Ah. A personal starting point, not a goal. Yes, the graphic helps. It makes sense now, how the multiple traumas lowered my threshold so I was constantly overstimulated. Only with the kindness of time did a quiet life take me further from my threshold. Thanks for good mental pictures to help understand a very precarious time of life.First off, I love hearing that your life has improved somewhat. (And yes, I had to go back and add this because I originally jumped right in by responding to the question about the window concept.) Oh well. LOVED the last part of your response by the way. It made me laugh because I can so easily relate.
According to my understanding, the size of the opening of the window is not self-determined. Nor is it meant to represent an ideal or "the best." It is more a description of the starting point of your nervous system. This can obviously fluctuate greatly at any point during the day, but I think we each have a baseline of sorts. I attached a picture I found online that correlated with this idea. It is just an example. I have not thoroughly researched how accurate this is statistically. But it is an example of how someone's nervous system with Autism or trauma can look different from a person that does not have them. While the picture is not a window, you can imagine the difference between the two different neurologies in much the same way. So greater family stress puts everyone closer to the red stress threshold line. The closer one is to that line, the quicker that person becomes overwhelmed.