Mother's day, Birthdays and Holidays

[Fade2black]

I've always hated them all. Yesterday, I should have called my 78yo mother, but I didn't. I sent her an email to say Happy Mothers day and I'm sure it broke her heart that I didn't call. But, I couldn't. It's just too difficult to be fake when the only reason for being celebratory is because society says we must.

Birthdays are bad, I don't want people to know it's my birthday and I've had to ask my kids not to wish me a happy b-day or to celebrate. At Christmas time, we don't put up a tree or lights, it's just too stressful and, in my opinion, a waste of time. I do buy presents for my kids, because it's obligatory but that's as much as I can manage.

My wife and son are NT and I can see the disappointed looks on their faces, but they 'get it.' Only recently have I discovered I'm not alone in being an Aspie who despises holidays.

The reason I'm making this post is that I am 100% sure there are other Aspies who feel the same as I do, and who carry the same guilt for feeling this way. Just wanted to let you know, you're not alone in the way you feel.

 

[Tom]

Call me material but the best thing about those days are the gifts! Getting one makes me happy and giving one makes them happy. But you gotta do your thinking or research and get the right gift for the person. Something they trully will enjoy getting. Getting a gift they don't really want is only slightly better then none at all.

 

[Au Naturel]

Holidays... One really bad thing about them is the unfiltered commerciality of most of them. Ads and commercials yammering at one trying to guilt you into dropping big bucks, implying that if you don't spend, you don't really care.

The other bad thing is the dysfunctional family get-togethers with people poking at each other (and me) over stupid stuff I don't care about but obviously means something to them. The worst is when they start replaying childhood trauma and battles and freaking out over slights that happened decades earlier.

But then, I just had a good mother's day. Got my wife a new car - only the second one in her entire life and probably her last one. I'll be pulling money out of my pension to pay for it. Then went to visit daughter and her hubby and our and son and a few of her friends. I managed to avoid being a jerk or nerding out too much over politics or outdoors or science or nudism. And my daughter announced she was expecting. That was pretty cool. I'm going to be a grandpa.

 

[Fino]

Do you feel it's right that you impose your idiocrasies onto your children? Does it make you feel principled? And that drug of drugs, validation. We'll do anything for that.

 

[Major Tom]

I'm not much of one for holidays either. Most are just to boost the economy. Birthdays, New year, and our wedding anniversary are the only ones I even acknowledge.