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My Family’s Dr. Phil Level Dramatic “Resort Guest” Family Freeloader/Spoiled Brat Situation:

Ethereal

New Member
Hello everyone, for the last nearly year my uncle has been staying in my parents’ guest house, where he gets to treat my parents’ house like a free all inclusive resort that features an entourage of 4 servants for various categories (me, my parents, & brother), and a car/2 (two of my parents’ 3 cars) to borrow at his leisure. My father is too henpecked to demand his worthless deadbeat brother-in-law to lift a finger for a single family chore whatsoever, and to my psychotic mother to her he has a mental problem (because of having had Covid), it’s his retirement/she already has enough stress in her life, so she doesn’t even try to demand him to lift a finger for any family chore whatsoever. And my putz brother has zero interest in calling out the “Resort Guest” asshole. He is a huge slob, who has effectively trashed the guest house, which had been cleaned out, via his antique business inventory hoarding & being a slob in general.

The “Resort Guest” aside from cooking a meal that others have eaten, a handful of times, and taking his own dinner plate from the table, if someone else does not take it, essentially does not do a single family chore whatsoever, he is a grown ass spoiled brat- doesn’t pay one penny of the guest house utilities, all he pays on my father’s/mother’s car is gas, he gets summoned to cooked family dinner, and he gets to have my father be his dinner ATM when my mother cooks family dinner, along with sometimes my father as his ATM when my mother eats out for breakfast. Though my father will call the “Resort Guest” out for common courtesy- once there was a wooden table altercation where my father requested the “Resort Guest” to remove a wooden table he bought from my mother’s car (he is an antique dealer hoarder, who gets to have his Mothership gallivanting entitlement on the weekends), and he proceeded to flip the bird behind my father’s back, & call my father OCD & disrespectful all over requesting common courtesy of don’t use another person’s car as storage.

Here’s the kicker- my father moved the table for him out of the car, because he claimed he couldn’t carry/lift it, and he still behaved like a grown ass disdainful spoiled brat to my henpecked father. Yet my parents did not blackball the “Resort Guest” spoiled brat asshole taker from driving my mother’s car over that wooden table altercation, because my mother won’t go for it, this is a car my parents are still making car payments on, where he has caused major wear & tear to it, I would have blackballed him on the spot from driving the car, over that altercation, on principle of him making a spoiled brat out of himself, if it were my car!

My mother’s philosophy is basically enable her “defective” brother to be a worthless deadbeat asshole till death. She is too “afraid” of losing her relationship with him to call him out for his “Resort Guest” assholism. If my father were a millionaire he would buy the “Resort Guest” a car to get him to go back home, that’s how fed up my henpecked father is with his deadbeat leech brother-in-law. Plenty of spouses/men would divorce over the “Resort Guest” situation safe to say. My mother views the idea of my father hypothetically buying him a car to go back home as “abandoning” him, WTH? To her he is not mentally capable of living alone now, so me, my parents, & brother are stuck with the “Resort Guest” situation!.

My family’s “Resort Guest” situation could star on a Dr. Phil family freeloaders/spoiled brats episode, I’d love to hear Dr. Phil’s opinion about it, and see his scathing censure of the “Resort Guest” for behaving like a spoiled brat, & his disdain for his upper middle class henpecked brother-in-law that he (effectively) leeches off, who has done far more for him than his own brother has in decades (effectively disowned his family of birth), yet he holds no grudge against his brother for not being participatory in his life, a huge WTH?

Does anyone here have any suggestions regarding this “Resort Guest” spoiled brat family freeloader asshole situation? My henpecked father should lay down the law, and kick him out, demand that he go back home (he would need a car to do so, but how is he supposed to afford a car, when he has idiotically lived hand to mouth his entire adult life, he has no personal savings, his “savings” is antique business hoarding inventory?). Imagine if my henpecked father hypothetically divorced- he couldn’t be such a spoiled brat!. It is such a major source of aggravation both for me & my father, the fact that he essentially doesn’t do a single family chore, getting to have his entourage of 4 servants for various categories, and my parents won’t demand the asshole taker to lift a finger for any family chore whatsoever. My anger does not feel at all honored about the “Resort Guest” situation.

-Thank you, Ethereal
 
Your diatribe is full of vitriol about your family members. All of whom seem perfectly happy with the arrangment of your uncle living in the guest house. Your post suggests that the real problem in this family may be your own attitude. Are you sure that is the message you want to convey?
 
People cannot be taken advantage of without their consent. If the situation disturbs you, move out to your own household. Issue solved. Only you have control of your actions in this situation, or do you intend to be a doormat?

(edit) I used to be too passive about such things, and entered adulthood without the abilities to know how to take action, in other words I lacked agency. It took work and developing a thick skin before I could advocate for myself. At 25 you are too old to hide behind your parent's decisions.
 
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I'll be quite blunt you are 25 years old, I don't know which country you live in. But you have no legitimate grounds for complaint, unless you own this property or are a stake holder in some substantive regard.(eg actually paying bills) You chose to live in this situation and so you shall suffer it. Make no mistake about it a portion of my family is white trash, I understand the basic idea of what is going on. To be blunt why the hell don't you at least have a rental?(This is assuming no profound disability)
 
Personally I would refrain from using "Dr. Phil" as any kind of benchmark as an authority over much of anything. Numerous sources consider Phil McGraw to be little more than a charlatan/television personality. A man with only a PhD in psychology- not a practicing medical doctor or therapist.

One who seems to pander to a specific audience, much like tv personality Jerry Springer, exploiting the concept of "Schadenfreude". One who provides pleasure derived by others from another person's misfortune.

He's just another example of mass media that wants to grab everyone by their lapels and shake them, rather than to academically enlighten much of anyone. But don't take my word. Simply type his name into any search engine.
 
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If the situation disturbs you, move out to your own household.

This is 100% the right answer. You can't change your uncle's behavior or your parents' behavior. The only behavior you can change is your own.

You need to separate or isolate yourself from the situation that is making you unhappy. The best way to do that is to get away to a place of your own.
 
I don't watch TV unless stuck in a waiting room, etc. So I have heard of Dr Phil, but haven't actually seen the show.

When I am stuck however, I like the cooking shows best. Not because I like cooking. Actually I hate cooking. But it is non-stressful at least. I saw the audience applaud once when Rachael Ray added chesse slices to the dish.

;)

P.S. This is a autism forum, so is it safe to assume you are on the spectrum?
 
It's hard for anyone here to comment as we don't know you or your family. You sound very critical of your parents and uncle, and at 25 there seems to be no reason why you should have to put up with them any more, unless disability is making it too hard to work or leave home? Hope you find a way forward.

I left home at 18 and I found it tough to manage but very much better than living with family. That would definitely be my recommendation.
 
Once I finished college, found a place, room was on my own never looked back.
Amen, brother. I did not really mature emotionally and socially until I was on my own. Nothing focuses your attention as much as having sole responsibility for your own care, comfort, and happiness.
 
Yes. My mom blamed me for my stepfathers perversion and kicked me out. But she did me a favor. I had to work, maybe not the best job choices but nevertheless l took care of myself.

Either move or you start holding your uncle accountable to help out your parents who are saddled with your 25 year old butt.
 
Personally I would refrain from using "Dr. Phil" as any kind of benchmark as an authority over much of anything. Numerous sources consider Phil McGraw to be little more than a charlatan/television personality. A man with only a PhD in psychology- not a practicing medical doctor or therapist.

One who seems to pander to a specific audience, much like tv personality Jerry Springer, exploiting the concept of "Schadenfreude". One who provides pleasure derived by others from another person's misfortune.

He's just another example of mass media that wants to grab everyone by their lapels and shake them, rather than to academically enlighten much of anyone. But don't take my word. Simply type his name into any search engine.
HE is an impressively bright guy with an agenda, I have watched him some advice is good take with grain of salt.
 
Yes. My mom blamed me for my stepfathers perversion and kicked me out. But she did me a favor. I had to work, maybe not the best job choices but nevertheless l took care of myself.

Either move or you start holding your uncle accountable to help out your parents who are saddled with your 25 year old butt.
That is so sad to hear. That level of denial and rejection is hard for me to fathom and must have been traumatic, far more than my garden variety social isolation. You must be a strong woman.
 
My parents are great, but I got sick and tired of them treating me like a child and hindering the progress I was trying to make and the independence I was trying to achieve.
I moved out. I have my own house now. I still occasionally ask them for assistance but mostly with medical stuff.
I suggest you do the same.
 
I don't watch TV unless stuck in a waiting room, etc. So I have heard of Dr Phil, but haven't actually seen the show.

When I am stuck however, I like the cooking shows best. Not because I like cooking. Actually I hate cooking. But it is non-stressful at least. I saw the audience applaud once when Rachael Ray added chesse slices to the dish.

;)

P.S. This is a autism forum, so is it safe to assume you are on the spectrum?
I remember when Rachel Ray was considered one of the sexiest women on television.:cool:
 
I remember when Rachel Ray was considered one of the sexiest women on television.:cool:

I have sidetrack or hijacked this post. The very young Rachel Ray was brutally mugged - i think it was NY after she left her restaurant job late at nite. I think she was mugged a second time by the same guy, and she moved and then career her started. My apologies to the OP.
 
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