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Lost with zero motivation

Discussion in 'Help and Support' started by WoodWorkingJoel, Jan 14, 2021 at 3:59 AM.

  1. WoodWorkingJoel

    WoodWorkingJoel Active Member

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    Not really sure why I'm writing this, I'm just completely lost with no direction. I wake up, work, watch TV, eat sleep. Repeat. I've no real complex health issue other than a constant fatigue. The idea of excerise repels me as it leads to further fatigue but more than that I just don't want to.
    I don't want to do anything, I would happily quit my job except I can't because I need to eat and I would just sit around all day. Need a hobby but nothing interests me anymore.. Yes I've suffered depression but this is a different. I just feel aimless and don't see the point in doing anything other than distract myself with TVj and computer games. Rant over
    Just needed to get it out.
     
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  2. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    Your user name is "WoodWorkingJoel." Is wood working something that motivates you?
     
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  3. Misery

    Misery Photo-Negative V.I.P Member

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    Same main advice I always give here for those who are feeling listless:

    Drink water. A lot of water. Most people are dehydrated, whether they realize it or not. And dehydration has a ton of negative effects... it hits you in many places all at once, and two of those places are mood, and energy. You'll have quite a lower mood, and much less energy, when you're dehydrated, which you probably are. Water has only positive effects, there's little reason NOT to drink it... it can only help you. But you have to keep at it. It's not the sort of thing where you do it once or twice and BAM that's a cure. Doesnt work that way. Gotta get onto a proper regimen with this, and it's not easy to do. You need to make sure you're getting enough of it, it'll take probably a couple of weeks before the positive effect begins (because your body isnt used to processing that much of it due to the constant dehydration) and until that starts, you'll have to use the bathroom about a bazillion times a day. It's very worth doing though.

    Do you drink alcohol? If so, dump it. ALL OF IT. Unlike water it literally has ONLY negative effects. It will worsen your depression, make you feel more listless, lower your energy, among other unpleasant things it does. Yes, I know society says that alcohol is a big deal and you're supposed to do it, but society is also dumber than a sack of hammers.

    DEFINITELY get another hobby. It sounds like you've fallen into the exact same problem I went through, which is being stuck in a rut. Dont get me wrong, video games are fine, they're my primary hobby. But you need VARIETY. In my case, while it was initially difficult to get motivated to try something new, certain family members sorta pushed me to do it regardless, and... yeah, it worked. There's a ton of really amazing hobbies out there, and for most of them, the rabbit hole is way deeper than you might initially think. I dove into board games for instance, and discovered that solo play is a big thing now (perfect for me), there's a huge community with reviews and videos and guides and such, and incredibly creative ideas being made by incredibly creative people. AND, it has a great tactile element. Considering that I used to think of board games as basically "roll dice and move like in Monopoly", well... yeah, that rabbit hole really is DEEP. And that's how hobbies are. You arent going to see how interesting and deep one really is, until you take the time to truly explore it a bit. Fortunately, the resources are out there, particularly on Youtube. Seriously though, being stuck in a rut like that is one of the worst things that can happen for your mood and such. Particularly for those of us on the spectrum. Even if you have to outright force yourself, look into stuff to try out.

    Lastly: Dont sit and watch stuff too often. Definitely lower how much of that you do. Why? Because you need things that actually engage your mind properly... watching stuff wont do that, no matter how interesting it may be. It is not providing any actual mental challenge, no need to think about situations and make decisions, and so on. A lot of people out there will just sit like slugs in front of their TV all the bloody time, and then wonder why the heck they feel like everything is dull. Well, that's why.


    Seriously, I went through exactly what you describe, and this is what worked for me and really turned things around. Give it a try! All of it! It aint easy, definitely not. But it's worth doing.
     
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  4. WoodWorkingJoel

    WoodWorkingJoel Active Member

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    It did in the past but literally nothing interests me anymore.
     
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  5. WoodWorkingJoel

    WoodWorkingJoel Active Member

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    Thanks for the reply but alcohol is long gone and I make a point of drinking water, second only to air and I figured give my body what it needs.
    Your right about the TV. I'll do a dry run on it, perhaps being bored will conversely get me going. Thank you.
     
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  6. Misery

    Misery Photo-Negative V.I.P Member

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    Well, that's good then, with the alcohol gone and water going you're on the right track.

    One thing: I strongly suggest doing a little research to make sure you're getting ENOUGH water. What I found out the hard way is that the amount needed is, like, a ton. WAY more than I ever thought. Regular water regimen is great and all.... but it does nothing whatsoever if it aint enough. "Second only to air" suggests you're doing it right, but still, cant hurt to make sure.

    But anyway, yeah, other than that... getting a hobby is really the big point. Mentally engaging, rewarding, and can be very productive. All positive. That always remains my strongest advice.

    Well, one last thing: Get some sun. That also has more effect than I ever thought. Yeah, I know, Covid. But the precautions necessary to prevent that are so very easy to do.

    And of course if you ever need help with stuff or are having a tough day, well, that's what this forum is for, dont hesitate to post.

    Good luck! I hope you can get into a more positive state soon!
     
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  7. unperson

    unperson Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Wash, Rinse, Repeat. Life is pretty routine. Take up skydiving or something exhilirating like that.
     
  8. paloftoon

    paloftoon Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Interactive fiction games have visual stimulation, but you have to think. A free series of them is called "Adventure Escape" which can be found as a phone app or on Steam for free. Steam software is free too. This could be a good way to transition. Do something you like, but add in an element that could be good for you too.

    Samsorost 1 cannot be purchased, and no longer works on the author's website as Adobe Flash Player is disabled.

    https://macintoshgarden.org/games/samorost-1
    I think I downloaded here to get it to work.

    Samorost 1 & 2 PC Game Free Download | FreeGamesDL
    Looks like this might have Samorost 2 for free, but not sure. I bought my #2 on Black Friday.

    If you're looking for someone to do something online games with, feel free to PM me and we can try to work something out.
     
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  9. WoodWorkingJoel

    WoodWorkingJoel Active Member

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    I might skip the skydiving bit, need motivation not pure terror
     
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  10. OkRad

    OkRad μῆνιν ἄειδε θεὰ Πηληϊάδεω Ἀχιλῆος οὐλομένην V.I.P Member

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    Sometimes it helps to have someone doing it with you. Do you want to read a play at the same time or commit to making one small thing and showing it to each other or learn something new, something small? I am game for something small. I know what that brain lock feels like. I hate it. I am in a bit of it myself after the Insurrection.
     
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  11. Finder

    Finder Active Member

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    Sometimes, you just need a break. I would also say it is related to depression, but maybe from a different cause--burnout? Forgive yourself. These things can pass.

    You could start collecting molding planes...
     
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  12. 4na11

    4na11 Active Member

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    My understanding about depression is that in a normal state we enjoy a happy marriage to ourselves. Then, something happens and we die, and we have to grief this loss. So, if people come and ask us to go out, to this, to that, we just don't want because we are newly widow. It is only time that will bring another passion and the chance for us to marry us again.
    As any loss, each of us have their time to grief. You will fall in love with you again, and you will be able to enjoy everything life has to give. But it can only happen if you truly let this sadness go. Live it intensely and let it go.
     
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  13. WoodWorkingJoel

    WoodWorkingJoel Active Member

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    Thanks but I'm going to reduce the gaming aswell.
    Really do appreciate the kind offer.
     
  14. WoodWorkingJoel

    WoodWorkingJoel Active Member

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    Incredibly kind offer but me and other people is not something I've managed to be comfortable with. Amazing that 2 people offered their
    time and energy to help me. This forum really is a haven of good people.
     
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  15. _eri_bellehumeur

    _eri_bellehumeur Member

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    I went through this for many years. It is an extremely hard state to get out of, but small steps really do add up over time. I found tracking my mood alongside other habits, both healthy and unhealthy has really helped in narrowing down what contributes to and what detracts from a sense of wellness. I record things like the hours I've slept, whether I've taken my supplements, if I've gotten out of the house that day, how much protein I've consumed (a rough estimate just to ensure I'm getting enough has drastically changed my energy levels so I am no longer in a constant state of exhaustion), and other things related to my health. Food has been the biggest thing for me- cutting out processed food has had a huge impact on my energy levels and mental health. I have never been an exceptional cook, but the decision to eat only home-cooked meals has also encouraged me to learn something new, and I think there is something very simple and empowering in separating oneself in any small way from the gross fast service/production, low quality culture that is so prevalent in food, fashion, and many other aspects of our society.
    I was never one for exercising myself, but simple things like going for a walk in a quiet place, getting out of the city if that is possible for you, or engaging in some kind of enjoyable physical activity, whether it's dancing in your living room or going for a run will have a huge impact.
    Doing small things that can break up the routine can also help.
    Another thing is that we as a society seem to have forgotten the value of true rest. What may be of help is reducing how much "background noise" you engage with for a time. This may help in allowing you to align yourself with something that really speaks to you and inspires you. Cutting out social media if you have it for a period of time, keeping a set time for how much tv you watch or how much gaming you do on a daily basis, how much news you engage with or from what sources are examples of this. I've found that spending even 10 minutes in the morning doing some light stretches in silence has helped to ground me a lot- it's easy to forget that we are more than wage slaves when our continued stability is reliant on an often soul sucking job, but little things can help.
     
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  16. WoodWorkingJoel

    WoodWorkingJoel Active Member

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    Thanks all, turns out my main interest at the moment is figuring out why I've no interest :)
    The new plan is more water and a tracking sheet with food, BP, mood, sleep. Hopefully I'll start to make some connections between my fatigue mood and food and can make some adjustments.
    Just need to stick with it.
    Thanks again.
    Joel