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New here and self diagnosed

S

Shakermaker

New Member
Ive always known i am different, and need your guys advice from what i have read online to see if i have aspergers.

I have been on antidepressants for 20 years now but never been diagnosed with Asperger's by a doctor. The main thing i have a problem with is large groups. I usually keep very quiet because if i start a conversation i know i will not know what to say after the introduction of myself, i have very little interest in what people are saying unless its something that im intrested in. I have very little sympathy for people, don't keep in contact at all really with my parents unless they bug me about it. I hate kids, my wife has a big family with alot of kids on her side, i despise them coming to the house to the point i will drive off somewhere so i have to spend less time at home.

I stress about everything especially work, im a salary worker and will work 12-13 hour days to finish something even if i know it can be done tomorrow. I mean i get stressed to the point that i will not go to the bathroom to pee unless i finish something i have set in my mind as a goal to finish by a certain time.

I have a routine at work that i cannot break, i have to get coffee at the exact same time, press the buttons on the coffee machine a certain way. Pull 5 paper towels to dry my hands after washing them.

Just reading what i wrote i sound insane and a horrible person, but this is the first time i have told anyone this.
 
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Shakermaker said:
Just reading what i wrote i sound insane and a horrible person, but this is the first time i have told anyone this.
Click to expand...

Not really. To me, you just sound like one of us. I was diagnosed with chronic clinical depression, social anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder in 1982. Conditions now known to be comorbid to Autism Spectrum Disorder. Sadly Aspergers Syndrome never occurred to my doctor or myself at the time. It wasn't until around 2013 that I began to research the subject and eventually get over my own sense of denial and embrace the possibility that I could be on the spectrum of autism.

However being retired in my 60s, I no longer see the point of a formal diagnosis. Though I now know enough to be incredibly selective about sharing it with much of anyone. With the odds in favor of those who will not or cannot understand.

Stick around...be prepared to do a lot of reading here to catch up on just who and what you may indeed be. Welcome to Autism Forums.
 
Certainly not "insane and a horrible person". You certainly could be ASD from what you describe. I think you could get a better idea from online screening tests. Also, you don't discuss your childhood. ASD is always more apparent in children than adults. How were you different as a child?
 
You're not insane, horrible or alone. From what you wrote you may or may not be on the spectrum, but you don't need to be to be here.

There are some tests here which can give an indication without spending so very much time - Aspie tests

Whether you are a fellow aspie or not I'd guess you have some characteristics that many of us share. That's what comorbid means, and like Judge I have OCD too.

It can be easier to help you if we know more, so you might get asked questions. You don't have to answer them if you don't want to. I hope you will find that you don't need to hide who you are here, though.
 
Hi and welcome you are so not 'insane or horrible, you just experience life differently and yes in my opinion aspects you've explained suggest Autism as others have suggested try on-line tests, prehaps read a book (i found Tony Attwood a good guy) and you may wish to search on previous posts and links.
 
Hi and welcome. You certainly sounds in the zone of autism, and I m guessing you have some upsides and great qualities too, you just aren't seeing or connecting with at present. Certainly you sound like you get your job done with awesome thoroughness. I hope that you enjoy it here and find useful discussions and resources.

:herb::palmtree::seedling::leafwind::dragon::cactus::sunflower::herb::palmtree::seedling::leafwind::bug::herb:
 
Sounds like you are also suffering from ocd and so yes, from your explaination, it is certainly worth going forward for a diagnosis of aspergers or as they say: spectrum.

My husband said that he wants a client ( he is a gardener) to come over and look at our trees, to see if she would like them in her garden and that just about freaked me out. But, he added that he will tell her to not knock at the door; just look around the gardener on her own. I was relieved, but felt embarrassed that I am like this.

Not keen on children either, but I think it is because they can be very unkind and have a horrible habit of staring at you. But, saying that, I am good with children, when I have had to put up with them.

I feel dislodged in groups and it now know by some that I can only do one to one.
 
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