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Seriously, this makes me nuts!

garnetflower13

garnetflower13

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I have an elderly aunt that I periodically phone for a chat. She is pretty nice, usually; except for when she starts on religion. Being a non religious person bordering on atheist, I find it intensely irritating when she starts telling me that God will look out for me, solve my problem, etc. It takes all my self control not to scream at her to stop reciting nonsense at me. And I honestly don't know how to respond without starting an argument or being insulting.

Does this type of thing seriously push anyone else to the brink of crazy?
 
I suppose it would if for some reason I felt obliged to sit through it passively, however I've never done that for very long. I find that most people who want to spout religion at you like that are not prepared to have a rational discussion in which they must provide reason based on something outside of their own doctrine. When they are so prepared I see it as an opportunity to dissuade them of their illusions (occasionally I seem to have made them think), when they are not so prepared they either run away or STFU.

Not necessarily recommending that in your case, as that may produce consequences in your family life that would be undesirable.
 
garnetflower13 said:
I have an elderly aunt that I periodically phone for a chat. She is pretty nice, usually; except for when she starts on religion. Being a non religious person bordering on atheist, I find it intensely irritating when she starts telling me that God will look out for me, solve my problem, etc. It takes all my self control not to scream at her to stop reciting nonsense at me. And I honestly don't know how to respond without starting an argument or being insulting.

Does this type of thing seriously push anyone else to the brink of crazy?
Click to expand...
Tell her you're an atheist, christians are used to being belittled because of what they believe or feeling degraded.
 
You wrote that your aunt is "pretty nice except for when she starts on religion." Is she not nice when she talks about religion? Does the tone of her voice change? Does she suddenly get "not nice" when she switches to that topic? Or is it more that she's still being nice, but you just don't want to discuss religion with her?
 
garnetflower13 said:
I have an elderly aunt that I periodically phone for a chat. She is pretty nice, usually; except for when she starts on religion. Being a non religious person bordering on atheist, I find it intensely irritating when she starts telling me that God will look out for me, solve my problem, etc. It takes all my self control not to scream at her to stop reciting nonsense at me. And I honestly don't know how to respond without starting an argument or being insulting.

Does this type of thing seriously push anyone else to the brink of crazy?
Click to expand...

Tell her you like the other guy.
 
Beguiling Orbit said:
Does the tone of her voice change? Does she suddenly get "not nice" when she switches to that topic? Or is it more that she's still being nice, but you just don't want to discuss religion with her?
Click to expand...

The tone of her voice is irrelevant. Persistently lecturing someone about something that they don't want to be lectured on is not nice. Are con-artists 'nice' ? If someone smiles while punching another person in the face, is that being 'nice'?

Imagine a thread posted by an elderly woman that states that her nephew often calls her, and is usually nice, except that he will persistently tell her that her god does not exist and her beliefs are wrong, she really ought to wake up and accept the world she lives in for what it is. Oh, but he smiles while doing it. Once or twice, maybe he's just trying to improve her life for her. There is a limit beyond which it's not nice however many smiles may accompany it.
 
Don't worry, just look for your answer in the bible, perhaps you doubt God's power for instance? Well here's a link that may help: Bible Answers (verses) to Life Questions

Lol, I'm only joking. I wish this was the "Politics & Religion" forum as I'd have a lot more to say on the subject, but I'm not religious either and I can definitely understand where you are coming from, I have an aunt who is a church warden for instance and I'm sure she looks down at me for never ever going to church. Well I suppose that's not technically true, I've been to a number of church yards to study possible paranormal activity if that counts?

PS: I've had many long debates with Jehovah's Witnesses who have turned up to my door in my past, I think I might be on their blacklist now though lol!
 
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I was raised in a fairly strict judeo/christian family and did the whole Sunday school and church thing growing up. I don't like any sort of organised religion today, but some of my family are still part of that environment and will try to lecture me when I see them. I've just got very good at nodding and smiling and reminding myself that they only do it because from their perspective they believe they are doing something positive for me (much like when I'm hugged by people). It's their way of showing they care, even if I don't agree with their method. I also tend to give elderly people more lenience in general, as I don't know how much longer they will be around.
 
Fridgemagnetman said:
Tell her you like the other guy.
Click to expand...


Two members of the god squad were walking up my driveway to the front of the house whilst I came from the back garden onto my driveway putting the recycling in the blue bin.

They started chatting to me and asked if I believed in god

I said "No, I prefer a scientific explanation for things"

They said " but god created science"

I said "I'll have to go in I have a goat on the alter"
 
Want my honest opinion?

Humor the woman.
Smile and agree,even if it goes against your own beliefs.
It's not like she has any way of knowing you did otherwise.

Take a stance where at her age she feels she has earned the right to give you advice.
That doesn't mean that what she believes is etched in stone for you.

It's all up to you in the end anyway,so do your best to avoid a conflict instead of fueling what you consider a spark and fanning the flames.
 
garnetflower13 said:
I have an elderly aunt that I periodically phone for a chat. She is pretty nice, usually; except for when she starts on religion. Being a non religious person bordering on atheist, I find it intensely irritating when she starts telling me that God will look out for me, solve my problem, etc. It takes all my self control not to scream at her to stop reciting nonsense at me. And I honestly don't know how to respond without starting an argument or being insulting.

Does this type of thing seriously push anyone else to the brink of crazy?
Click to expand...

I feel the same because it feels dismissive. There's been a lot of flooding this year, it wouldn't be very helpful of me to tell these victims that Poseidon will make sure that they don't drown. What's helpful is other humans coming together to help bring people to safety, and provide shelter and food. Anything else is false platitudes, laziness because people can't be bothered to actually try and help in some way. As you can tell, this is a hot button issue for me as well, and I actually chewed out a family member for this a couple weeks ago.
 
Some of you need to back it down a few notches.

Rule # 3 on this forum states:
3. Racial, gender (sexist) and religious hatred/discrimination will not be tolerated.

We have members who are believers of all denominations and non-believers who need to all work together in order for this community to work productively.

 
garnetflower13 said:
Does this type of thing seriously push anyone else to the brink of crazy?
Click to expand...

It used to, although I never said anything to the person. Basically, in order not alienate them I would would say thanks, because it's nice and it's kind that they wish you good things, and then change the subject. Then I would rant to my husband about it, because it was often his mother who said these things. She would tell me the story of how her younger sister had been born without bones, and then one day there was a miracle, and she could walk.

I think whatever gives people hope and peace is good for them. I know that religion gave people I greatly loved, much solace. So whatever works for them, is good.
 
Beguiling Orbit said:
You wrote that your aunt is "pretty nice except for when she starts on religion." Is she not nice when she talks about religion? Does the tone of her voice change? Does she suddenly get "not nice" when she switches to that topic? Or is it more that she's still being nice, but you just don't want to discuss religion with her?
Click to expand...
I meant that she is still nice, but her tone becomes very patronizing and she basically talks over me when she brings her concept of God into the conversation. And for the record, she is not initiating a discussion about religion, more she is loudly declaring that God is in control when IMO he clearly is not.
 
isthisreallife said:
I feel the same because it feels dismissive. There's been a lot of flooding this year, it wouldn't be very helpful of me to tell these victims that Poseidon will make sure that they don't drown. What's helpful is other humans coming together to help bring people to safety, and provide shelter and food. Anything else is false platitudes, laziness because people can't be bothered to actually try and help in some way. As you can tell, this is a hot button issue for me as well, and I actually chewed out a family member for this a couple weeks ago.
Click to expand...
That is why I find it hard to take! Here I am, talking about something that bothers me a lot and she throws these worthless platitudes my way. It is of far more value to me to just be heard! I am glad she gets comfort from her belief system, but that system has done nothing but piss me off. I have many stories inside me that would only hurt or insult her if I shared them, unfortunately! I feel that as an adult, I don't need to be told what to believe in. But I don't say these things because it would only cause hurt feelings.
 
MrSpock said:
The tone of her voice is irrelevant. Persistently lecturing someone about something that they don't want to be lectured on is not nice. Are con-artists 'nice' in your opinion? If I smile while I punch you am I being 'nice'?

Imagine a thread posted by an elderly woman that states that her nephew often calls her, and is usually nice, except that he will persistently tell her that her god does not exist and her beliefs are wrong, she really ought to wake up and accept the world she lives in for what it is. Oh, but he smiles while doing it. Once or twice, maybe he's just trying to improve her life for her. There is a limit beyond which it's not nice however many smiles may accompany it.
Click to expand...
Thanks for the response to my post, @MrSpock. I'll give it some thought.
 
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