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On the outside looking in (artistic circles)

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Sherlock77, Nov 25, 2020.

  1. Sherlock77

    Sherlock77 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Tonight was an online photographer talk (Covid) which would have normally been done in person, I do try to get to them as often as I can,

    The person being interviewed tonight is a well loved and very accomplished local photographer who does it for a living, primarily documentary style which is why I love his work, and I do know George reasonably well, certainly to see him at local events we can chat for awhile. But he is also very popular so is often (usually) busy talking, but having said that he is a fairly quiet man

    As the online talk went on, there were a few mentions of professional photographers he had worked with, interacted with on a regular basis. I just get the sense that hardly anyone on the chat even knows who I am, that I'm pretty much "anonymous"

    I have often felt that no matter how good (or bad? :p) my photography is, because I can't seem to crack the inner sanctum of all the professional photographers, I will never be noticed by anyone

    Even as an amateur photographer (simply by definition I suppose), I wish I could break into that crowd, but they probably hardly even notice me... I've wondered if it's because I'm terrible at crowd mixing at events or online for that matter, or maybe that wouldn't matter anyway... Maybe it is something to do with communication issues around my HFA diagnosis, I often think being successful as an artist is a combination of how "good" you actually are, the right lucky break, and communication, which is the part I struggle with the most.

    I honestly wish I could connect more with George, just George, he has hinted at getting together in the past (when talking with him at events), then when I would try to get in touch with him he is always super busy, and I've pretty much given up on that

    But it was a good talk, he is a very skilled photographer and a great teacher too
     
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  2. Suzanne

    Suzanne Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I get you, because I spent years like this, but having no idea that I was on the spectrum.

    In my faith, we use zoom and at first, I when I joined, I would mute them, because I felt so alone, listening, but unable to join in, but I can no longer mute and so, tend to just not use my headphones. It also, gets confusing when they are saying hello. I have asked that if they are talking to me, can they say my name, because then I know it is directed at me.

    It is awful, looking in, but not being able to join in.

    Sorry, a pretty negative answer, but as old as I am now, it doesn't get any easier for me.
     
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  3. Sherlock77

    Sherlock77 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    It doesn't get any easier, but it's a struggle I've had for many years, what does it take...
     
  4. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I think it's timing partly, I can't tell when to speak in group interaction, my choices are to just talk, risking talking over others, or to not talk. This is certainly a brain function issue, so we shouldn't feel bad about it, but it's a bit like being deaf, say, it cuts us off from others in quite an invisible way.

    It could be improved by awareness of others that this is the case for us, and then there could be ways of accessing us , such as turn taking for everyone, or overt offers of a space for us should we wish to contribute.

    It radically reduces my participation in any interactive events. At work meetings I used to cope somewhat by plunging in and hoping for the best, but often regarded as odd. I also waited til the end sometimes.
     
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  5. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    We don't have the ability to PUSH our way in. We're not the loud, attention getters and don't make ourselves stand out. I'ts just not in most of us - so it's very hard for us to get noticed.
     
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  6. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Suzanne, I did the zoom meetings with a small church group and I hated it if any tried to talk to me, which they would. I'd rather watch quietly and feel like part, but not be seen or heard. Now they've gone back to physical church and have it also online for those to join who can't be there physically and it's exactly what I need. They know I'm there. Sometimes I felt like God used covid to make it possible and easier for people like me to continue to meet for services.
     
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  7. Sherlock77

    Sherlock77 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    That's the part that has frustrated over many years of my photography, not knowing where I fit in (moreso socially), I have always felt like an outsider and I'm not entirely sure how much more I can do... I'm still not going to quit though...
     
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  8. SliverOfSand

    SliverOfSand Active Member

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    I find I have the same problem. I’m an artist, and just started doing some graphic design work. I have tried some social media in the past, but I never make it very far. I always give up with posting things because I use so much effort in actually putting myself out there and it never really pays off. I would love to find a group of other artists where I could get an idea of how to get in the ‘business’, so to speak, of doing art as a living.

    I do think that our communication skills play a huge role in how well we integrate into groups, even when it includes a personal interest. I’ve never done an in-person meet up, since I’m way to shy to actually join something like that, but I know how it feels to be on the outside looking in with bigger groups of people. Although I find that even using social media, it is difficult for me to interact with others in a way that doesn’t seem obviously scripted. I have kind of come to terms with just doing art for myself, and not worrying so much about how to integrate into a group. I’d love to find a class on ‘how to join a club without feeling weird about it’.;)
     
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  9. Sherlock77

    Sherlock77 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Try to find associations related to the field, even professional associations might allow you to join as a student (of sorts)

    Also maybe try some volunteer work with non-profit groups

    Just a couple of thoughts, and never give up, if you enjoy do it, find a way to do it... I'm not planning to quit photography anytime soon, just because of what I said...
     
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  10. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    I think it's a processing issue... socialising and interaction uses a lot of processing power, and we don't process it all as fast as other people do, it kind of bottlenecks. That's why they are able to interact easily and fluidly. For me, it's like being behind a glass wall, or watching TV as I used to call it. It's the one thing that I'v enoticed that all people with ASD seem to have in common, no matter what their background or personality. Different people deal with it in different ways; some mask, but I never could.
     
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  11. Sherlock77

    Sherlock77 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Yet I know that my skills of observation (as you describe) are what make my photography tick, just that I struggle when I need to network...
     
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