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Not exactly sure where to post this....

Ask him first. I'd automatically hate it if it were a surprise, but if I knew about it beforehand I'd be more okay with it.

It's probably not so much that he likes the mess as that he finds it too exhausting to keep up order.
 
Ylva said:
Ask him first. I'd automatically hate it if it were a surprise, but if I knew about it beforehand I'd be more okay with it.

It's probably not so much that he likes the mess as that he finds it too exhausting to keep up order.
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Yes...!! I think it’s more like that.... but a wee chat to ask seems to be the way forward.....!!
 
That being said :

I'm sure he will also love practical jokes :)

So , if you plan loads of those for him, I can guarantee future harmony :)
 
ladybug said:
but I don’t want to do this and it’s not wanted...
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Then ask him if it's wanted first.

ladybug said:
do you think he likes it all mixed up... or do you think it stresses him.
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Literally no way for us to know this, maybe ask him.

ladybug said:
I’d like to surprise him by sorting it for him..
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He might appreciate the surprise, he might hate it.

ladybug said:
Would you like a ‘help’ like this in your house...?!?
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No, leave my stuff where it is. How I feel about things and where/how they're stored is irrelevant though, as we're all different.
 
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xudo said:
Than ask him if it's wanted first.



Literally no way for us to know this, maybe ask him.



He might appreciate the surprise, he might hate it.



No, leave my stuff where it is. How I feel about things and where/how they're stored is irrelevant though, as we're all different.
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Ah.... as always spot in...!! Thanks :)
 
I agree--no surprises. Do you have any way to communicate with him while he's away? If so, contact him and offer to reorganize the kitchen. If he says OK, then you proceed. If he says no, then you don't. He might even say yes, but within certain guidelines. Whatever he says, you'll gain certainty about what (or what not) to do. Certainty is comforting.
 
He also might take it as some sort of judgement if you did do such a thing.

A sort of 'you are so messy so I'll fix that all up according to what I like' and could possibly find it a trifle controlling or insulting. It would depend on how he perceives things.

One of my relatives decided to 'help' another relative by removing and replacing all her usual dishes and cutlery with new things, and reorganizing her kitchen. She could barely contain her anger when she saw what she had done.

The relative who had done that, thought it was a kind and worthwhile thing, which it was, something that would please the other person. It may have been too intrusive and personal for the other individual.
 
For myself, I wouldn't mind but you would have to come over to put the dishes away forever after that! Ha

I think this saved you from getting your key taken away. AC saves the day!
 
I like surprises... IF:
  • I know they're going to happen
  • I know when they're going to happen
  • I know what's going to change
  • I know the process of that change
Period.
 
-SN said:
For myself, I wouldn't mind but you would have to come over to put the dishes away forever after that! Ha

I think this saved you from getting your key taken away. AC saves the day!
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Ha ha ha ..... yes yes..! All the dishes every day...?!?! Ha ha you must be crazy...!! ;)
 
Mia said:
He also might take it as some sort of judgement if you did do such a thing.

A sort of 'you are so messy so I'll fix that all up according to what I like' and could possibly find it a trifle controlling or insulting. It would depend on how he perceives things.

One of my relatives decided to 'help' another relative by removing and replacing all her usual dishes and cutlery with new things, and reorganizing her kitchen. She could barely contain her anger when she saw what she had done.

The relative who had done that, thought it was a kind and worthwhile thing, which it was, something that would please the other person. It may have been too intrusive and personal for the other individual.
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I’m only thinking about this ‘kindness’ as I do most of the cooking...(he enjoys my food) and we’ve bought pots and pans recently...!! He said it was my choice- but he offered...!!!
 
Beguiling Orbit said:
I agree--no surprises. Do you have any way to communicate with him while he's away? If so, contact him and offer to reorganize the kitchen. If he says OK, then you proceed. If he says no, then you don't. He might even say yes, but within certain guidelines. Whatever he says, you'll gain certainty about what (or what not) to do. Certainty is comforting.
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Yes.... I will ask... but I wanted it to be a lovely surprise....! Perhaps not...?!?!
 
The one thing I can't understand in NTs is all this jumping around the topic. You're not sure of something - ASK. Don't wonder, get anxious and play with 'the issue'. Just ask. It's really easy like that.

I don't mean it as offence. However, it can be frustrating.
 
onlything said:
The one thing I can't understand in NTs is all this jumping around the topic. You're not sure of something - ASK. Don't wonder, get anxious and play with 'the issue'. Just ask. It's really easy like that.

I don't mean it as offence. However, it can be frustrating.
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Ok.... but what if you wanted to surprise your partner...? I don’t want to wade in there.... but I’d have thought that sorting kitchen would be a good thing.... not to ask prior as it would ruin the ‘surprise ‘ element but to helpsoty...
 
ladybug said:
Ok.... but what if you wanted to surprise your partner...? I don’t want to wade in there.... but I’d have thought that sorting kitchen would be a good thing.... not to ask prior as it would ruin the ‘surprise ‘ element but to helpsoty...
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I'm sorry but you asked for advice. You've had it in spades, yet you're still waiting for someone to agree with you! What part of surprises are a bad idea don't you get?
 
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