if they've been going to church for many years. Do you feel connected to God when you're at church? Forced or faked belief in God isn't good for anyone. A God that would accept or even require an inauthentic forced or faked belief over no belief at all would be an inauthentic God.
 
Tony Ramirez said:
What I should tell the husband's I don't like you and I am jealous you married her.
Click to expand...

No, because I don't think that's really you either. That response is predicated on the woman owing you something, which she doesn't.

Picture the situation from the outside: what would that response achieve? Imagine their reactions. Then you'll feel differently about it.

I say all this knowing how you feel. I've felt exactly the same in so many situations, and I hated it because it was so ridiculous. But, it isn't who you are.
 
I agree with tree, and I’m not sure you should say anything, but just as a matter of analysis…

Tony Ramirez said:
What I should tell the husband's I don't like you and I am jealous you married her.
Click to expand...
A more neutral way to express the same feelings would be “It is difficult for me to see married couples because I would like to be in a stable relationship, and I have not been successful and creating this.”
 
You can still have God without requiring religion. So you don't need to let such considerations influence your decision.

In hindsight I've always viewed organized religion as largely an expression of fellowship. A great concept for NTs, but perhaps not so much for many on the spectrum who struggle with socialization and communication.
 
It's just I thought I really connected with that woman who came up to me her name is Tanya. I was even thinking about asking her to a coffee hang. We liked the same things but to see that wedding ring really crushed my spirits. I really was not going to talk to her as I know so many married women from church it just makes me more depressed. My personal journal got a handful but I had to express myself here.

Too think I was making good progress now I feel like giving up on God and the church as he is blessing others but not me. I am still going to yoga this week.
 
How do you know that you discovering yoga isn't
a blessing?

It certainly seems to be one, so far.....
 
While the body of Christ is intended to be a complete social diet, so to speak, it only works if you're committed to Christ. Paul cautioned believers,
'Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?' (2Cor 6:14)

Inasmuch as a congregation reflects the wisdom of the Bible, you would expect to be warmly received as a seeker of the Lord, but less so if you come seeking romance. Many of them have seen it before.

Of course, I have to add that my best advice is to keep going to church, but forget the ladies until you work it out with the Lord.
 
The Pandector said:
While the body of Christ is intended to be a complete social diet, so to speak, it only works if you're committed to Christ.
Click to expand...
It's definitely an explanation, a type of gaslighting, that many former believers have heard: "You just didn't try hard enough, weren't committed enough, didn't believe hard enough, didn't ever really believe, relationships are two way streets and you didn't put in enough effort, etc"

What do you mean by "social diet"?
 
I'm feeling better tonight. I went to lent prayer group. At first it was frustrating when a woman there was talking about her boyfriend. After they were all praising God. I said God forsaking me so they all prayed for me.

I was finally able to talk to this woman Kate. At church after service she bolts so fast so I was able to talk to her for a few minutes. I was sweating buckets but I did it.
 
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