I am the one who has aspergers in our marriage and I believe that if my husband was to comment to your post, he would echo a lot of what you do. However, there is always two sides to a coin and thus, we are only hearing your side.
I was pregnant by a donor through, artificial insemination and suffered a great deal. Was bedridden for most of the 3 month period, because of not being able to eat nor drink. My husband was cruel and not once supported me or even cared. All he would say is that he had work and could not tend to me as well and so, I had to watch laundry being piled up, because he would not lift a finger to help. Oh, he did try to get me to eat, but was frustrated when I vomited again.
It was me who begged him to take me to a dr and although he did, he said quite opening that I was deeply embarrassing him and told me in the waiting room to stop being a drama queen.
I was rushed to hospital with ketons on my urine. In other words, my body started eating itself, which was terrible for a new life growing inside me, so I was put on a drip, to get the nutrients and my husband only visited a couple of times, because that is what he must do as a husband, rather than because he wanted to.
He did, however, support me when I went for a particular scan, due to the fact it was not a natural conception and I had to drink water, but it was so hard to do, and he did join me in that and did not go to toilet, so that was great and appreciated that.
If I had known what was going to take place there, I would never have gone for the scan, because the nurse hit my uterus and soon after that, my fetus died.
That was 30 odd year's ago and today, he still does not care and the reason? Because it was not his child! And he is a neurotypical.
So, basically, do you know the reason why he refused to believe you were pregnant? And, in truth, it why have another child and make that one suffer too?
We do not deliberately set out to be annoying. In fact, we are so sensitive to sounds, smells etc, that it HURTS and why we end up digging our heals in.
You are pretty dismissive towards his attributes, but he has succeed in having a company, because you mention his secretary and thus, he has a huge role if not the owner.
I can barely tell the time, and hopeless with math, but I am very good at book keeping.
I am not into gardening and cooking.
It is great that you are proactive in searching for reasons why he is this way and therefore, look more into aspergers in males, to gain a deeper understanding of him.
Don't get into a role as my husband. My husband resents that he has to help me do things that ordinary wives would do and yet, boasts that he is a great support to me! Even, one time, he shouted at me because I had gained some inner confidence and was able to do things on my own and he said that he was obviously not needed anymore and became rude and obnoxious, to the extent that I thought it better to just not have confidence and have never had that sense of inner goodness since.
Marriage about two people, so look at yourself too and see what you can improve.
Oh and aspergers is not static, so we can learn to adapt, but, we also have our personalities too and so, perhaps he suffers from narcissim?
