Past determining my future

[Mary Terry]

I worry that all the years of trying and not succeeding were wasted.

Your worrying about the past is wasting time today. Please try to get on with your life and stop dwelling on the past. You can't change the past but you can control or significantly influence your future.

 

[velociraptor]

I worry that all the years of trying and not succeeding were wasted.

Only if you aren't learning from the mistakes. What is working? What is not working? What problems have you noticed in yourself in self-inventories? What problems have you fixed? What problems are you working on fixing? What things can you learn that will help? What are your short and long-term goals?

 

[Markness]

Only if you aren't learning from the mistakes. What is working? What is not working? What problems have you noticed in yourself in self-inventories? What problems have you fixed? What problems are you working on fixing? What things can you learn that will help? What are your short and long-term goals?

I am short on time currently but I can say this.

What seems to work but only temporarily: Attending Meet Up events or other social events through social apps like Discord.

 

[Markness]

Things that I’ve been suggested but things didn’t go the way I hoped for them: Volunteering, attending a Universalist fellowship, speed dating, going to gyms, attending college courses, and working for the public.

 

[Markness]

Being an outsider in what’s supposed to be my culture (Central Texas Christian) has also been extremely difficult. However, even when I used to buy into Christianity, I just couldn’t get excited about church services, American football games, drinking beer, giant trucks, guns, and country music.

 

[velociraptor]

I just couldn’t get excited about church services, American football games, drinking beer, giant trucks, guns, and country music.

That's fair. I don't like any of that, either. (And I drive a big truck.)

 

[Hypnalis]

@Markness

What's stopping you is a strategic issue.
Tactical suggestions aren't necessarily wrong, but they're not going to directly address the real issue(s).

Being an outsider in what’s supposed to be my culture (Central Texas Christian)

It's true that being an outsider is often difficult.

But that statement implies something that probably isn't the case: that there are no other "outsiders", or none of the other outsiders have achieved the goals that elude you.
:
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Denial and avoidance are easy and comfortable in the sort term. But they're not good for solving problems.