Ok.... but what if you wanted to surprise your partner...? I don’t want to wade in there.... but I’d have thought that sorting kitchen would be a good thing.... not to ask prior as it would ruin the ‘surprise ‘ element but to helpsoty...
You need to understand that ASD people are different than NTs(neurotypicals). We think differently, we see the world differently, we understand things differently. Most of us don't like surprises and that's a fact easily seen in this thread. There are already too many confusing event going on around us. Maybe I will try to show you this on example.
Imagine please one of the most stressing days you ever had. Your boss complained loudly about you at work. All of the lights turned red when you were to pass. All the passer-bies were sending you cutting remark. Your co-workers were sending you weird faces throughout the day and laughing behind your back. First it was too hot, then suddenly too cold and too rainy for your taste. After this long-long stressing day you come back home at night, wet and tired, knowing full-well that you'll come back to be given a warm meal by your loved one, then spend like always a nice, quiet evening cuddling and watching TV.
You're surprised by a chaos at the house. When you were out, your partner organised a party and went to sleep without cleaning anything. The kitchen especially looks disgusting and if you want to eat something before sleep, you need to clean it all.
How do you feel? Frustrated, angry, exhausted? Confused because he never before did something like this?
Of course, it may not be the same as how I described it. I'm most of the time rather bad with seeing the world through others', especially NTs', eyes.
The thing is, some stuff you like is going to be hated by your partner. You like peppers, he can't stand them. You'd like to surprise him, he may get a meltdown due to unpredictability of this behaviour.
I don't write it to scare you. I just write it to let you know that he IS different than you. The key here is communication. Open communication. Talk to him. If you're confused - ask. If you're not sure of something - ask. Try not to be judgmental and let him know that he can do the same. Just - get to know him and let him get to know yourself.
NT/Aspie relationship can be hard but definitely worth it.
If you'd like to surprise him that much... surprise him by being open to him and to his needs and quirks. Understanding. Loving. Read about ASD to understand it better too.