Meltdowns increasing since my diagnosis

[Simone]

Hi everyone
Sorry to not introduce myself properly before posting, but I am feeling a bit desperate.
I have been officially diagnosed with Asperger's 6 months ago. Since then, I experience more and more meltdowns, often followed by shutdowns. Looking back at my childhood, I realize that I used to have meltdowns very frequently for a period of time. They somehow disappeared around the age of 10 or 11, I still don't know due to what or how. Maybe some masking / unconscious coping mechanism.
Right now, it seems though as if all the coping mechanisms I have built over the years went out of order. It's as if a mask fell down and I feel completely exposed. I experience at least one meltdown a week when I try to function as I used to before. This worries me greatly. Is that "normal"? How can I possibly function to an extent that gets me somewhere in life? I feel constantly overwhelmed. I feel completely lost in this process and I don't understand what is going on.
I would very much appreciate some advice from people who might have gone through the same or similar and how they managed to copy. I feel so incredibly fragile, it's scary and I don't really know what to hold on to.
Thank you very much everyone.

 

[anacrusis]

*wave*
also relatively newly diagnosed - five months ago for me. I'm more of a shut-down than melt-down person, but understand they're probably part of the same general idea - a reaction to overload of stress. From what I've read, it could well be that you learnt how to mask in childhood, but masking is stressful to maintain longer term, and it can then happen that after masking for years, energy levels run out, and the autistic symptoms re-emerge. It's not the autism getting worse, it's more a question of running out of steam. I've certainly been more and more aware of my own autistic traits in the last months - partly I think because I now know what they are, partly because I have a lot of stress at the moment. The next thing to figure out is what to do about them - I'm so used to masking that it would feel strange not to, but if it's making me exhausted, I'm going to have to find ways round the stresses instead.
Good luck with your journey too - as I understand it, it can seem as if the autism is "getting worse" when really it's just becoming more visible under stress. Be kind to yourself

 

[Nitro]

Hi Simone

 

[Wolfnox]

It happened to me like that a week ago. All you can do is fight and try to wait it out. Uplifting music, movies, and good comedies help too.

 

[Major Tom]

Welcome!

 

[clg114]

Welcome to Autism Forums!

 

[Judge]

Welcome to AF.

I'm inclined to think that we all deal with self-awareness in different ways. Perhaps the best thing for the timed being may be to just allow yourself some room to be yourself, whatever it manifests.

Masking my traits and behaviors can be exhausting, yet for me it remains a struggle to cut back on them. Go figure.

 

[Cazelle]

Hi Simone, and welcome .

 

[Isadoorian]

Welcome to the Forums! I hope you make new friends and enjoy your stay in the process!

 

[Suzanne]

Hi there and so very much welcome and me too, around 6 month's ago, got my official diagnosis.

When a child, I had shutdowns; as an adult, meltdowns, but I am now taking a tablet for anger issues that are related to autism and so far, so good.

I get angry still, but it fizzles out.

I do agree, they are utterly demoralising, because they are pretty much unreasonable; not all meltdowns though.

 

[Pats]

Hello and welcome. I also thought that maybe one of the people you masked most for was yourself and now maybe you're more open to accepting these things, so more prone to carry them out.? Give yourself a little time to acclimate to your discoveries - it's a lot to process.