Roy pryer
Active Member
I totally agree with you babe!Any man who uses the terms 'babe' and 'darling' need to be avoided at all costs. They are embarrassing and total dinosaurs.
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I totally agree with you babe!Any man who uses the terms 'babe' and 'darling' need to be avoided at all costs. They are embarrassing and total dinosaurs.
I totally agree with you babe!
There is not a fine line here - what she described is harassment, regardless of whether some intend it to be or not. If you are talking about some other hypothetical situation not described here, and you have general wishes for the OP about not thinking all men are jerks, there is no point in addressing your opinions as a response to my message. And frankly, the OP said nothing about being prejudiced against all men, so I still think there's no relevance to this thread. But address your comments directly to her so as to avoid confusion.I agree with most of what you've said and from my first comment I agreed that what is going on is totally wrong and is sexual harassment.
There's also a fine line between someone giving the chase thinking that a women might just be hard to get and sexual harassment, I agree that it sounds like most men here are treating her like an object, but there could also be men who wrongfully think they might eventually win her affection if they keep chasing too or worse a man could get tarred with the same brush by simply politely asking the op out once. It is important that she makes it absolutely clear that she is not interested and never will be to every man that makes any sort of unwanted advance, then if they continue after that it is sexual harassment. I say there's a fine line because my late Nan was also hard to get, my Grandad had to ask her out on multiple occasions and she wasn't interested at first, after he gave chase for a good while she reluctantly agreed to go out on a single date, but she got cold feet and didn't turn up after speaking to her friends telling them that she didn't think she liked him. My Grandad still didn't give up and after chasing for a while longer my Nan eventually reluctantly agreed to go out once again and this time she turned up, even though she didn't appear to like my Grandad at first, things went very well on the date and she fell in love with him. They were happily married for over 60 years until death did them part. My point is was my Grandad sexually harassing my Nan? That's where there's a fine line.
It would also be a great shame if the op started believing that all men are "b*s***ds" and ends up hating all men because of these bad experiences, some men really are "b*s***ds" yes and the one's that are sexually harassing now definitely appear to be, also it's true that some men do only act with one interest and see women as purely objects and/or "meat", but not all men are like this and maybe one day the op will be asked out by a genuinely nice caring man that she does like. I'm just saying that if/when that days comes I hope the op doesn't then strongly reject him simply because of bad past experiences with other men and then later regrets it.
I'm afraid it is my nature to look at both sides of most situations even if the vast majority of people only look at one side and agree with it. I have however repeatedly agreed that there is harassment going on from the start and also that it is unacceptable, but what if someone was genuinely interested and decided to pluck up the courage to ask her out? Just asking someone out once is not really harassment unless it has already been made absolutely clear by her not to, although it shouldn't really be done in works time, but in this situation they'd probably get tarred with the same brush as another person who is harassing because they have added to the ongoing issue and if like my grandad a man then decided to chase believing that they might still have a chance in future they would definitely be considered as harassing and I agree that they would be, but that's why there can be a fine line because there are also many situations where women appear hard to get and yet by chasing they both end up in a loving relationship even when the women didn't at first believe that this would happen. In nature males more often than not do the chasing, sometimes the female rejects, but by persisting and often by showing off their assets they sometimes still get to mate while on other occasions the female will always refuse them to mate, humans are animals too and we also have basic animal instincts, even though we often try to act high and mighty that we're much better than everything else. Edit: Humans are often expected to override many animal instincts to be acceptable in modern society, but they're still there and often still show.There is not a fine line here - what she described is harassment, regardless of whether some intend it to be or not. If you are talking about some other hypothetical situation not described here, and you have general wishes for the OP about not thinking all men are jerks, there is no point in addressing your opinions as a response to my message. And frankly, the OP said nothing about being prejudiced against all men, so I still think there's no relevance to this thread. But address your comments directly to her so as to avoid confusion.
That's all fine and good - but why are you introducing totally new things into the thread? And addressing them towards me? Your "But what if...?" That is totally hypothetical - and there are as many hypotheticals that could be introduced here as there are people reading this thread. To me, that is really pointless. It's a tangent. You can bring that up with the OP if she wants to consider that tangent, but you are describing a very different scenario than the one she is describing - one that has not even happened, that has no basis in the reality of at she even asked about.I'm afraid it is my nature to look at both sides of most situations even if the vast majority of people only look at one side and agree with it. I have however repeatedly agreed that there is harassment going on from the start and also that it is unacceptable, but what if someone was genuinely interested and decided to pluck up the courage to ask her out? Just asking someone out once is not really harassment unless it has already been made absolutely clear by her not to, although it shouldn't really be done in works time, but in this situation they'd probably get tarred with the same brush as another person who is harassing because they have added to the ongoing issue and if like my grandad a man then decided to chase believing that they might still have a chance in future they would definitely be considered as harassing and I agree that they would be, but that's why there can be a fine line because there are also many situations where women appear hard to get and yet by chasing they both end up in a loving relationship even when the women didn't at first believe that this would happen. In nature males more often than not do the chasing, sometimes the female rejects, but by persisting and often by showing off their assets they sometimes still get to mate while on other occasions the female will always to refuse them to mate, humans are animals too and we also have basic animal instincts, even though we often try to act high and mighty that we're much better than everything else.
The op might not have said anything about being prejudiced against all men directly, but if lots of men keep harassing her that is a very possible and probably even a likely outcome, I also got the vibe that this might already have happened by most definitely not being interested in anyone full stop from the very start, if the op wants keep away from all possible love interests then that is her right and men should respect that, but it is also against our prime natural instinct which is to "survive" so I also suspect there maybe more to this, E.g. past hurts or other complex issues, I however hope that saying this won't dig things up that will upset the op and that's why up until now I've been skating around the subject including replying to you instead.
I would also like to mention that it is virtually always assumed that it's only women that are sexually assaulted or abused, where in any campaign, E.g. the "Me Too" movement, does it mention about men who could be victims? Also virtually all support networks are there only to help women while automatically presuming men are always guilty, in many support services men wouldn't even be welcome on the premises let alone to get support entirely because they're male, E.g. we don't want men anywhere near the premises as they could upset the women victims. It might not be as common, but men can be sexually harassed and/or abused too, there is also other types of abuse like domestic violence where men can be victims too (I was a victim, yet when neighbours complained about the noise when I WAS ATTACKED more than once, I was the one who got a domestic violence warning letter from the police entirely because I was male and it was automatically assumed that I was beating up a woman without any investigation what-so-ever), but understandably men are usually frightened to ever come forward as they feel they won't be taken seriously or believed, E.g. a man is sexually assaulted, he reports it to the police, but the woman who assaulted him says, "no, he assaulted me" in her defence, the VICTIM then gets arrested while the woman perpetrator gets comfort and sympathy entirely because she is a women and he is a man because the police automatically presume the man is the guilty one along with virtually everyone else often including the courts and jury. I am straight, but another possible issue that I don't see addressed is gay men or even men who aren't gay who can also receive sexual harassment or abuse from other gay men, again because the victim is male will they ever dare to come forward without fearing that they won't be treated seriously and fairly? Since in this situation only males are involved both sides will probably be believed equally, but a man probably still won't be treated as seriously as a woman would be and again all support networks and campaigns only appear to be supporting women.Interesting to note that Time Magazine has designated the "Me Too" Movement as their "Person of the Year". Women ARE being heard.
Though whether those men who lack such self control will heed this message is anyone's guess.
In the meantime, look at all the prominent names in entertainment and politics who have more or less been ruined by their own indiscretions. With no doubt many more such names to follow in the near future.
I would also like to mention that it is virtually always assumed that it's only women that are sexually assaulted or abused, where in any campaign, E.g. the "Me Too" movement, does it mention about men who could be victims?
gay men or even men who aren't gay who can also receive sexual harassment or abuse from other gay men
E.g. a man is sexually assaulted, he reports it to the police, but the woman who assaulted him says, "no, he assaulted me" in her defence