"New" Aspie tries to prove that maybe he's wrong about having austism...

[Streetwise]

So...last Saturday there was a naughty little gathering of members at my tennis club where I teach... maybe 20 members all brought their own alcohol and were having an impromptu party ... I should add that everyone was staying quite separated ... they all had their individual little "island" on the grass, and it was outside ... I was walking off my court, pretty tired as usual from teaching and thought, "I'm going to say hi and join in for a bit. What the heck. I bet if I relax, I can have fun ."

So I saw my someone I knew well, and joined him in a conversation... I think he may be a little atypical too... the conversation went right to fabrication process differences between Intel and AMD microprocessors ... but the volume of the conversations around me got louder quickly. Within 10 mins I couldn't discern half of what he was saying ... almost nothing at times. I suddenly had this deep regret for getting myself into that situation and now I was playing the "random reactions" game, hoping the nod and smile was coming at the right moment ...

Oh well. So much for that.

Never forget standing at a bus stop, wearing my private school uniform, was sort of blending ,then a voice asked a question, became default panic talker \not knowing I was autistic, I did everything I could to avoid conversation! but of course being the only! teenager in my area to attend a private school didn't help, bad enough! I thought everyone thinks I'm weird, now I'm weirder wearing a huge sign different! ,every other child attended a state school .