Question why I should feel empathy and remorse to my former bullies.

[Oz67]

Does having a history of sadistic revenge against my former bullies a form of psychopathy or sociopathy? I have no empathy and remorse for people who made fun of me for having Autism Spectrum disorder and Specific Learning disorder.

Why should I feel empathy and remorse to people who made fun of me in the past and called me “Stupid”, “Loser” and “Idiot” for having Autism Spectrum Disorder and Specific Learning Disorder?

I do have empathy and remorse, but only to people who are polite to me.

I don’t have empathy and remorse for bullies, they lost my trust, I felt gaslighted and I feel damaged on the inside. I stopped learning all together, because I had a delusion from my former bullies, that I will never learn, but they are wrong and I am learning, but much slower than usual.


I am smart enough not to act on my thoughts of revenge, because I don’t want to be incarcerated for a long time, it would be a very stupid to make that risk.


I am sorry, I don’t mean to sound like I have Antisocial Personality Disorder. I feel bad!

I feel like I developed undiagnosed Unspecified Personality Disorder after all that. I have been holding my anger about it by far too long and have some symptoms of venerable narcissism and envy others that are better than me.

 

[Storm Hess]

Does having a history of sadistic revenge against my former bullies a form of psychopathy or sociopathy? I have no empathy and remorse for people who made fun of me for having Autism Spectrum disorder and Specific Learning disorder.

Why should I feel empathy and remorse to people who made fun of me in the past and called me “Stupid”, “Loser” and “Idiot” for having Autism Spectrum Disorder and Specific Learning Disorder?

I do have empathy and remorse, but only to people who are polite to me.

I don’t have empathy and remorse for bullies, they lost my trust, I felt gaslighted and I feel damaged on the inside. I stopped learning all together, because I had a delusion from my former bullies, that I will never learn, but they are wrong and I am learning, but much slower than usual.


I am smart enough not to act on my thoughts of revenge, because I don’t want to be incarcerated for a long time, it would be a very stupid to make that risk.


I am sorry, I don’t mean to sound like I have Antisocial Personality Disorder. I feel bad!

I feel like I developed undiagnosed Unspecified Personality Disorder after all that. I have been holding my anger about it by far too long and have some symptoms of venerable narcissism and envy others that are better than me.

I do not have empathy or forgiveness for those who have 'wronged me' when I have done nothing to provoke such an action.

I am still here regardless of their stupidity. Whilst they waste away in a past that will never return, I shall move forward.

 

[Thinx]

Does having a history of sadistic revenge against my former bullies a form of psychopathy or sociopathy? I have no empathy and remorse for people who made fun of me for having Autism Spectrum disorder and Specific Learning disorder.

Why should I feel empathy and remorse to people who made fun of me in the past and called me “Stupid”, “Loser” and “Idiot” for having Autism Spectrum Disorder and Specific Learning Disorder?

I do have empathy and remorse, but only to people who are polite to me.

I don’t have empathy and remorse for bullies, they lost my trust, I felt gaslighted and I feel damaged on the inside. I stopped learning all together, because I had a delusion from my former bullies, that I will never learn, but they are wrong and I am learning, but much slower than usual.


I am smart enough not to act on my thoughts of revenge, because I don’t want to be incarcerated for a long time, it would be a very stupid to make that risk.


I am sorry, I don’t mean to sound like I have Antisocial Personality Disorder. I feel bad!

I feel like I developed undiagnosed Unspecified Personality Disorder after all that. I have been holding my anger about it by far too long and have some symptoms of venerable narcissism and envy others that are better than me.

Thoughts of revenge are very different from taking any actions, it's understandable you would feel that way, I feel sorry these mean people caused you to be stressed and upset, and sounds like it affected your learning, but also that you are starting to feel you can learn again.

Hopefully you won't have to see or spend any time with those bullies again? They are ignorant and you don't have to empathise with them, just hopefully you'll be able to forget them, and move on with your life and your learning.

 

[Oz67]

It's hard to move on with my life, not impossible, but I need therapy to help myself to reach those goals.

 

[AprilR]

No, it's normal to think badly of people who bullied you. You are not a messiah, you don't have to forgive people who wronged you.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Does having a history of sadistic revenge against my former bullies a form of psychopathy or sociopathy? I have no empathy and remorse for people who made fun of me for having Autism Spectrum disorder and Specific Learning disorder.

Why should I feel empathy and remorse to people who made fun of me in the past and called me “Stupid”, “Loser” and “Idiot” for having Autism Spectrum Disorder and Specific Learning Disorder?

I do have empathy and remorse, but only to people who are polite to me.

I don’t have empathy and remorse for bullies, they lost my trust, I felt gaslighted and I feel damaged on the inside. I stopped learning all together, because I had a delusion from my former bullies, that I will never learn, but they are wrong and I am learning, but much slower than usual.


I am smart enough not to act on my thoughts of revenge, because I don’t want to be incarcerated for a long time, it would be a very stupid to make that risk.


I am sorry, I don’t mean to sound like I have Antisocial Personality Disorder. I feel bad!

I feel like I developed undiagnosed Unspecified Personality Disorder after all that. I have been holding my anger about it by far too long and have some symptoms of venerable narcissism and envy others that are better than me.

I think what you are feeling is natural. These events triggering your emotional centers,...and one thing is for sure, take any memory and tie it with a strong emotion, and it will stick with you for years,...like, you won't ever forget it. These events heavily influence your personal truths,...your thoughts and actions. However, in your mind's eye,...if you step back from yourself and let your logic and reasoning centers take over,...you will understand this was YOUR experience,...as crappy as it was,...it was yours,...and may not be representative of what others, as a whole, have experienced. Your experience IS very real even if it doesn't represent the majority. Never-the-less, this "payback" ideology is a real thing,...and natural. Plenty of Hollywood movies have this as a main story plot,...revenge.

However, there is also this ideology that having these thoughts only hurt you. An example of the opposite reaction might be a family openly and publicly forgiving the person who murdered one of their family members. The first time I saw this, I couldn't understand,...I thought it was weak. Later, I found it to be the strongest thing you could possibly do for yourself,...not let that event fill your soul with hate. By stopping the cycle of hate,...that's an incredible thing. It's so easy to have a revenge mentality,...either you're going to act on it,...and someone else is going to take revenge back on you,...or you don't act on it,...and it eats up your soul.

I am thinking,...at least from your posts,...you're a pretty introspective person. You think about these things,...a lot. It's a sign of high intelligence if you can do this,...having this inner voice. This idea that some people are "better than you",...I might be a bit more specific with this. One of the hallmarks of autism is asymmetrical intelligences,...so be careful how you judge other people and yourself,...as you may be "better than them" in specific areas. Don't underestimate your self worth.

 

[Oz67]

I think what you are feeling is natural. These events triggering your emotional centers,...and one thing is for sure, take any memory and tie it with a strong emotion, and it will stick with you for years,...like, you won't ever forget it. These events heavily influence your personal truths,...your thoughts and actions. However, in your mind's eye,...if you step back from yourself and let your logic and reasoning centers take over,...you will understand this was YOUR experience,...as crappy as it was,...it was yours,...and may not be representative of what others, as a whole, have experienced. Your experience IS very real even if it doesn't represent the majority. Never-the-less, this "payback" ideology is a real thing,...and natural. Plenty of Hollywood movies have this as a main story plot,...revenge.

However, there is also this ideology that having these thoughts only hurt you. An example of the opposite reaction might be a family openly and publicly forgiving the person who murdered one of their family members. The first time I saw this, I couldn't understand,...I thought it was weak. Later, I found it to be the strongest thing you could possibly do for yourself,...not let that event fill your soul with hate. By stopping the cycle of hate,...that's an incredible thing. It's so easy to have a revenge mentality,...either you're going to act on it,...and someone else is going to take revenge back on you,...or you don't act on it,...and it eats up your soul.

I am thinking,...at least from your posts,...you're a pretty introspective person. You think about these things,...a lot. It's a sign of high intelligence if you can do this,...having this inner voice. This idea that some people are "better than you",...I might be a bit more specific with this. One of the hallmarks of autism is asymmetrical intelligences,...so be careful how you judge other people and yourself,...as you may be "better than them" in specific areas. Don't underestimate your self worth.

You are right! I am sorry!

I need help and therapy. Thank you!