Problem with someone touching you.

[OrdinaryCitizen]

I have read on this forum and also heard from few people mention that they have problem with people touching them.

I'd like to know what exactly you feel and when it started and did how did you get over it?

Its same feeling when stranger touches your what about someone you trust like close friend / relative / boyfriend?

One person told me that she is afraid of people touching her any any way like even trough jacket and she feels something like fear of spiders or spiders crawling on her.

 

[Aspychata]

I can be upset but l have learned to filter and not respond, though l do call people on it. My body is my personal space.

 

[Illkurok]

My personal space is double the size of an average person, even someone sitting within a few feet of me can be too much sometimes.

As far as being touched, I really don't even like it much from a significant other. My loath of touch started as a child. I always wanted to be left alone and yet people would still bother me. I always flinch anytime someone touches me, even if it's just a accidental graze from a shoulder.

I don't think it will ever be something I outgrow. It is a defensive mechanism as much of something I don't like.

 

[Fino]

1. I've always described it as a burning, but it's more of a hard to define terrible discomfort in the area touched which gives me the overwhelming urge to rub the spot as if injured.

2. It's been that way as long as I can remember, and I haven't gotten over it. Or maybe it started after I had been hit hundreds of times, I actually can't remember.

3. It's okay if a few certain close friends touch me but no one else.

 

[Judge]

Never "got over with it". I've always maintained various comfort levels based on who is doing the touching.

Though in the case of total strangers, I don't like them to touch me at all. Conversely those such as a girlfriend can touch me at any time in any way and I won't object. Close friends and relatives....sometimes it depends.

 

[Streetwise]

I have read on this forum and also heard from few people mention that they have problem with people touching them.

I'd like to know what exactly you feel and when it started and did how did you get over it?

Its same feeling when stranger touches your what about someone you trust like close friend / relative / boyfriend?

One person told me that she is afraid of people touching her any any way like even trough jacket and she feels something like fear of spiders or spiders crawling on her.

I start to feel the first symptoms of a panic attack hyperventilation then I want to vomit

 

[GadAbout]

I dislike strangers touching me, although I can usually deal with it.

One thing I really dislike though is someone coming up behind me, or just standing behind me. If I'm on computer, like now, I become self-conscious they can read my activities. Yesterday my husband came up behind me to hand me a scrap of paper to my trash bag as I was tying it shut. I scolded him. (But we never stay mad long.)

 

[paloftoon]

I don't like strangers touching me unless I think they are hot (for a cheap feel, yeah, lol) and I feel like they are okay with me touching them back.

 

[SimplyWandering]

I don’t like being touched by strangers. Unless they are attractive, then they can touch me.

I get very upset/uncomfortable when being touched by those I don’t know. Even if the person is in a relationship with me, I have body parts I don’t like being touched, because it is physically painful!

 

[Crossbreed]

I have three levels of touch:

1. Affectionate: friendly touch from people who are appropriately close. I crave this kind of touch (so does my ASD3 daughter).
2. Necessary/incidental: touch that makes sense in their circumstances. Doctor, sports, assistance (like steadying you if you lost your balance, etc.)
3. Everything else/unsolicited: ranges from awkward to offensive due to undefined intentions and body part that is contacted.

 

[Progster]

When I was a child, I refused to be held bz the hand when crossing the road. I didn't like the feeling of being physically restrained, and I wanted to cross the road on my own - I was capable of crossing the road in safety on my own, thank you very much!!

Hugging the same - feels tight and restrictive, ok with close relatives or partner, not ok with strangers. As a kid, I never saw the point of it, why I had to hug family or relatives that cam to visit, when I can just greet them by saying hello. I didn't realise that it was somehow important to other people, even if it wasn't important to me. I don't like people crossing into my personal space, especially strangers.

People poking me/tapping me on the shoulder - can't stand it. I think because it is so sudden, it over stimulates - it might not hurt, but I can feel it a long time afterwards.

People get some kind of emotional energy, feedback or comfort through someone touching them, but for me it never did. For me someone touching me just feels like someone touching me, and is mostly unwelcome/intrusive.

 

[SusanLR]

I never understood the reason people give big smiles and start grabbing each other in hugs.
They must feel a need for that type of connection and I don't.
Especially from strangers, people in a social gathering or distant relatives. I can tolerate it, but, don't like it.
I've had boyfriends I could enjoy hugging.
Professional necessary touching is ok. Doctors, even massage therapists.
Parental hugs were fine and welcomed.

 

[Intensate]

When I was younger I hated family members hugging me and kissing.
As an adult I fully enjoy a hug now from close friends and family,it took me some time to appreciate a good hug.I am now a cuddly person.

My problem with touch is queuing at shops,I dislike how close people stand next to me at supermarkets that really irritates me .I have learned recently to spread my shopping out on the conveyor belts ,so to force some space .
It angers me when people push there trolley into my legs and have learned to handle the anxiety of not saying anything ,as not to say anything lead me "displace" my anger which is not healthy and I would internalise my anger and hurt my self.

I have fully learned not to displace anger and I am a happier person and it also helps me from building up major meltdowns.
In place like airports I take a diazopham to cope with the crowded place they are and the aimless people staring at there phones not looking where they are going.

 

[AuBurney Tuckerson]

My personal space is double the size of an average person, even someone sitting within a few feet of me can be too much sometimes.

As far as being touched, I really don't even like it much from a significant other. My loath of touch started as a child. I always wanted to be left alone and yet people would still bother me. I always flinch anytime someone touches me, even if it's just a accidental graze from a shoulder.

I don't think it will ever be something I outgrow. It is a defensive mechanism as much of something I don't like.

That was me as a child. But as ad adult, I'm okay with being touched, but I HATE being tapped on! It's like someone punching me. I LOVE being squeezed with deep pressure like a weighted blanket or someone laying on me while I'm in a good position, but being tapper on is the WORST. It puts me in fighting mode.

 

[OrdinaryCitizen]

Children touch each other a lot when they play and learn the world, in pre-school did you feel the same way about physical contact with other children?

Could fear of people touching being too close be some sort of a childhood trauma and does it matter if you being touched by guy or another female?