Processing My Assessment Results

[Clueless in Canada]

It has taken me awhile to process my assessment results and I have read and re-read the written report, probably fixating on it too much. I know my thoughts are not rational or logical because I am both disturbed by wording that sounds critical and negative and yet also annoyed because I think the scope of my difficulties is undermined by terms like 'mild' 'high-functioning' and 'aspie'.

I am alternating between days of feeling pretty good and days of being exhausted, overwhelmed and mainly shut down. Is my reaction fairly typical for an ASD1 and ADHD with severe anxiety diagnosis?

I think the psychologist did say she was worried I would perseverate and I'm annoyed that she was right.

 

[sybok]

I believe the term "high functioning" is often misunderstood. It simply means, correct me if I'm wrong, that the person assessed has an IQ over 70. So it's high functioning, or mild, in comparison to someone below that and who may not possess complex language skills.

I don't know how typical your reaction is. ASD1 is equivalent to what was Aspergers. I'm sure you will get some supporting responses.

I do not consider myself a typical anything. But we do tend read and interpret things quite literally, often missing the authors naturally nuanced intentions.

 

[Buzzerfly]

I consider myself neurodiverse, don’t have a diagnosis. My experience is quite similar to yours. I have no control over the changes from day to day (they aren’t mood swings).

my anxiety has tripled since moving back to the USA from Canada. I now have occasional panic attacks/heartaches.

I attribute a good deal of this to the state of the world filtering down into my life, plus the responsibility of protecting my family.

still, I could use a female friend who treads on common ground.

as far as psychiatric evaluations go, take what you need from it, then make your own observations. Clearly, there is a gap between NT understanding and what autism actually is. Begin an exploration!

 

[Thinx]

It's the 'severe anxiety ' that stands out for me, and I imagine that's developed over years of confusion and masking, trying to fit in and feeling misunderstood. However, now you have some explanation for all that, and can develop strategies around how you are.

Having a different brain means, some of how you are is not subject to being worked on, but it can be helped by adaptive strategies. Gradually get a feel for what this means, this won't be overnight but over time. Read stuff by and about Aspies. There are masses of us out here who were never diagnosed and muddled through, and for whom understanding what the issues are helps us relax on some fronts and think up strategies on other fronts.

Maybe read about anxiety and it's effects too, and find some further strategies that may work for you. Also, the exact words they used in your report are just words, the way you are trying to wring massive intent and meaning out of them is fruitless; you are who you have always been, so all you need to do is work out how knowing this is useful to you.

 

[Clueless in Canada]

Thanks for the replies so far! I have read a great deal and know quite a bit about the subjects of all my diagnoses. I think I am getting stuck on wanting to correct the psychologist and tell her that the high-functioning label is ******** or that it isn't actually helpful to me to talk about anything being mild. I am obsessing over what I think SHE doesn't know rather than what I don't know. I know it is weird but people being 'wrong' can really get me upset. I have to work very hard to deal with that.

 

[sybok]

Mild isn't a helpful word. Especially when talking about a life time of struggle. There is nothing mild about it. High functioning is also confusing. I think that's why I like a term like Asperger's. It seems to me a term like that gives people something to connect with and connect to others with.

But now it feels like you have to explain everything every time, or even justify things all the time.

Even so, I do not believe the terms "Mild" and "High Functioning" are meant to refer to your subjective experiences. Rather, they place us in juxtaposition to our friends on the spectrum who cannot develop language or even basic social skills. High functioning may even mean that certain interventions, such as counselling and CBT, may actually be useful to us.

 

[Chrysanthemum]

It has taken me awhile to process my assessment results and I have read and re-read the written report, probably fixating on it too much. I know my thoughts are not rational or logical because I am both disturbed by wording that sounds critical and negative and yet also annoyed because I think the scope of my difficulties is undermined by terms like 'mild' 'high-functioning' and 'aspie'.

I am alternating between days of feeling pretty good and days of being exhausted, overwhelmed and mainly shut down. Is my reaction fairly typical for an ASD1 and ADHD with severe anxiety diagnosis?

I think the psychologist did say she was worried I would perseverate and I'm annoyed that she was right.

Here are just my opinions:

1. Sometimes, other people may give us a more objective view of ourselves than we may have ourselves; on the other hand, sometimes other people may not know our "full story" or misinterpret the meaning of an action in the context of something, so not give a fully accurate picture. However, I could understand why you may be irritated with words such as "mild" or "high functioning".
2. I think that really, any kind of emotion in response to something like that is fine.
3. For me, I feel that perhaps more important than what was stated in the assessments I had (in childhood/adolescence), was "where to go from here" (not just based on the assessments but also based on observations of parents and teachers etc).
4. In terms of what seems to be "predictions" (I'm not saying that those were implied to you or stated to you after your assessments because I don't know if they were), no one can really predict anything, especially not just one person who only ever saw you for a short time.
5. I would not be surprised at all if many people go through a similar process after receiving a diagnosis of any sort.

Of course, these are just my opinions.

As for whether your reaction is fairly typical for someone with the same diagnoses you have, I can't answer that because I don't know, but I think it is a perfectly normal and fine reaction, and that there's nothing wrong with such a reaction at all.

 

[tducey]

My case is mild as well. It really does leave you between a rock and a hard place. You're able to do things for yourself but still can't get the support that you need. To me we all should have access to the same services, no matter our IQ.