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nt jokes, sarcasm and wit v aspies and reaction

Suzanne

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Before I had even heard of aspergers, I found that when a joke is given etc and I never got it, that the look and sigh of: wow you are slow (learned to read expressions). This always left me feeling stupid and ridiculously relieved and complimented when I caught on or even come out with a witty comment myself and get commended for it.

Now that I am getting to know me, it is even more apparent how nt deride ones for not getting the joke, which, I confess winds me up.

This is one reason, I hate socialising.
 
In my life, I have had people think that I was stupid because of my lack of social skills. This seems to be common among "most people". Almost always, it turns out that I'm at least as smart as they are. This is my reason for disliking socializing.
 
You think that's bad... I want to be a Aspie Comedian.

;)

You think that's bad.... I apparently was!

As a lecturer I learnt to model comedians as well as some seriously good lecturers. My students feedback? "OMG you're so funny in class, we love coming for the gags" :eek:

At least they passed the exams;)
 
So often durring conversations I react quickly with smiles, nods and 'hmms' but then get a distant, confussed look on my face as I try and figure out what on earth they are talking about, especially with jokes. It's frustrating because it makes expressing myself and joining in with conversations where humour is involved difficult. I feel impaired.


I had the following conversation with one of the girls that I hung around with whilst at secondary school -

Girl says- "You're dead dormant."

(But I hear "You're dead tall, you are")

I offer an explanation for my 'tallness' - "That's because I have my shoes on"
 
I have no problem with idioms or irony. Like to think I have a bit of a bizarre sense of humor and love a good pun or play on words of some kind. But some jokes....and particularly sarcasm I can often have real difficulty with.

Yet it was also one of the traits my brother identified immediately when I told him I thought I was on the spectrum. It still amazes me that the one person still living who knows much about me so readily acknowledged my own suspicions.
 
I probably take more of an issue with it when people actually say something and expect people to wait for it like it's some kind of cue. Like you're telling a joke and expect people to burst out in laughing... I once stared at someone and asked "why are you pausing? Are you waiting for me to understand that joke? If I'm not laughing, it's not because I don't get it, it's because it's a terrible joke".

My own joking often comes in between things I say and I just move on. It sometmes means people are like "what?!" and start laughing midsentence when I already moved on. I'm sneaky like that, lol. On the other hand; people who know me in real life, pretty much know there's at least some pun or joke in every second sentence I utter

I believe that comedy, at least for me works the exact opposite of NT's. Where aspies often need to have things pointed out and time to process, I've found that when people tell jokes, they often take a short pause so people can process it.
 
My true aspirations are more along the line of humor as personal and group therapy. Something to both unwind and oppose the blues.

But I also say it as a joke, as I think the idea of an Aspie Comedian hysterical. I imagine a standup in an NT audience where no one gets there jokes. Even if the audience was all AS, half have problems getting jokes to begin with. Its like the perfect doomed profession. :D
 
Oh my God, I have lost count of the times when I don't get jokes, or take someone seriously when they are joking! I used to visit a small grocery store in my neighborhood. Since it was close to my home I would often stop there. Once I stopped in two nights in a row, and a cashier said, "Weren't you just in here yesterday? You come here every day!" I became flustered and started to explain that I had forgotten an item for supper, and she in turn seemed surprised and said she had only been joking. To give her credit, she apologized and said that she often got in trouble with her style of humor.
 
I figured something out recently, and it's helped me to cross the NT/Aspie divide. For me, humor/being funny is more a "state of being". It's like I'm just here enjoying life, and all the things in it that amuse me.

I'm making my peace with socializing. A great thing I've learned--it's not about what you say, it's about how you say it. So I'm approaching socializing as a "sharing of energies", if you know what I mean. If I can make someone feel better by being around me, I will. If I'm amused, they will be too. And if they're not, that's their choice!

I used to visit a small grocery store in my neighborhood. Since it was close to my home I would often stop there. Once I stopped in two nights in a row, and a cashier said, "Weren't you just in here yesterday? You come here every day!"

I've had my share of difficulties with comments like this. Nowadays, I'm approaching conversations with the aim of taking everything with amusement. If I was on the ball and someone said this to me, I'd want to shoot back, "Well, I do eat every day... don't you?" Like I'm being literal and sarcastic at the same time. Like my joke is that I take it literally just to mess with them, and it amuses me.
 
Oh my God, I have lost count of the times when I don't get jokes, or take someone seriously when they are joking! I used to visit a small grocery store in my neighborhood. Since it was close to my home I would often stop there. Once I stopped in two nights in a row, and a cashier said, "Weren't you just in here yesterday? You come here every day!" I became flustered and started to explain that I had forgotten an item for supper, and she in turn seemed surprised and said she had only been joking. To give her credit, she apologized and said that she often got in trouble with her style of humor.

Are we twins lol? :p I used to do the same thing ie explain in embarrassment, but the response was: wow can't you take a joke or something? This meant I would go as less often as possible after that.

One thing is that once I know the "witty" joke, I remember and have had my moments of shooting back something like. And you will see even more of me, if you are not careful and get roars of laughter :rolleyes:

I groan inside when some one says: do you want to hear an excellent joke and I have been known to say that it will probably be lost on me or get up with an excuse.

However, it is not unknown for me to tell a joke or make a witty comment, they are just not often enough o_O
 
I don't always give a reaction when I don't get a joke, and some of the jokes will probably not register at all, so that's no difference.

I can be fairly sarcastic in my own communication, so maybe that's why it's easier to spot for me. But I sort of had an exchange today, when someone made a seemingly exaggerated compliment, and I asked are you being sarcastic? He said no. So after a moment I asked are you being sarcastic now? And then he laughed, and I still don't know. So I get the frustration.
 
One thing that would prevent me from ever being a comedian is the fact that I can not remember a joke. No joke, ever. The only exception are some very obvious/corny ones I learned in grade school. For some reason they stuck with me... maybe because those never die and are handed down from generation to generation of kids.
 
Like others above, I also have difficulty getting jokes and sarcasm - I never know whether something is meant to be taken seriously or in jest. But for me one of the most difficult things about socialising is banter. I can't do banter. Even if I think of something witty to say, one is expected to keep the banter going, and I just can't do this. I also find it hard to understand. I always feel very uncomfortable and inadequate where banter is going on - I stay silent and give a little smile if someone says anything to me, but don't reply. It's a mystery how people can keep the banter going seemingly effortlessly for long periods of time.
 
I get most humor. That doesn't mean I find it funny, but I at least understand that it is a joke and why it is supposed to be funny.

I do have one coworker, however, who employs a very dry sense of humor. His favorite gag is playing dumb, and I can never tell if he is being serious or not. This is made worse by the fact that sometimes he legitimately doesn't understand something and I don't know what his tells are.
 

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