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Share good puns and jokes.
- Thread starter Mads
- Start date
Sometimes, when my kids were growing up, I would offer them vegetables as a snack choice from which they would quickly flee.
I call that the phyto-flight response...!
I call that the phyto-flight response...!
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Lecturer: Have you ever considered the names for clothes...?
Audience Member: Before you continue this subject, could you please remove that windbreaker...?
Do we smoke in a smoking jacket?
Do we-
Do we-
Meistersinger
Well-Known Member
A friend of mine from college just received his DMA from the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign. His major instrument is the pipe organ. He is quite the bad punster.
When he stubs his big toe, he usually exclaims “Oh, Swell!”
when something goes wrong, “That’s just Great!”
When someone is dejected(like myself 99.999 per cent of the time), “Think Positif”
when his grandkids start begging for money, “Go Pedal your papers.”
When he stubs his big toe, he usually exclaims “Oh, Swell!”
when something goes wrong, “That’s just Great!”
When someone is dejected(like myself 99.999 per cent of the time), “Think Positif”
when his grandkids start begging for money, “Go Pedal your papers.”
dragonfire42
Perpetual outsider
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants. The bartender asks “What’s that steering wheel doing in your pants?” The pirate replies, “Arr, it’s drivin’ me nuts!”
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
An attorney and his wife decided to adopt a Kishu. Being a Japanese breed of dog, they wanted to give her a name that sounded consistent with her nation of origin. After some time, they finally agreed to a name,...
Sosumi!
I once bred a poodle with a rottweiler.
She wasn't much of a watchdog, but she was a vicious gossip...!
She wasn't much of a watchdog, but she was a vicious gossip...!
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The squirrel activists are going nuts!
Meistersinger
Well-Known Member
Then there’s the refrain to the Advent hymn Gabriel’s message:
Most highly flavored lady. Gloria!
(A little slip of the tongue by a child chorister)
Most highly flavored lady. Gloria!
(A little slip of the tongue by a child chorister)
dragonfire42
Perpetual outsider
Someone decides to get a singing toilet. Upon sitting down on it, the toilet sings “Do you see what I see?”
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