Phonecalls = jumble of words

[Aspychata]

So tonite l call my fav friend. I get off phone and reflect on their tone,call back and see that tone was not reflective of their mood.

Does anyone hangup and play back phonecall conversations in your thoughts. l have played back complete conversations in workplace because of I am unsure of went down? l notice l don't do this like l use to.

What are your phone hangups and do you wish to enlighten us here. Do you respond more to emotional triggers in person or on phone?

 

[Progster]

Yes, I usually do play back phone conversations in my head. Not just phone conversations, but face to face conversations, too. I don't always process everything going on at the time, and playing back the conversation helps me to process it and understand interaction better. I think that everyone does this to some extent, not just people on the spectrum. At work, I communicate mainly in writing, but there is one person who prefers to communicate by phone, and I find this very difficult.

My phone hangups are mainly with call centres and service providers. They are often robotic and unecessarily officious, I get the impression you aren't a person, just a number to be processed. I ask them a question, and instead of listening and then trying to help, they give me back this official garble. It's like they can't operate outside their box - can't or won't.

Emotional triggers can come from any source - a phone call, an email, a face to face conversation, but if writing I have the time to deal with and can handle the trigger, during a conversation I don't, and then spend the rest of the day going over it and thinking about what I should have said, what the person meant, was my response adequate/appropiate, etc.

 

[SameStars]

The biggest hurdle is picking up at all. I take a few seconds of mental preparation, but my instinctive thought is oh noooo. I do enjoy talking to friends though.

My real problem is that if someone introduces themselves on the phone, I will not remember their name unless I have heard the name before or have seen it written down. I blank out immediately after a name is said, I just instantly forget, it's embarrassing... When I make an appointment somewhere, I'm so thankful if it get an e-mail with the date/time/location, because I'll be second guessing myself unless I hastily scribbled it down somewhere.
There's a bigger chance I'll just zone out during the conversation, it helps to walk around though.

 

[Pats]

I've always done much better with writing. I'm much better at written expression. And I get tired of saying "what?" lol Actually I don't really say that much, unless I really want to know what they said. lol

But I do playback conversations. I still play back word to word conversations from years ago.

 

[Wolfnox]

I relate. Recently my lights went out. I called the operator and reported it. My parents were getting irritated and i had been told previously. That i should call every hour. I did so even though I knew the electricians were doing all they can. In dangerous weather. The last time i could. Likely the third time that night. The operator sounded really upset. I felt bad afterwards. Because i knew they were doing the best they could. But my dad and little brother were very annoyed the lights weren't back on. They got miffed at me for calling a third time. Even though i was doing it because they were annoyed. In hindsight it was very hot. So i think thats why they were annoyed and irritated about the lights going out.

 

[Fino]

I almost only ever have phone conversations with strangers because I'm required to, like health insurance people, and I don't care about those details with strangers so I typically only rethink in-person conversations.

 

[Rectify]

Yes. I agree with a number of posters here - I not only replay phone but also face to face interactions. It's always where I have some sort of care re the social bond whether it's an acquaintance, friend or family i.e. not when talking to the phone company.

But it's usually when I have done or said something that has bothered me ('I wish I didn't say that!' 'Did I sound too....' etc) and then I replay and ruminate over it. That is something I'm working on because 1. I may be too hard on myself and 2. You can't change the past. The worry doesn't do anything of benefit.

What you described sounds more adaptive because when you thought about the call afterwards you picked up on something useful about your friend (tone not matching) and then you acted on it.

 

[Gracey]

Telephone conversations are something I haven't learned a coping strategy for.

A real source of anxiety for me.

I have five numbers stored in my phone. I'm related to all of them.
(live under the same roof as four)

Either send me a letter/message/email or talk with me in person.
Otherwise, you're wasting your time, free minutes and effort.


any job to date has only involved scripts and protocol if answering phone was necessary
(and I couldn't get someone else to answer)