Loneliness still affects me

[Markness]

My more recent status updates might make it look like I am completely comfortable with being by myself. However, I still get loneliness spells. I’ve just learned to handle them better than I used to.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Me too now with increased meds, therapy and forgiveness from friends.

 

[Shamar]

My more recent status updates might make it look like I am completely comfortable with being by myself. However, I still get loneliness spells. I’ve just learned to handle them better than I used to.

Congratulations, you've grown a bit. You would never have said that a year or two ago.

Loneliness is a reality for everybody at one time or another. I live it daily.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Seeing those resting faces at Cobble Hill Park today look at me like a freak and ignore me ruined my good week, especially since the waitress was nice to me and I tipped her five dollars at IHOP.

That park triggers me. As does Root's café, Elizabeth Street Garden, Bryant Park, Park Slope Community Church, Brooklyn Bridge Park, Social anxiety meetup Group basically mostly a bunch of fakers (where I meet Jade ultimately blocked me this summer and nearly ruined me).

Also, I made some new friends at the 40th Street Church to this past weekend and I saw four movies in the theater.

So now I'm not going to leave the house for a couple of days, it's going to be raining.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

My more recent status updates might make it look like I am completely comfortable with being by myself. However, I still get loneliness spells. I’ve just learned to handle them better than I used to.

It is good to understand that one is a "work in progress"...striving for something better within oneself. Probably a good, healthy approach to life, in general.

 

[Xinyta]

I'm glad to see you are in a better place than you were. I know I've given you a bit of a hard time, when I have posted responses in the past. I was in a rough position myself mentally.

But yeah. Loneliness can be crippling when we allow it to affect how we feel and look at things. The desperation to have someone in your life. Whether it's a desire for a significant other or someone to have as a friend. I've been a seeker of the latter. Not that I have not had a mild desire for the fore. But with me. I have had to realize that my loneliness is largely self-created, through my lack of social skills and desire to block out the world.

But I digress. Hopefully things continue to improve for you. Just keep focused on the goal. You can do this.

 

[Rocco]

Pain is neccesary…

That reminds me of a short video I saw yesterday

 

[Metalhead]

If you were not 2000 miles away, we would go to metal shows together.

 

[Markness]

I still think my lack of intimacy is an issue and I wish I could find a solution.

 

[Metalhead]

I still think my lack of intimacy is an issue and I wish I could find a solution.

Honestly, the best way to get into an intimate relationship with another human is to learn how to love yourself first. If you believe you are worth the effort, people will pick up on that and see you as a viable option. And you are worth the effort. But you have to believe it yourself.

 

[Metalhead]

Honestly, the best way to get into an intimate relationship with another human is to learn how to love yourself first. If you believe you are worth the effort, people will pick up on that and see you as a viable option. And you are worth the effort. But you have to believe it yourself.

And honestly, I am great at giving other people advice that I need to take myself. You are not alone.

 

[tree]

The idea of loving oneself is really hard for some people
to deal with. On the other hand 'self maintenance' may
not be. A person maintains a car. There are routine
things necessary to maintain a vehicle in good running
order. There are things necessary to maintain a human
in good running order, as well.

Calling it self care or love sounds like A. a treat to be doled
out after you've been good enough or B. something you
don't know how to do and maybe feel you don't deserve.

The idea of self-maintenance, which includes respect for oneself,
treating oneself with kindness (not calling yourself bad names
when your performance may be less than what you'd hoped),
having boundaries etc is a way of thinking about your relationship
with yourself in a way that has the advantage of objectivity.

 

[Markness]

I still struggle with thoughts of uncertainty and wondering if my life can or will get better. It doesn’t help that some plans I had for this year got scrapped. Social opportunities seem to diminish for me.

 

[lunarious]

struggel is good

People whom struggel more are better Humans. Struggel means living with pain.

 

[Markness]

struggel is good

People whom struggel more are better Humans. Struggel means living with pain.

Not always. My grandmother is 91 and her physical as well as mental struggles have ruined her life. She hates being cooped up in a nursing home as well.

 

[lunarious]

I agree

I want to spescify that my struggel is a good thing.

 

[Violetskyy]

I still struggle with thoughts of uncertainty and wondering if my life can or will get better. It doesn’t help that some plans I had for this year got scrapped. Social opportunities seem to diminish for me.

What makes social interaction most difficult for you?

 

[Markness]

What makes social interaction most difficult for you?

Keeping the conversations going without awkward pauses, the other person checking out on me (Meaning they look away and don’t want to talk to me anymore.), and seeing if I can get a date with a woman.

All my siblings are married and have children. I feel doomed to being alone until I die. After 37 years and life not going my way, it feels more and more obvious.

 

[tree]

You could practice conversation.

Playing games that involve talking with people is one way to practice.