Alfonzo
New Member
I'm 35 and i've never been diagnosed because I just thought i was a little odd with my ways. I wasn't terribly non social. I had a tight circle of friends, however i always preferred to be alone or very small groups. Smells, especially not pleasant ones always were too much. If i was trying to sleep and there was any kind of consistent smell lingering around via the trashcan. didn't matter if it was a monsoon outside, id have to take it out or i wouldn't not be able to do anything but think about it. Sleep would even be in jeopardy. Tags on my shirt would have to come out always, and i could never sleep with my blanket if the tag was near my face. id have to turn the blanket around so its at my feet and i cant see it.. and even cut the soles out of my shows for a big part of my life. Very hard to express my feelings as well. or to articulate myself to make enough to make sense the first time around, even though my vocabulary is rather extensive. Very emotional. happy to sad in an instant. cry from something sad on tv. light switch like. can not focus in large group environments. I can get lost constantly looking around at everything. I am very routine because it really bothers me to not do something ive always done.
Not all of it is bad though. some things i do kinda like. Like how much attention I have to detail. I make it fun when I can. Like I am always aware of the number of people who are on an elevator, how many cars are on my block and who they belong to. I have an uncanny ability of assessment. Especially with people and scenarios. With little information I can figure out problems and solutions with almost surgical accuracy. I can piece together things about people based on patterns and habits they have, to the point I can almost predict responses or future actions from them based on what I've known them to always do. It's weird because I don't have to know a person long or hang out with them that often to do this. It makes it difficult for people to lie to me, i notice changes in speech patterns really well and i remember them...always. so when someone appears to be lying, they go against what I know to be the "truth pattern" and it screams at me. I thought it was just a coincidence but i was guess right all the time. I'm pure logic. It bothers me to apply emotion into anything that should be purely objective or constructive in a debate or dialog.
My mind races at high speeds all the time, especially when I need to figure something out, and usually I can not slow it down until i make sense of the problem. It consumes me. the problem or issue is a puzzle piece and i need them to fit perfectly to move foward to the next piece And since I will only use pure logic to solve a problem. sometimes it takes a while to solve. Mostly because If i can not make it make 100% sense, I can not stop trying to solve it until it does. It gets in the way of things that may be more important and require attention much more than the problem im trying to solve. I think visually, so I can see it all in my mind, like still shots, although when a scenario isnt what i need to solve is involved i tend to think verbally and out loud which i try to hide when i can. so sometimes i have to act like im talking on my phone so as to not appear weird do to how extensive these "conversational thoughts" can be.My memory is extensive as well. Can remember what i was wearing in a lot of situations that have happened years ago. Things im interested in, I know extensive information about. I'm really good in a artistic way in the form of writing comedy. I focus on things to the point that i can lose track of time.
My repetitive behaviors mostly include EXCESSIVE rewinding clips of videos i find funny or entertaining. Music too. If i like a 4 second part of a 3 min song i will rewind it over and over and over and over again until i have to almost force myself to move on to something else. or a clip of something i like from a movie or show. if something happens while im watching it that i really enjoy, ill rewind it over and over again until, once again, i have to force myself to move on. I do feel overwhelmed because its hard to focus on long term objectives.
I'm open to all advice and opinions folks
Thank you so much for your time and thoughts
Not all of it is bad though. some things i do kinda like. Like how much attention I have to detail. I make it fun when I can. Like I am always aware of the number of people who are on an elevator, how many cars are on my block and who they belong to. I have an uncanny ability of assessment. Especially with people and scenarios. With little information I can figure out problems and solutions with almost surgical accuracy. I can piece together things about people based on patterns and habits they have, to the point I can almost predict responses or future actions from them based on what I've known them to always do. It's weird because I don't have to know a person long or hang out with them that often to do this. It makes it difficult for people to lie to me, i notice changes in speech patterns really well and i remember them...always. so when someone appears to be lying, they go against what I know to be the "truth pattern" and it screams at me. I thought it was just a coincidence but i was guess right all the time. I'm pure logic. It bothers me to apply emotion into anything that should be purely objective or constructive in a debate or dialog.
My mind races at high speeds all the time, especially when I need to figure something out, and usually I can not slow it down until i make sense of the problem. It consumes me. the problem or issue is a puzzle piece and i need them to fit perfectly to move foward to the next piece And since I will only use pure logic to solve a problem. sometimes it takes a while to solve. Mostly because If i can not make it make 100% sense, I can not stop trying to solve it until it does. It gets in the way of things that may be more important and require attention much more than the problem im trying to solve. I think visually, so I can see it all in my mind, like still shots, although when a scenario isnt what i need to solve is involved i tend to think verbally and out loud which i try to hide when i can. so sometimes i have to act like im talking on my phone so as to not appear weird do to how extensive these "conversational thoughts" can be.My memory is extensive as well. Can remember what i was wearing in a lot of situations that have happened years ago. Things im interested in, I know extensive information about. I'm really good in a artistic way in the form of writing comedy. I focus on things to the point that i can lose track of time.
My repetitive behaviors mostly include EXCESSIVE rewinding clips of videos i find funny or entertaining. Music too. If i like a 4 second part of a 3 min song i will rewind it over and over and over and over again until i have to almost force myself to move on to something else. or a clip of something i like from a movie or show. if something happens while im watching it that i really enjoy, ill rewind it over and over again until, once again, i have to force myself to move on. I do feel overwhelmed because its hard to focus on long term objectives.
I'm open to all advice and opinions folks
Thank you so much for your time and thoughts 
