StopDiagnosingPeople
Active Member
I have really thought about this a lot.
Many people say they do not want to be cured or that it would be changing who they are. Many people say that it's a condition not a disease or that they are looking for understanding and not treatment...
Well, good for them. You have every right to feel that way and nobody should force a cure on you...
But ever since I was diagnosed with autism my life has been a living hell. I hate myself. I look in the mirror and see a monster. I am not even disabled or severely autistic at all, yet still, I cannot trust myself nor can I love myself. I look at others and keep wondering "What if they know? What if they saw someone or someone told them?" As a result I feel a constant sense of shame wherever I go.
Being on the spectrum, to me, means I can never be sure that I am aware of the depth of humanity and the beauty of society that I will never live up to the standards I set for myself. I will never have the life I want or be the person I wish to be. I'm someone else. I'm not what I set out to make of myself.
Other personality traits can be modified. IF you feel you are too judgemental, too impulsive, too intolerant... you can make it a point to change that about yourself and work on being a better person.
But autism? No. It's there. You can beg and cry and pray. You will always be autistic.
But when I am down, at the lowest of my low points I turn my thoughts to neuroscience: it's advancing rapidly. Elon Musk has announced a brain-compter interface in the works. FMRI systems are improving. Our ability to study brain cells in vitro is better than it's ever been. Genetic engineering and gene science is rewriting how we look at biology.
So... maybe there is hope.
I believe I may have one thing that could make it possible to cure me: I am willing to receive any amount of collateral damage in the process. If I were told that my autistic traits could be gone, but it would require massive brain operations, and in the process I'd lose much of my intelligence, I'd become paralyzed, I'd lose emotional control or balance or vision.... that would be worth it.
I appreciate some people are okay with being autistic. Good for you. Be happy
I have but one goal in life. To wipe out any and all autistic traits that I have. I'm less than 40. Maybe in my life, this will happen? Could it happen? Is there hope?
I think this hope is the only thing that allows me to move forward one day at a time.
Again, if this is not you and you can say "I love who I am" then great. More power to you. But the cure should be pushed forward for those like myself, who feel they will live a life that should never have been and die a self-perceived monster.
So seriously, to those who follow the developments, is there hope?
Many people say they do not want to be cured or that it would be changing who they are. Many people say that it's a condition not a disease or that they are looking for understanding and not treatment...
Well, good for them. You have every right to feel that way and nobody should force a cure on you...
But ever since I was diagnosed with autism my life has been a living hell. I hate myself. I look in the mirror and see a monster. I am not even disabled or severely autistic at all, yet still, I cannot trust myself nor can I love myself. I look at others and keep wondering "What if they know? What if they saw someone or someone told them?" As a result I feel a constant sense of shame wherever I go.
Being on the spectrum, to me, means I can never be sure that I am aware of the depth of humanity and the beauty of society that I will never live up to the standards I set for myself. I will never have the life I want or be the person I wish to be. I'm someone else. I'm not what I set out to make of myself.
Other personality traits can be modified. IF you feel you are too judgemental, too impulsive, too intolerant... you can make it a point to change that about yourself and work on being a better person.
But autism? No. It's there. You can beg and cry and pray. You will always be autistic.
But when I am down, at the lowest of my low points I turn my thoughts to neuroscience: it's advancing rapidly. Elon Musk has announced a brain-compter interface in the works. FMRI systems are improving. Our ability to study brain cells in vitro is better than it's ever been. Genetic engineering and gene science is rewriting how we look at biology.
So... maybe there is hope.
I believe I may have one thing that could make it possible to cure me: I am willing to receive any amount of collateral damage in the process. If I were told that my autistic traits could be gone, but it would require massive brain operations, and in the process I'd lose much of my intelligence, I'd become paralyzed, I'd lose emotional control or balance or vision.... that would be worth it.
I appreciate some people are okay with being autistic. Good for you. Be happy
I have but one goal in life. To wipe out any and all autistic traits that I have. I'm less than 40. Maybe in my life, this will happen? Could it happen? Is there hope?
I think this hope is the only thing that allows me to move forward one day at a time.
Again, if this is not you and you can say "I love who I am" then great. More power to you. But the cure should be pushed forward for those like myself, who feel they will live a life that should never have been and die a self-perceived monster.
So seriously, to those who follow the developments, is there hope?