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Past determining my future

Markness said:
I take it very hard when things don’t go well for me socially. It feels like getting punched in the face.
Click to expand...

Remember, this is an autistic support website. Meaning you're "preaching to the choir".

Most if not all of us take social failures very hard. Often dwelling on them long after the fact as well.
 
I notice that women who work at restaurants and drive-thru’s tend to be very friendly. I just don’t know if that also indicates that they are interested in getting to know me.

Earlier today, I went to a Thai restaurant and one of the women working there was smiling and friendly towards me. She asked me some questions but I had a difficult time hearing her due to my own auditory processing not functioning properly and she had a strong Thai (I guess?) accent. I found her attractive but I didn’t know what to do. It’s going to eat at me now. :(
 
When a person works serving food, it's in their favor
to behave in a friendly, amiable way. Nobody really
wants to have their food handed over by somebody
who looks like they want to stab you, right?

Whether any of the employees you encounter want
to see you after work is something that would require
many visits to determine.
 
Maybe they have.
If you are even marginally more socially
adept than you used to be....

Plus, not every person you meet is going to
be a friend.
 
tree said:
Maybe they have.
If you are even marginally more socially
adept than you used to be....

Plus, not every person you meet is going to
be a friend.
Click to expand...
I am better at socializing than I was as a teen and an adolescent. I still struggle on an adult level and I can’t pull off getting a date, though.

I just wonder how much longer will it take before I make new friends and a potential romantic partner. I turned 37 this year, after all.
 
Why is it apparently a bad thing to feel sad about your life situation? I think I have good reasons to feel low about how I am still struggling to break out of social isolation and finally achieve my dreams.
 
It's a bad thing because you are sad about it. You may have "good reasons to feel low" but, at the end of the day, you're very unhappy with your life. If you can change your negative attitude about your life, then you will find happiness and joy in many things. No one can change your life for you, Mark. You have to do it.
 
Markness said:
What am I doing wrong or not doing at all?
Click to expand...

Really? We'd have to be there in real time to objectively answer such a thing, if there is an answer.

All you can do is to keep trying. With the realization that you have rely on peoples' individuality as to how the may or may not be attracted to whatever attention you give them. Try to look at the bright side of this social equation.

Many NT women may well be turned off by autistic men. But a few are always the opposite...intrigued by us for whatever reason. At least that has been my impression in hindsight.

Makes me wonder had I not been autistic at all, whether I would have had a chance with the few NT women I had lengthy relationships with.
 
I married an NT woman, not knowing I was on spectrum, My quirky personality is what attracted her, and apparently many other ladies I was unaware of.
 
Markness said:
I notice that women who work at restaurants and drive-thru’s tend to be very friendly. I just don’t know if that also indicates that they are interested in getting to know me.

Earlier today, I went to a Thai restaurant and one of the women working there was smiling and friendly towards me. She asked me some questions but I had a difficult time hearing her due to my own auditory processing not functioning properly and she had a strong Thai (I guess?) accent. I found her attractive but I didn’t know what to do. It’s going to eat at me now. :(
Click to expand...
My rule of thumb is, if the other person is getting paid to be there, 99% chance they are not interested in anything outside of the establishment.
 
Markness said:
I notice that women who work at restaurants and drive-thru’s tend to be very friendly. I just don’t know if that also indicates that they are interested in getting to know me.
Click to expand...
Former chef speaking here. They're not, and they generally hate being approached by customers. It makes their job unpleasant and creepy. Just don't.
 
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