Secondary Negative Reactive Flush

[Aspychata]

So l am trying to be better, period. So reading about double dipping with negativity. Wait, hear me out.

Combo of real world stress and a neurotic temperament resulting when we now develop negative reactions to our negative feelings.

It's the secondary negative reaction to the original negative feelings that can create double dipping or vicious cycle that actually results in depression and generalized anxiety disorder.
Apparently good old Sigmund, last name Freud referred to this as horse and rider. My ex called riding our mule in a circle, the groove gets so deep, you can't get out.

What do you do? Do you ride around obessively obsessed with your negativity?

 

[Fino]

Are you the rider or did you exit the loo???

What does this part mean?

 

[Kyou Nukui]

Ohhhh! Loop!
Took me ages to comprehend that.
Edit: wait it wasn't meant to be loop?

I do feel bad about the bad feelings I get and for being limited in what I have achieved and what things I can handle doing and not pathologically avoid doing or break down while trying to do.

Like dealing with the telephone "help" line that's absurdly paradoxical and impossible to succeed with.. With the angry sounding man at the end of the line who thinks that asking me the same questions in increasingly aggressive tone will help me remember the answers to the two "secret word" questions that were asked out of the blue nine years ago when I was not expecting any such questions!

Why do I feel bad that I can't just deal with it like "everyone else" seems to do, and seem to expect me to do too. Perhaps because, before I knew what I am, I couldn't understand why everyone else couldn't understand why I didn't just get on with it and just deal with it and just get it done and just put up with it and just ignore it and just and just and just...

 

[Aspychata]

What does this part mean?

Tried to clean it up. Hope it makes more sense.

 

[Aspychata]

Ohhhh! Loop!
Took me ages to comprehend that.
Edit: wait it wasn't meant to be loop?

I do feel bad about the bad feelings I get and for being limited in what I have achieved and what things I can handle doing and not pathologically avoid doing or break down while trying to do.

Like dealing with the telephone "help" line that's absurdly paradoxical and impossible to succeed with.. With the angry sounding man at the end of the line who thinks that asking me the same questions in increasingly aggressive tone will help me remember the answers to the two "secret word" questions that were asked out of the blue nine years ago when I was not expecting any such questions!

Why do I feel bad that I can't just deal with it like "everyone else" seems to do, and seem to expect me to do too. Perhaps because, before I knew what I am, I couldn't understand why everyone else couldn't understand why I didn't just get on with it and just deal with it and just get it done and just put up with it and just ignore it and just and just and just...

That's a good point, it's like a bad code software loop in our brain. We just get comfortable, it becomes our normal. But l was surprised that it can result in anxiety and depression. So l am hoping to bring relief and help someone catch this loop thinking like Myself.....

Sad to think that my code is wrong in my brain. It can loop on anything, it's taken me years to figure that this thinking wasn't normal. Thankful to this forum to help me understand this.

 

[GadAbout]

Try not to think about causes and effects when you are feeling bad. Just sit there feeling sad for a while. But no thoughts about deserving it, or what did I do wrong, or here we go again... Just sit and be sad. After a while, that gets boring, so you get up and go for a walk or put on some good music.

One way meditation works is by reminding us to let the intrusive thoughts just flitter by. When you think a thought, you are supposed to notice it but just let it go. "My thoughts are like white clouds floating overhead on a summer's day" is how one teacher put it.

Thinking thoughts, when you are in a bad place, is a guaranteed way to stay in a bad place, or go to an even worse place.

 

[Aspychata]

I am stuck 6 months in a situtation l don't like and l do sit with thoughts. Because on the basic survival needs list, one is very absent in my life and has been absent so l do ruminate. And l try to isolate so that l can deal with whatever l need to deal with. But l try not to get depressed. l just sort of cycle in and out of thoughts. l hit a depressive stint once a year but then l realise my life could be worse if living with a abusive partner.

 

[Fino]

Tried to clean it up. Hope it makes more sense.

I get it now!

And yes, I do that. When I feel anything negative, I tend to obsessively think about how I'm feeling and how to make it go away.

 

[Streetwise]

So l am trying to be better, period. So reading about double dipping with negativity. Wait, hear me out.

Combo of real world stress and a neurotic temperament resulting when we now develop negative reactions to our negative feelings.

It's the secondary negative reaction to the original negative feelings that can create double dipping or vicious cycle that actually results in depression and generalized anxiety disorder.
Apparently good old Sigmund, last name Freud referred to this as horse and rider. My ex called riding our mule in a circle, the groove gets so deep, you can't get out.

What do you do? Do you ride around obessively obsessed with your negativity?

flail !!!!!!!

 

[Thinx]

I have learned to catch myself in this process, definitely finding out about autistic traits or Aspergers was a key for me, as I realised part of what was making me go over and over stuff was the type of brain I have and that pointed me towards making conscious decisions not to do it.

Distraction is a good way out, initially it might be to go out for a walk or to the shop then the exercise and being out and about brings new thoughts and breaks the cycle. Swimming cycling walking exploring and other types of easily accessible doing, works well for me.

 

[SusanLR]

I was always told I ruminated and monitored everything.
I drew a picture for my therapist of a lizard and put the caption on it, " I am a Monitor Lizard!"
Finding out that I have ASD has helped with the do- loop thinking because now I understand
what's behind it.
And that is a real need to me is to understand.
So self knowledge was a help, but, it doesn't take away the feelings.

 

[Aspychata]

Haven't told my therapist about ruims yet. Actually l pushed away my therapist a bit. Struggled with releasing my personal info about myself. I feel unprotected, l feel exposed so l postponed out next meeting. l am going back, but l need to accept and journal.

The last one before this one tried to push me into dating. l am here in your office trying to work on myself- what part of that translates to l want to date? So l have trepidation that this one will do the same. Therapist anxiety now.

 

[Gracey]

...
Apparently good old Sigmund, last name Freud referred to this as horse and rider. My ex called riding our mule in a circle, the groove gets so deep, you can't get out.

What do you do? Do you ride around obessively obsessed with your negativity?

Alter the reigns, direct the mule in a different direction,
Many different directions if this is your wish

Create some new grooves for yourself

 

[BraidedPony]

I was just thinking about this subject, or was I ruminating..
I have improved in avoiding negative thinking about myself, constantly reviewing my faults and ways to improve my miserable self.
Now, I have good days mostly, however almost every day for a few hours i feel sad. Not a deep depression, just sad for no reason that i can discover.
So what I was thinking instead of worrying and fretting over this brief sadness, just acknowledge it, accept it, and stop thinking about it! It feels like the key is to not beat myself up over it, to realize its just the way I am feeling, today, at this particular time.

 

[Gracey]

...

It feels like the key is to not beat myself up over it, to realize its just the way I am feeling, today, at this particular time.

If left alone, (accepted and not poked and prodded)
that sadness may pass as smoothly as it arrived.

In any one day we can experience a great number of moods, feelings and reactions.
Chances are we may only notice the ones we can't justify - or think we have to justify to ourselves.

 

[Gracey]

...Struggled with releasing my personal info about myself. I feel unprotected, l feel exposed so l postponed out next meeting.

Chicken

(I am only pulling your leg)

If we've spent a long time protecting ourselves at all cost,
then trusting a stranger and allowing ourselves to feel completely vulnerable isn't easy.
Not impossible, but not easily done.

Letting them 'in' will get the most out of your time together.

A great therapist wont use any of your fears, doubts, worries and secrets against you.
it's all about trust.

 

[Aspychata]

I have had seriously bad luck with therapists. So l come from that anxiety. It started with college therapist.

 

[Gracey]

I have had seriously bad luck with therapists. So l come from that anxiety. It started with college therapist.

I've wasted time in a room with several therapists who needed to get a job they actually liked too

A few useless therapists don't make ALL therapists rubbish.

To date I've encountered two who validated me and wanted to help,

the rest were rather 'scripty' and hard work.
(my expectations may have been too high though)

 

[AnnMoss]

I know that conversation about medication can create a lot of "right/wrong" debate, but I recently was prescribed a prescription to take as needed (PRN) of lorazepam to help with the overwhelming experiences where I simply can not calm down and move on from ruminations including self flagellation about what I'm doing and thinking "wrong". I use it after roughly an hour past my original upset when I believe the thoughts and feelings are going to disrupt my entire day (possibly days), including disrupting people I become incapable of being calm around. It works like a miracle. I still have feelings, they aren't numbed as I've heard many experience with medications. I just feel rational and can move on. .5 mg. It's said to be addictive so I use it very sparingly when I'm really in trouble or feel a real meltdown could happen. It's actually helped me increase awareness of my experiences in the moment since I'm so terrified of addiction.

For what it's worth.