seeking advice re my 25-year-old male son

[runforrest]

I would like to support my son and don't know how. He is probably not true Aspergers, or possibly just minimal, because on occasion in a small group he can be engaged and a lot of fun. He's gifted with computers, great at explaining things. He has a terrific dry wit. So on the rare times that he engages with us, it's so much fun. But to a huge degree, he shuts us out. We've come to understand that he prefers to stay up all night with the computer for company, and that he prefers to sleep all day. We understand that he doesn't feel motivated to go to study in college, even though he knows that he needs the degree for financial security.

He left college and began a job. We're very concerned that he won't keep it because of his terrible college record. He's living alone and will not answer our calls. He frequently has little motivation to do the most basic things to take care of himself and his business. He complains that we should just leave him alone, but we have concerns for his physical well-being on top of his mental/emotional.

I think he would love to have a friend or two--someone to watch a movie with, or go to a bar with, or play computer games with. Just some companionship. I say this because he always seems ready to do something when someone else asks him to. But again, he isn't motivated to really even speak to someone new.

Am trying to find an adult Aspergers support group in the North Atlanta area.

Any other suggestions would be appreciated.

 

[Bay]

Gosh, it is difficult to compel an adult to do something he isn't interested in doing. I doubt that this will set your mind at ease, but the best thing you can probably do for him is to make sure he knows that you love him and let him figure out his life for himself. I think it is great that you are looking for a support group for him, and you may want to find one for yourself, if only so that you can meet others who are in a similar place. If you believe that he is capable of harming himself, please call one of the excellent hotlines that are dedicated to this very thing. I hope that you are able to maintain communication with him. We all need our parents, even years after we've left home.