Among other things, I'd say some of the common themes in it all is a very long pattern of complaining about someone else not doing what he thinks they should have done, that no one is treating him right, and it's so unfair and everyone is so unreasonable, why don't they just do what they obviously should be doing, which is something to benefit him, without involving any effort on his part.
Well... my mum and I came over to London yesterday. What happened in route?
- My father rushed me and I dropped my headphones in the rain. My father started shouting when my mother suggested that we drive back to pick them up. So I had to buy a new pair in the end.
- An almighty row for 50 minutes in the car between my mother and father? Why? Well, because my father believes that my mother has to do everything he wants to do.
- Now, what does he do? Ignore her when she calls (on the trip), answers in a stroppy voice, give digs.
- Father told my mother that he expects her to stay at home if he does not want to go on a trip. The problem is that my father is a homebody and does not want to go anywhere. So he expects my mum to not go because he doesn’t want to go. - He then behaves in this manipulative, controlling way if she does not do this.
- I try to defend my mother in these arguments, but often end up backing down as he gets very angry/animated if I do so.
- As far as I am concerned this is controlling behaviour and something I do not agree with. A woman, or indeed anyone should be ABLE to go or travel anywhere independently in the World. If the husband does not want to travel, the wife can still go on.
- This cycle continues over and over again each and everytime my father does not travel with us. Shouting and roaring, bitching and digs.
- My father also expects my mother to agree with each and every point he makes in a debate or if he is disciplining me/my sister. She is not allowed to disagree with him.
So my father does have some awkward, stubborn traits that makes the relationship tedious and difficult to handle.
I do feel that my father has some form of Aspergers, due to the above behaviours and his rigid, rule based social behaviour.
The intention of this thread was to discuss the idea of my father never compromising, me feeling deeply uncomfortable with that, not knowing what to do.
You in turn decided to take it out on me (as an easy target) because you were feeling resentful that my parents pay for me to travel. Yes, my parents do pay. But I contribute small sums, for example, I paid for the full cost of the car hire in Portugal.
The issue I had this time, was that he would not get a car unless I paid for it I.e Blackmail. And I felt uncomfortable with that, backed into a corner. As I do feel that my father is often unaccommodating and I did not want to be controlled.