Never wanted kids?

[indigo basil]

Has anyone on ac never wanted kids? I've never in all my life had any desire to reproduce. I know that is very very strange to people when I tell them that and I'm thinking about whether it's my neurology or my childhood. I had a terrible childhood, with parents who drank constantly and was pretty much an orphan at the age of 7... I was changing my sisters diapers at age 5 and was basically expected to raise them. Now that I'm engaged, I'm constantly asked when my fiance and I will have our own children (he has two from a previous marriage). I always say never (because we already have two) and because I've never ever wanted any 'of my own.' I've never felt that maternal need to raise kids and I've never felt that compulsion to pass on my genes to the next generation. Honestly, taking care of screaming infants and back talking children sounds like a nightmare to me. Am I completely alone in this?

You are not alone.
Also, this is not necessarily and Aspie thing. I've met many people who have never and will never desire to have children. It doesn't necessarily mean they don't like and appreciate other people's children, just that they don't want any of their own, for various reasons.

1. No desire.
2. Can't face the responsibility, because they realize children are actually PEOPLE! We play GOD when we make children, making life is much more of a god-thing than taking life, isn't it?
3. They don't want to continue the gene line.
4. Life is already complicated enough without the added stress of kids. For life...
5. Seems like life is more fun without them.

These are just a few.

I've had children. Fraternal twins who are now 23 with each having two of her own children.
A son who is 17, and a baby I lost at birth 13 years ago.

I must say that for the first time in a long while with the kids all grown I am having much more fun in my life.

My advice, you don't need to feel bad or different, and anyone who does can go jump in the lake. You are the master of your destiny.
And, IT'S NOT NECESSARILY AN ASPIE THING.

Peace.

 

[Jimbo]

Having children is definitely not for everyone. It is a huge commitment and changes your life drastically. My wife and I adopted our daughter from China 9 years ago and it was the best thing we have ever done. This little girl has brought us so much joy that it is hard to describe. She has a great personality and is lots of fun to have around. My wife has to do most of the disciplining because I'm pretty much like a 45 year old child myself. We have met so many people because of our daughter. We have become good friends with many other couples who also have adopted from China. We have also met a lot of other parents on the baseball field because she has played little league baseball for the last 4 years or so. Having a child has been a great experience for us, although it's not always easy. She is a very strong willed girl and likes to argue and getting her to do what she is supposed to do is not always easy. The baby years were not all that easy. We went through the usual lack of sleep years, but now she is 10 and sleeping like a teenager. There are definitely pros and cons to being parents, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.