NT's, What attracted you to your aspie partner? And vice versa?

[Katina12]

Just curious...I was thinking about all this last night, how even before my BF revealed his diagnosis to me there were many traits (some aspie traits, some just uniquely him) that caused me to fall in love with him, and the last time I was in love was with another most likely undiagnosed on the spectrum man who I was completely enthralled with.

Things I loved about him right away:
-His innocence, almost in a childlike way. He is so observant about absolutely everything in the world, and points out things to me that I never even noticed before. I notice sights and sounds and smells in a way I never have before. I had never seen anyone so enthralled by something as ordinary as a sunset, and it made me realize just how beautiful the world really is sometimes. He completely changed my way of seeing the world.
-His politeness and chivalry. He was always opening doors for me, outright refusing to let me pay even to the point of adorably getting upset when I kept asking! He calls me all the time just to see how my day is going. Even though he can be a bit clingy...his loyalty and devotion is like nothing I've ever seen before.
-His quietness. As someone who is semi-outgoing myself, his quiet mysteriousness enthralled me from the start.
-His love of his passions. He is so smart and amazing with computers it actually baffles me, the way he can concentrate on a task for hours on end and absolutely throw himself into his work is incredible. He also loves reading and his love of books was so sweet to me, something I could always use to get him to open up when he was feeling shy at first.
-How straightforward he is. He tells me exactly what he thinks when I ask him to, and I don't honestly think he's ever lied to me. His honesty is so amazing and something I admire so much.

These are just a few things!

And when he's told me what he liked about me, he's said he was immediately drawn to my confidence, outgoing nature, kindness and caringness.

So...NTs, what attracted you to your aspie partner? Aspies, what attracted you to your NT?

(As a quick side note: I've been seen a bunch of posts on here of aspies worried they would never be able to date, get a girlfriend, etc. I can tell you now that at least from my experience, I absolutely love dating an aspie and despite our differences and issues, I would not trade this for anything!)

 

[Suzanne]

I am married to an NT and the only thing that, well, I cannot say attracts, because it is not an attraction, but does help me, is that he explains what how an NT thinks and because I associate with only NT's offline, I do appreciate it, because it helps just a tiny bit and also, to not say something inappropriate.

Although I wind my husband up considerably; I know that my innocence when it comes to a simple gift, is a joy for him, because of the look he gives me.

He hides a little bit of dark chocolate each day for me and gives me clues on where to find them. So I find from relating this to another NT that women are not usually like this. They feel it is treating them like a child ie condescending, but for me, I feel that it shows he cares. Oh and it was ME who suggested giving me a bit each day, otherwise I would gorge on the lot.

He loves it when he finds a toad and I join in with the AWW factor. He loves it that I do not wear a lot of make up and that I do not even wear lipstick. Think he appreciates too, that I never leave my bags or shoes around the house. Each time I use them, after I empty and put back in a place designed for them.

Anyway, as I said, my husband is the NT and yet, he enjoys the little things too and is incredably romantic which is difficult, because I am not lol

 

[kay]

My "NT" boyfriend is peculiar, curious, and kinda childlike at times. He gets interested in very esoteric things. He is a nice, thoughtful person. That's what attracted me to him.

And what attracted him to me? He has told me many times it's because I'm peculiar, curious, and kinda childlike. I am interested in odd things and have knowledge of esoteric bits of trivia. He says I'm a nice and thoughtful person.(I hope he's right)

So I guess despite him being "NT" and me being "ND" we are actually attracted to our similarities.

 

[Rich Gray]

I have Asperger's Syndrome, and my wife is NT. She is the little sister of my best friend. We would talk on the phone and joke when I called for her brother. I remember going over to their house on a Saturday morning and she was wearing a t-shirt as a nightgown. I must have looked too long at her legs, and her mother told her to get dressed. Some time later I needed a date for prom, and my best friend suggested that I asked his sister. I thought that asking her out would have been improper, but was extremely pleased. She agreed to go with me because her best friend was going. Later she liked how I was kind to everyone. We started dating soon after prom. I was/am way out of my league on so many levels. Not a day goes by where I don't think about how lucky I am. All the best things in my life stem from pure random chance.

Basically we got along, she liked my sense of humor, we agreed on politics (I really like muti-generational macro economics and I would not be able to abide a mate who was incapable in seeing the data), she was in honor courses (was smart), exhibited loads of willpower (I did not have to try *AT ALL* in school once I hit about 13-years-old, and was basically on auto-pilot . . . no willpower used), and she was drop dead gorgeous.

 

[ladybug]

I am NT, my partner Aspie...
He is very different to any man I've dated.... he is direct and sweet and funny.... xx

 

[Gracey]

I knew I would marry this man the moment we were introduced. (Whether he wanted to or not )

 

[ladybug]

Ok... my answer doesn't do us justice...
he is shy and open...
He is set in his way and yet curious...
He is very black and white about lots but believes in the ability of people to change...
He is inclusive and distant ....
He spontaneous and controlled...
He is generous and frugal....
He is fast and funny and has me intrigued and I feel is a person I will never fully know...
He is like quicksilver..... the tighter you want to hold..the quicker he will slip through your fingers....

 

[Momo]

I knew I would marry this man the moment we were introduced. (Whether he wanted to or not )

Now all I need to do is kidnap me a man and force him into marriage. That isn't illegal, is it?

 

[Gracey]

Now all I need to do is kidnap me a man and force him into marriage. That isn't illegal, is it?

I was joking
He was never under any duress.
Almost thirty years ago we were both serving soldiers. It was a different way of living. Carpe Diem.
Ain't nobody got time for sensible, looooooong engagements. He made my heart flutter, my knees weak, and if I'm honest, I wanted this man's children. It was that basic and that simple. Being somewhat blunt and straight to the point I asked him two questions. His answers were music to my ears. The rest; as they say, is history.

 

[Momo]

I was joking
He was never under any duress.
Almost thirty years ago we were both serving soldiers. It was a different way of living. Carpe Diem.
Ain't nobody got time for sensible, looooooong engagements. He made my heart flutter, my knees weak, and if I'm honest, I wanted this man's children. It was that basic and that simple. Being somewhat blunt and straight to the point I asked him two questions. His answers were music to my ears. The rest; as they say, is history.

Meh, too romantic for me. I think the psychopathic route sounds more my style. Now, just need to clear out the basement for my captive future husband... (because that's the only way I'll ever convince a man to marry me)

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Meh, too romantic for me. I think the psychopathic route sounds more my style. Now, just need to clear out the basement for my captive future husband... (because that's the only way I'll ever convince a man to marry me)

Oh, i didnt realise... is that your picture in the avatar?

 

[Momo]

Oh, i didnt realise... is that your picture in the avatar?

Oh yeah, totally. I also happen to have laser beams, a pet dinosaur and now a captive husband in my basement (which I somehow have in a flat). I'm always 1000000% serious. For a space Buddha, I'm apparently pretty violent.

 

[Gracey]

Meh, too romantic for me. I think the psychopathic route sounds more my style. Now, just need to clear out the basement for my captive future husband... (because that's the only way I'll ever convince a man to marry me)

Nonsense
There's someone out there for you.
Sometimes you have to wait ages for the diamond to form

.....unless you already know someone who actually enjoys being captive in the basement ?