rude tendencies becoming the norm?

[paloftoon]

Is it becoming common place that when you show interest in someone, they might know they aren't into to you. Instead of just not responding or saying they are not interested, they might ask for something a bit personal making it sound like they are interested like a name, a pic, etc. and then they reply right away that it won't work out or that they are not interested and don't reciprocate on what they asked. Is this becoming commonplace practice?

It's really rude, and maybe even invisibly discriminatory, because I bet they don't do this kind of thing to everyone. . . .

 

[Richelle-H]

I think you might be surprised. The thing is, rudeness is an acquired trait that cannot be turned on and off at will, in my experience. It is openly expressing a complete lack of common courtesy and empathy. I have seen a marked increase in both of these during my lifetime. Many do not even use the words Please and Thank you in their everyday interactions anymore. I cannot attribute that to any one cause for it cuts across many different avenues that one walks along or bypasses completely. It is probably worse on the internet and on cell-phones, but someone cannot simply turn that off as it becomes inured in their way of acting and interacting.

I am sorry that someone had the hubris to treat you so shamefully.

 

[Mr. Stevens]

That is really crappy, paloftoon. I haven't dated in years, but can relate. I've been on dates where people talked a lot about meeting up again, but I never heard back from them. On one, she invited me to hang out with her friends toward the end of the date, then immediately said, "You know, never mind." Which is fine--just weird to act enthusiastic then do an about face.

I agree with Richelle-H: it seems that kind of rudeness is more and more common. I have to wonder if it's a symptom of our point-and-click, customizable, internet culture. We're used to getting things easily and tailored to us, so maybe more people treat the real world this way. There's an intersection in the small town where I work, and I notice more and more people just roll through without stopping. My first thought is they are used to the instant rewards of online interaction, and start to view life this way. Whatever the cause, it's pretty infuriating. But, in a world of constant transaction, where everyone is a product selling themselves for subscribers, and we ignore ecological disaster, how many find reward in doing the right thing?

 

[paloftoon]

It was at least 2 people very recently, but maybe 3-5. I haven't been keeping count. Too much in my life going on.

 

[paloftoon]

One friend had a good piece advice about this:

I actually should be grateful that people are showing their true colors now.

(sigh). . .

 

[Judge]

Is it becoming common place that when you show interest in someone, they might know they aren't into to you. Instead of just not responding or saying they are not interested, they might ask for something a bit personal making it sound like they are interested like a name, a pic, etc. and then they reply right away that it won't work out or that they are not interested and don't reciprocate on what they asked. Is this becoming commonplace practice?

It's really rude, and maybe even invisibly discriminatory, because I bet they don't do this kind of thing to everyone. . . .

I've always thought that subterfuge was a relatively common aspect of dating.

As I've mentioned before, the teenage girl who was my friend's sister. Where each time the phone rang she'd make a mad dash for the phone which was downstairs at the end of the stairwell. Then when she'd gotten to the phone, instead of answering it, she'd let it ring, and ring and ring some more. Then usually respond with an impression of being uninterested. - Circa 1965.

Making dating something between a social ritual and a game to be played with winners and losers.

-No thanks.

 

[paloftoon]

I wish the world has not become so cruel in a way.

 

[Judge]

I wish the world has not become so cruel in a way.

It was always this way. -"The more things change, the more they stay the same".