Need help understanding myself

[saturn123]

Hi! I was wondering if anyone had similar experiences as me. I had these kinds of problem throughout my life. I panic in certain situations when I am with people. This mainly happens when people say/do things that I didn't expect. Like for example, if a friend says something that I wasn't expecting, and creates a situation in which I hadn't ever handled before, I panic. This also happened when someone yelled at me, when I wasn't expected to get yelled at. My heart starts racing, my chest feels weird, I am restless, I can't concentrate, and my mind shuts down. Then I just have this feeling/think about this for perhaps a day, days, or weeks. Perhaps, it is because, I don't know how to handle the situation. Is this a problem associated with Aspergers/Autism, anxiety, or both?

 

[DCA]

I don't know if its an aspie thing, but if I get yelled at & I'm not expecting it, it causes me a reaction almost like physical pain. I also get that knot of anxiety too, down in the pit of my stomach. I'm conflict adverse so I don't know where that falls in all this...

 

[2205]

I wouldn’t say I panic in these kinds of situations but my mind definitely goes blank. There are not many times in my life when I’ve been yelled at but those few times that I have, plus all the times when someone just gives constructive criticism, I just kind of freeze. I can’t say anything, I’m not getting angry nor sad, I just stand there, watch the person in the eye( which is really strange because normally I can’t do that) and listen to everything s/he has to say(yell). But later, when the yelling is over, I get very upset about it and often cry or at least feel like crying . I feel so helpless and unsafe. And yes, this feeling goes on for days sometimes.

And this kind of reaction comes also when someone is just acting unexpected, just like you described.

That’s the reason I don’t go to social events like birthdays and such. People I know from work/school etc, are acting so different and unexpected there. They talk so much and then I talk so much
(half of which I usually regret saying bc I don’t know if it came out appropriate or not) Those conversations that I have at those events loop in my head for at least the next day and sometimes more. I can’t even sleep at night because of that.

 

[Pats]

I avoid conflict like the plague. I hate being yelled at and hate being anywhere nearby if someone is yelling at someone else. I freeze easily and things stay with me for days and I don't sleep and can't get my mind off whatever it is.
And like @2205 when someone starts a conversation on a topic that I have plenty of opinions on, I get to talking too much and regret that just as much.
I don't like anything unexpected because I haven't prepared for whatever it is and don't know how to handle it. Even if it's not bad. I was given a surprise 40th birthday party and they had an Elvis impersonator there who stayed in my personal space. I tried to keep a smile on my face, but I wanted so bad to chase everyone out, especially Elvis.

 

[Progster]

Yes, if something is sudden, then my kneejerk reaction is that I don't want it. If a new person suddenly comes along, or I get introduced to a new person where I'm not prepared for it, I panic and have been known to bolt. Also, if a stranger comes to the door, I panic and don't answer the door.

 

[Pats]

Also, if a stranger comes to the door, I panic and don't answer the door.

I actually had to laugh when I read this. Not because it's funny, but because of me. I had my desk, where I sit to be on the computer, write, crochet, eat, do everything, located where I could see out my french doors. Big mistake because when anyone came to the door, there I was. My son orders pizza to be delivered a lot and they tend to bring it to this door and I hate that. I hated having to go to the door and tell them to take it upstairs - around the back of the house (my door is on the side facing the driveway). Panic. I've actually, if I've know the pizza man was coming would turn all my lights off and hide until they delivered it upstairs. Anyway, not too long ago I moved my desk where I can actually hide. It's just funny how something so insignificant can be such a catastrophe. lol

 

[“Normal?”nick]

I feel this way when someone makes fun of me or something I said unexpectedly especially if I can’t think of something to say back. Or if I try to say something and it ends up being stupid and there’s other people around.

 

[megacomic]

It's other people I don't understand. As the old saying goes people with autism dont suffer from autism, they suffer from other people. But I have a thing where if someone gets in my personal space or is to close to me I freeze in place and stare at them until they leave. For example I dont like anyone to be in the kitchen while Im in the kitchen because I'm generally moving around I dont like people getting in my way. So if one of my housemates walks into to the kitchen while Im using it I freeze in place and stare at them until they leave. I dont know why I do this.